Site For Funny Quotes & Sayings

Comedy Central wanted to do a show with me, I had a couple failures under my belt with them already, but they still wanted to try something else. They came to me and said they wanted to do something that was internet focused and created original content on their site, so they could compete with the funny or dies and what not. So that was the premise, and they gave us a small amount of money, $5000, and from there it turned into the show. — Daniel Tosh

If you load responsibility on a man unworthy of it he will always betray himself — August Heckscher

After all, this was the place where I'd had my first meaningful conversation with a female, it was the site of a football's first encounter with my groin, and above all, it was the location where I was first punched in the face by a bully. Somewhere out there, a tooth of mine lay deep within the soil. — Wes Locher

Every man who accomplishes things sees first in his mind what he wishes to do. He puts away all doubt. It makes no difference how small or how large the thing you want to do may be; if you have an unlimited confidence in your ability to do it, you will do — Charles Fillmore

In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed. — Allan Sherman

Its funny when I'm cyber bullied(anonymously) because when people do it to me,I don't think of how much I want to hurt them or punch them in the face like my friends do ... but I go on this site and write a quote to them back, hoping to kill them with kindness. — Ashley Jackson

I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me. — J. B. Smoove

What's funny is that an old Web site of mine just had one fake bio, and everyone went crazy for it. So when I made the new Web site, I thought, 'I just need to make this one even more absurd.' — Jarrett J. Krosoczka

It is regrettable that, among the Rights of Man, the right of contradicting oneself has been forgotten. — Charles Baudelaire

But what you could perhaps do with in these days is a word of most sincere sympathy. Your movement is carried internally by so strong a truth and necessity that victory in one form or another cannot elude you for long. — Hjalmar Schacht

Go out, get wasted, bang a bimbo. — Natasha Anders

He is free knows how to keep in his own hands the power to decide. — Salvador De Madariaga

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine. — Mel Gibson

My buddies and I, we all went to law school together, and once we started working in different cities, we all did crazy stuff, and we'd write e-mails to each other about the stuff we would do. And my friends thought my e-mails were really funny and they said, "Dude, why don't you put this up on a Web site. You know people would love to read this." — Tucker Max

Quentin Tarantino is my 15-year-old son's favorite director, and by that I mean no condescension to either Tarantino or my 15-year-old son. — Steve Erickson

Who claims that the heathen's view of the world is incorrect? Life gives you nothing! It is ruled by false gods! Nothing remains true to you but your own self; provided you remain true to it. — Franz Grillparzer

At that point in time, there were three things in life that I knew for certain: (1) I was a girl who'd never met a site she couldn't hack or a code she couldn't break, (2) I had a roundhouse that could put a grown man in the hospital, and (3) I would without question chop off my own hands before I'd come within five feet of a pom-pom — Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Your most vital necessity in this life is that you shall love your wife completely and implicitly and in an entire nakedness of body and spirit ... this that I tell you is my message as far as I've got any. — D.H. Lawrence

I thought it was who I was with or where I was that defined me in some way. I realize now that I decide who I am, no matter the company I keep or the place I am. — Gwendolyn Heasley

A lot of people will say, "what's Facebook's business model?" I always find that a kind of funny question. Our business model is out there, which is: we monetize largely through advertising and a little bit through the gift revenue, the virtual gifts we have on our site. I think those continue to be the most promising avenues going forward. — Sheryl Sandberg

And once an intelligent robot exists, it is only a small step to a robot species - to an intelligent robot that can make evolved copies of itself. — Bill Joy