Simsion Quotes & Sayings

Rosie squeezed my hand very tightly, as though to earn some hand-holding credits, — Graeme Simsion

I could no longer be equated with the Virgin Mary. I had been corrupted. I was like everyone else. My stone-casting credibility had been significantly compromised. — Graeme Simsion

antipathy toward — Graeme Simsion

There's definitely a role for online booksellers, but they can't host events, bring people together, and form a personal relationship in the way a bricks-and-mortar store and its staff can. — Graeme Simsion

Time has been redefined. Previous rules no longer apply. Alcohol is hereby declared mandatory in the Rosie Time Zone. — Graeme Simsion

I watched as Humphrey Bogart's character used beans as a metaphor for the relative unimportance in the wider world of his relationship with Ingrid Bergman's character, and chose logic and decency ahead of his selfish emotional desires. The quandary and resulting decision made for an engrossing film. But this was not what people cried about. They were in love and could not be together. I repeated this statement to myself, trying to force an emotional reaction. I couldn't. I didn't care. I had enough problems of my own. — Graeme Simsion

Then, in this vanishingly small moment in the history of the universe, she took my hand, and held it all the way to the subway. — Graeme Simsion

I accepted that I was wired differently than most people, or, more precisely, that my wiring was toward one end of a spectrum of different human configurations. My innate logical skills were significantly greater than my interpersonal skills. — Graeme Simsion

I diagnosed brain overload and set up a spreadsheet to analyze the situation. — Graeme Simsion

Rationality was returning to deal with the mess that emotions had created. — Graeme Simsion

I took her in the standard jive hold that I had practised on the skeleton, and immediately felt the awkwardness, approaching revulsion, that I feel when forced into intimate contact with another human. — Graeme Simsion

I've sequenced the questions for maximum speed of elimination,' I explained. 'I believe I can eliminate most women in less than forty seconds. Then you can choose the topic of discussion for the remaining time.'
'But then it won't matter,' said Frances. 'I'll have been eliminated.'
'Only as a potential partner. We may still be able to have an interesting discussion.'
'But I'll have been eliminated.'
I nodded. 'Do you smoke?'
'Occasionally,' she said.
I put the questionnaire away. 'Excellent.' I was pleased that my question sequencing was working so well. We could have wasted time talking about ice-cream flavours and make-up only to find that she smoked. Needless to say, smoking was not negotiable. 'No more questions. What would you like to discuss? — Graeme Simsion

I knew so much shit and I still couldn't fix myself. — Graeme Simsion

Instincts that worked in the ancestral environment were not sufficient in a world that regulated playground visits and allowed choices between tofu and pizza. — Graeme Simsion

To the world's most perfect woman. It was lucky my father was not present. Perfect is an absolute that cannot be modified, like unique or pregnant. My love for Rosie was so powerful that it had caused my brain to make a grammatical error. — Graeme Simsion

Rain Man! I had seen the film. I did not identify in any way with Rain Man, who was inarticulate, dependent, and unemployable. A society of Rain Men would be dysfunctional. A society of Don Tillmans would be efficient, safe, and pleasant for all of us. — Graeme Simsion

I have never heard of the Wife Project. But I'm about to. In detail.'
'Of course,' I said. 'But we should time-share it with pizza-consumption and beer-drinking.'
'Of course,' said Rosie — Graeme Simsion

All of us have to make some accommodations and allowances if we are to live with another person. — Graeme Simsion

There was only one bar of that name, in a back street of an inner suburb. I had already modified the day's schedule, cancelling my market trip to catch up on the lost sleep. I would purchase a ready-made dinner instead. I am sometimes accused of being inflexible, but I think this demonstrates an ability to adapt to even the strangest of circumstances. — Graeme Simsion

I am well aware of my incompetence in predicting human reactions. But I would have been prepared to bet on the first word that Rosie would say when she received the information. I was correct by a factor of six. 'Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. — Graeme Simsion

He knew me well enough to know that once an emotion was identified, — Graeme Simsion

You know what my doctor said about that book you've been reading? Give it to someone you hate. — Graeme Simsion

Oh my God,' she said. 'I need a drink.' I was not sure why she was sharing this information with someone she had known for only forty-six minutes. I planned to consume some alcohol myself when I arrived home but saw no reason to inform Julie. — Graeme Simsion

A woman at the rear of the room raised her hand. I was focused on the argument now and made a minor social error, which I quickly corrected. "The fat woman-overweight woman-at the back?" — Graeme Simsion

Research has shown that creativity is enhanced when performing straightforward mechanical tasks such as jogging, cooking, and driving. Unobstructed thinking time is always useful. — Graeme Simsion

Once a week, in order to deal with the demands of living with another person, and to continue to improve my skills in this sphere, I spend an evening in therapy. This is a small joke: my "therapist" is Dave, and I provide reciprocal services to him. Dave is also married, and considering that I am supposedly wired differently, our challenges are surprisingly similar. — Graeme Simsion

