Smack Head Quotes & Sayings

Okay," Crick said, rolling his eyes. "I give. Which part of my body is more interesting than my ass?"
Deacon rewarded his obtuseness with a smack to the head. "Your heart, you fuckin' moron ... — Amy Lane

Is that why you said all that stuff earlier-because you were trying to protect me? Because if it was, I'll tell you it was the sweetest kindest thing, and if you ever do it again, I'll smack you upside the head until your ears ring 'Jingle Bells — Andrew Grey

Yes, I saw Twilight - my granddaughter made me watch it, she said it was the greatest vampire film ever. After the 'film' was over I wanted to smack her across her head with my shoe, but I do not want a (tell-all) book called Grannie Dearest written on me when I die. So instead I gave her a DVD of Murnau's 1922 masterpiece Nosferatu and told her, 'Now that's a vampire film!' And that goes for all of you! Watch Nosferatu instead! — Lauren Bacall

At "tooth fairy," Sophie popped her head out the door. "I will smack that bitch up and take her bag of quarters! I will not be fucked with! — Christopher Moore

1. Good Morning! You're Going to Die 2. The Man with the Metal Bra 3. Don't Accept Rides from Strange Relatives 4. Seriously, the Dude Cannot Drive 5. I've Always Wanted to Destroy a Bridge 6. Make Way for Ducklings, or They Will Smack You Upside the Head 7. You Look Great Without a Nose, Really 8. Mind the Gap, and Also the Hairy Guy with the Ax 9. You Totally Want the Minibar Key 10. — Rick Riordan

I have never seen any place on Earth as beautiful, improbable, and beautifully ridiculous as Australia. Whatever god or devil first conceived of the place deserves some sort of award, and possibly a smack in the head. — Seanan McGuire

This late afternoon, they stood shoulder to shoulder at the masthead, watching the dockhands tie up the boat. Though she was four years younger and a girl, they were nearly the same height, Gina and Salvo. Gina was actually taller. No one could figure out where she got the height; her parents and brothers were not tall. Look, the villagers would say. Two "piccolo" brothers and a "di altezza" sister. Oh, that's because we have different fathers, Gina would reply dryly. Salvo would smack her upside the head when he heard her say this. Think what you're saying about our mother, he would scold, crossing himself and her at her impudence. — Paullina Simons

Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory — Christopher Moore

Find Eloy. Smack his head into a wall, dance on his guts ... I'd get creative. Spontaneous like. — Kim Harrison

I pinch the sentence's butt with my other hand and tug it from my skin like a leech, smack it back on the page and clamp the book shut. Part of it's hanging out, and it waves jerkily at me with what appears to be blatant hostility. I stick the book back on the upside-down shelf over my head, pissed off sentence first, counting on the gluey base to hold it in. All I need is a badly mangled, irate sentence stalking me. — Karen Marie Moning

A knock sounds on the door.
"Who is it?" Matt yells, exasperated.
"Your father."
"What do you want?"
"Can you mow the lawn tomorrow after church?"
"Daaaaaaaad." Matt's shaking his head and laughing. My mouth has dropped open. "Couldn't you have waited until after Kate goes home to ask me?"
"I didn't want to forget," Mr. Brown says from behind the door.
Matt whispers to me, "This is his way of saying we shouldn't be in here alone together."
I nod.
Matt yells to his dad, "Fine, I'll mow the lawn. Now go away."
I smack his chest.
"What?" Matt asks, clutching my hands so I can't hit him again.
"You shouldn't treat your dad that way."
"I like her," Mr. Brown says from out in the hallway.
"Daaaaadd, stop eavesdropping!" Matt jumps to his feet and grabs his keys from the nightstand. "That's it, I'm taking you home. We'll never find any peace around here."
I can't stop laughing. — Miranda Kenneally

Truth be told, I didn't intend to get caught. I don't worry about repercussions until they smack me in the head. — Anonymous

I'd smack you over the head with it so hard your bell would still be ringing for Church next Saturday night. ~ Jaz — Jennifer Rardin

I've had a pilot every single year that didn't sell for the past four years, that'll smack you in the back of the head. I had a really good one last year; I wouldn't have done the play in New York if I had gotten that one. — Bob Saget

I mean exactly that," Mr. Davison retorted. "You've hit the nail smack on the head. We pay a price for having money. People in my position" - he turned to Kay - "have 'privilege.' That's what I read in the Nation and the New Republic." Mrs. Davison nodded. "Good," said Mr. Davison. "Now listen. The fellow who's got privilege gives up some rights or ought to. — Mary McCarthy

Odd how one man could evoke so many emotions within her. Lust? Oh yeah, much of the time. The urge to smack him upside the back of his head? Yep, that was often there, too. Affection? She'd have said no. He didn't need her affection, everyone admired and loved Sawyer, who was just about the most composed, self-assured, capable man she'd ever met.
But there was something suspiciously close to affection filling her now, which had her shaking her head at herself. — Jill Shalvis

