Smallest Funny Quotes & Sayings

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower? — Warren Hutcherson

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest. — Neil Kinnock

Girls developed eating disorders when our culture developed a standard of beauty that they couldn't obtain by being healthy. When unnatural thinness became attractive, girls did unnatural things to be thin. — Mary Pipher

Humans are most imaginative when they need a means of self-destruction. If the world existed in an overflowing amount of happiness; a utopian state, then the suicide rate would dwarf any extinction level threat. Humans cannot be trusted with their own survival. Their minds have been trained to be blindly and unconsciously subjugated. In a time related to Heaven-on-Earth, the smallest amount of worry, will drive a human into the arms of death. This is how weak and fragile the human mind and will is. It's funny, because the best friend of humanity, is none other than Chaos itself. — Lionel Suggs

And so, though Smith was not at all the man Knight would have deliberately chosen as a friend - or even for one of a group of a dozen friends - he somehow was his friend. Circumstance, as usual, did it all. How many of us can say of our most intimate alter ego, leaving alone friends of the outer circle, that he is the man we should have chosen, as embodying the net result after adding up all the points in human nature that we love, and principles we hold, and subtracting all that we hate? The man is really somebody we got to know by mere physical juxtaposition long maintained, and was taken into our confidence, and even heart, as a makeshift. — Thomas Hardy

Republican politics have been off-kilter for several years now because a large segment of the conservative base does not look back fondly on the Bush presidency. — Jonah Goldberg

It's funny how the smallest things I've done speak the loudest about me, but I like that. — Xavier Niel

I went to a pizzeria. The guy gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart with what would you do if you found a million dollars, he gave me the "Donate it to charity" slice. "I'd like to exchange this for the 'Keep it!'" — Mitch Hedberg

Christmas is the season I use to clock failure in life. It stops time, as it were, on the year - where you are in it, where you are in your travail unto the grave. — Padgett Powell

Being strong means allowing yourself to cry over the things you can't change; laugh when things are funny; smile when you're happy. It means understanding where your breaking point is, and yet, going further and still remaining whole. Strong people push themselves to the limits of pain and joy. They fall to their knees in agony, then they lift up their faces to find the beautiful morning rays shining down on them, and they rise to their feet. Being strong means never giving up, no matter how crushed you are, and finding happiness in the smallest parts of life. — D. Nichole King

Yet I thought I saw her stand,
A shadow there at my feet,
High over the shadowy land. — Alfred Tennyson

Isn't it funny how the moments that define our lives the most are almost always the smallest? A scattering of almost inconsequential seconds that steer our course; the proverbial butterfly wings which produce the hurricane of our lives. Single sentences, concepts, and choices-especially choices-which make or break who you are, and who you will become. — Brandon M. Herbert

The gate is perfectly simple," Temeraire said. "There is only a bar across the fence, which one can lift very easily, and then it swings open; Nitidus could do it best, for his forehands are the smallest. Though it is difficult to keep the animals inside the pen, and the first time I learned how to open it, they all ran away," he added. "Maximus and I had to chase after them for hours and hours
it was not funny at all," he said, ruffled, sitting back on his haunches and contemplating Laurence with great indignation. — Naomi Novik

I don't make enemies, it's just I'm not afraid to speak my mind, which can sometimes mean people don't like what I am saying. — Alan Sugar

Whoever uses the spirit that is
in him creatively is an artist. To
make living itself an art, that is
the goal. — Henry Miller

She must really love you to distraction."
"It's rather a funny sensation, you know," he answered, wrinkling a perplexed forehead. "I haven't the smallest doubt that if I really left her, definitely, she would commit suicide. Not with any ill-feeling towards me, but quite naturally, because she was unwilling to live without me. It is a curious feeling it gives one to know that. It can't help meaning something to you. — W. Somerset Maugham

'A Tuna Christmas' is the second in a series of plays created by Joe Sears and Jaston Williams featuring the fictional town of Greater Tuna, the third-smallest town in Texas. What makes these plays so hysterically funny is the accurate portrayal of small-town life in the Lone Star State. — Lori Wilde

I am better able to imagine hell than heaven; it is my inheritance, I suppose. — Elinor Wylie