No matter what's in your head, you go up into any hospital, up to a terminal ward and it'll smack you right back into reality that, "Hey man, whatever you're dealing with, if it's heavy on your heart and head, you're gonna have to let that go, because there, some people are dealing with unavoidable situations that they can't let go." And then they eventually let those go, so, I mean, that's helpful. — Chuck D

What?" I shrieked and slapped his chest again ...
"Ouch." He rubbed the spot. "Does it disturb you that I'm kind of getting turned on right now?"
I shook my head. "Seriously?"
"Maybe?" he murmured, dipping his head and causing the ends sticking out from under the skullcap to sway. "I'm pretty erect right now to be honest."
"Oh my God ... " I rubbed my hand over my hot cheek ...
"Want to smack me again? You could try my ass. I'll probably like that."
I stared at him. — J. Lynn

How did I dance with a guy who's never heard of feminism?"
"I've heard of it, but that doesn't mean a woman can do everything a man can do," he goaded. I went to smack him on the back of his head, but he ducked with a snicker."I'm learning," he informed me. "How did I ever consider dating such a violent girl?"
"We're both lucky we got out early before we really knew each other."
"Oh yes, good thing neither one of is still interested in the other," Brent said with a playful grin. — Lani Woodland

I wanted to smack Logan over the head for his pessimistic attitude. — Micalea Smeltzer

He'd hung up.
The words end call printed across the screen on my phone confirmed it.
At least a minute later my bedroom door swung open to smack against my knees and Marc stuck his head around the edge to see what he'd hit. He found me still staring at my phone my robe gaping open across one thigh. "You have to push the buttons to make that work " he said his expression completely serious.
"Thanks smart-ass. — Rachel Vincent

Goodness, that stuff rips like paper," she exclaimed, reaching to pull her tank top off. She was halfway through the action when the door opened and Alec walked into the room.
"Izzy, are you - " he began. His eyes flew wide, and he backed up fast enough to smack his head into the wall behind him. "What is he doing here?"
Isabelle tugged her tank top back down and glared at her brother. "You don't knock now?"
"It - It's my bedroom!" Alec spluttered. He seemed to be deliberately trying not to look at Izzy and Simon, who were indeed in a very compromising position. — Cassandra Clare

This kiss is zeroes and ones jumbled
and tossed into a pneumatic system,
unscrambled at the end and scrawled
onto a tape recorder slowly rolling
at the side of your bed,
then slapping back, reverbed
off the ringer, a tinny phantom
of the smooch like a smack on
an aluminum can, up the same
veins through the belly of the same satellite
and softly to the side of my head; — Mike Doughty

It'd hardly be worth having a brother at all, if you couldn't smack him in the head every once in a while. — Lois Greiman

Pain has an odd way of expressing itself in the acts of business. No matter how many setbacks a leader might experience, there always seems to be a new opaque watermark of endurance testing, invisibly triggered for erratic combustion in each compounding decision. Every CEO in the world knows this, yet few have the good sense to walk away from the table when their cards are hot. Why win in Act Two when a comeback in Act Three gives you a longer biography? Ego is not so much about immortality as it is about demonstrating stately resistance to nightmarish attacks in public forums. Any good smack to the head is a continuity wake up call, or at least another invitation to be interviewed by Charlie Rose. — Ken Goldstein

I am fluent in snark.
Bethany only notices snark when snark grabs her off the sidewalk, throws her in the back of a sketchy van with tinted windows, drives to the middle
of the Meadow-lands in the dead of night, and uses a heavy blunt instrument
to smack her repeatedly about the head as it screams, "I'M SNARK. DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? I'M SNARKY SNARKY SNARK!" And even then she's like, "Ohhhh? Snark? Is that you? — Megan McCafferty

But the thoughts in his head were too exciting and they came fast. He thought, maybe, the love energy that couldn't find a host in a world full of selfish humans had somehow been attracted to him and formed that strange, unique power he had. "The Gift" was actually a smack down from God, wasn't it? Retribution. The atomic bomb of love energy. But maybe Vegas could reverse things and save the humans he was sent to destroy. — Charlie Fey

She does know we're coming, right?' I ask.
'Well ... ' He hems and haws a bit. 'Not exactly.'
Laney immediately smacks the back of his head. 'Jake! You mean we're showing up unannounced? That is so rude!'
'What if she isn't there? What are we going to do?' I smack him once, too, for good measure. 'What is *wrong* with you?'
'Can we please stop with the abuse? — Hannah Harrington

When you're looking back, you can't look forward. And sometimes you run smack into something and hit your head. — Jennifer Niven

If I ever get Manziel disease, I want all of you to smack me in the head with your microphones — Jameis Winston

I've got friends who didn't vote. I want to smack them upside the head. — Kid Rock

Then you need to fight for him. Don't give up on something like that. It doesn't come along very often. And when you find it, you hold on tight. You lock that shit down with an iron fist and you never, ever let go. Even when life tries to take it from you, you smack life upside its head like a little bitch and you keep on fighting for it. — A Meredith Walters

You don't strike me as the princess type."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
Daniel Smiled. "It means that I'd still go out of my way to rescue you, but you'd probably smack me across the head and try to slay the dragon yourself. — Jeyn Roberts

Make Way for Ducklings, or They Will Smack You Upside the Head — Rick Riordan

Dunce is completely bald and has a really pointed head so the temptation to get him paralytic on his thirtieth birthday, carry him to the tattooist's and get a nice big 'D' smack bang in the middle of his forehead was too much for me. Trouble is he can't afford to have it removed so he wears a big plaster over it. Gangs of children tease him.

'What's underneath the plaster, mister? Show us!'

They swear he has a third eye under there.

My name is Bill but Dunce calls me 'Fez' on account of my hat. I've known Dunce for over sixteen years. — Mike Russell

Dani, Dani, Dani."
I flinch. I've never heard anyone say my name so gently. It creeps me all kinds of out.
He's towering over me, arms crossed over his chest, scarred forearms dark against the rolled-up sleeves of a crisp white shirt.
Heavy silver cuffs glint at both wrists. The light is smack behind his head, as usual.
"You didn't really think I'd let you get away with it," Ryodan says. — Karen Marie Moning

Please follow these instructions:
1. Stack the pages of this letter neatly.
2. Roll the pages up into a cylinder.
3. Smack yourself over the head with it.
4. Repeat. You complete ass. — Leah Thomas

I'm sure some of you get sent to your rooms sometimes by your parents. All I have to say is, the next time it happens and you're lying there all mad thinking about how hard your life is, just picture me standing next to you, ready to smack you upside the head. When I get sent to my room, it's in a freaking dungeon! With rats! — James Patterson

Oh lovely snowball, packed with care, smack a head that's unaware! Then with freezing ice to spare, melt and soak through underwear! Fly straight and true, hit hard and square! This, oh snowball, is my prayer. I only throw consecrated snowballs. — Bill Watterson

There might be fighting, and you look like a hard stare could break a limb off," I said in exasperation.
Something beamed me in the back. I whirled, already shooting, but I'd been struck with a detached head - gross, yet not dangerous. Then another head came rushing toward me as if it were a bowling ball, and my legs were pins. I dodged out of the way only to have it turn in midair and smack me in the ass.
"Stop it, you made your point! — Jeaniene Frost

I... heard a low whistle. I jerked my head up to see Chris standing on the top of the steps next to Tristan. Pervy little boy. He leaned toward his brother, whispering loudly, "Trist, she looks really pretty!"
My cheeks burned and Tristan gave his brother a smack on the back of the head. "Shut up! She can hear you! — Renee Carter

I was curious as to how my words started circulating at such an alarming rate. After all, every author waits to be discovered by someone. Anyone. And so I found myself smack bang in the middle of the mad hatters head, and as someone put it, Tumblr might actually be worse than that. But yes, futilely, I was attempting to discover the elusive origin of my words by tracing back notes until I came across my quote right next to a selfie of a stripper, or hooker, with a fox tail butt plug ... and that was when I stopped. — Dimitri Zaik

Giannine
What are they going to do: smack me on the head with a pamplet? — Vivian Vande Velde

I actually think the same things do make most people happy. The differences are extremely small, and around the margins. You like peach ice cream; I like strawberry ice cream. Both of us like ice cream much better than a smack on the head with two-by-four. — Daniel Gilbert

Well, in the meantime, Carter and I have been discussing the matter of Ryan." This time it wasn't the clang of a pan I heard, but instead a messy smack
the contact of Carter's backhand with Dean's head, I presumed. "Just hear me out. You have options. I have an Italian uncle. He'll make sure Ryan is sleeping with the fishes by next week."
"Dean!" Unable to repress my amusement, my eyes flew wide and my grin grew.
"Either that, or we can go all Sweeney Todd on him and
"
"Oh, will you stop?" My laughter was crippling. "There will be no calls to your uncle and no trip to the barber shop
please, leave Sweeney Todd out of it. — Rachael Wade

Cam gave him a halfhearted boot on the top of his head with the heel of one hand. "Why don't you shut
up until I say what I have to say?"
The painless smack and impatient order were more comforting to Seth than a thousand promises. — Nora Roberts

That's what siblings are: a reality check. Try to become someone you're not - affect an accent, or start quoting the temperature in Celsius instead of Fahrenheit- and they're the ones who smack you upside the head. Siblings are like potters; they try you by fire, glaze you with taunts, finish you with well-aimed jibes. If you emerge from that kiln without cracking, you can survive the world. — Lisa Takeuchi Cullen