I sat beside Rosie, pretending to be her friend. — Graeme Simsion

I set out to write a screenplay but, since my early 20s, had dreamed of writing a novel. — Graeme Simsion

But it appeared that the motivation for the project was a newspaper article titled 'Research Proves Kids Need a Mom and a Dad.' Someone had written the word 'crap' in red beside the article. It was an excellent start. Scientists need to cultivate a suspicious attitude to research. — Graeme Simsion

In Hong Kong, I read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "Love in the Time of Cholera", in which the hero must wait until his seventies before being united with his beloved. In a moment of Melancholy, I inscribed my copy: Angelina, I will love you always. Adam and sent it to her, via Jacinta. It was an unhealthy book for me to have read at that time, and to have then inflicted on Angelina. Just wait long enough and somehow the right people will die. The starts will align, we'll get over ourselves and we'll be together. And in the meantime, what? — Graeme Simsion

I commenced retrieval of vegetables and herbs from the refrigerator. "Let me help," she said. "I can chop something." The implication was that chopping could be done by an inexperienced person unfamiliar with the recipe. After her comment that she was unable to cook even in a life-threatening situation, I had visions of huge chunks of leek and fragments of herbs to fine to sieve out. — Graeme Simsion

Time's up. Excellent work. All the rational solutions came from the aspies. Everyone else was incapacitated by emotion. — Graeme Simsion

I was suddenly angry. I wanted to shake not just Lydia but the whole world of people who do not understand the difference between control of emotion and lack of it, and who make a totally illogical connection between inability to read others' emotions and inability to experience their own. — Graeme Simsion

What must do the hard thing? He who can. — Graeme Simsion

I looked again at the nighttime view of the city - the view I had never seen before even though it had been there all the time. — Graeme Simsion

A few times in my life, I have been manipulated by the sexual power of a woman. "Could you help with my assignment?" I'll do it for you. "I don't know why they've given me middle seat." Take mine. "I thought the trains would still be running." Let me drive your home. No promises, no offers, nothing expected in return. — Graeme Simsion

The sequence was initiated by Gene's insisting I give a lecture on Asperger's syndrome that he had previously agreed to deliver himself. The timing was extremely annoying. The preparation could be time-shared with lunch consumption, on the designated evening I had scheduled ninety-four minutes to clean my bathroom. — Graeme Simsion

Did you get the cup?"
I held it up.
"Is it the right one?" she said.
I am not good at nonverbal communication, but I believe I managed to convey the fact that while I might be a petty thief, I do not make errors of observation. — Graeme Simsion

I could have argued that her wanting to do something for me meant she was ultimately acting in her own interests, but it might provoke more of the 'don't fuck with me' behaviour. — Graeme Simsion

And how could I be sure that other people were not doing the same - playing the game to be accepted but suspecting all the time that they were different? — Graeme Simsion

I began the second half of my life by making coffee. — Graeme Simsion

Watch some kids, watch them play. You'll see they're just little adults, only they don't know all the rules and tricks yet. — Graeme Simsion

So, to add to a momentous day, I corrected a misconception that my family had held for at least fifteen years and came out to them as straight. — Graeme Simsion

Asperger's isn't a fault. It's a variant. It's potentially a major advantage. — Graeme Simsion

I had little contact with people outside academia and had formed my assumptions about the rest of the world primarily from watching films and televisions as a child. I recognised that the characters in 'Lost in Space' and 'Star Trek' were probably not representative of humans in general. — Graeme Simsion

Take notice of your emotions as well as logic. Emotions have their own logic. And try to go with the flow. — Graeme Simsion

Vegetarians and vegans can be incredibly annoying. Gene has a joke: How can you tell if someone is a vegan? Just wait ten minutes and they'll tell you. — Graeme Simsion

As we drank champagne in the lounge, I explained that I had earned special privileges by being particularly vigilant and observant of rules and procedures on previous flights, and by making a substantial number of helpful suggestions regarding check-in procedures, flight scheduling, pilot training, and ways in which security systems might be subverted. I was no longer expected to offer advice, having contributed enough for a lifetime of flying. — Graeme Simsion

Humans often fail to see what is close to them and obvious to others. — Graeme Simsion

Asperger's syndrome is associated with organization, focus, innovative thinking, and rational detachment. — Graeme Simsion

If she's a psychology student, she'll love talking about herself. — Graeme Simsion

It would be unreasonable to give you credit for being incredibly beautiful. — Graeme Simsion

I believe it is the duty of science, of humanity, to discover as much as we can. But I am a physical scientist, not a psychologist. The — Graeme Simsion

Since when do women discuss anything explicitly?" said — Graeme Simsion

As I completed dinner preparation, Rosie set the table - not the conventional dining table in the living room, but a makeshift table on the balcony, created by taking a whiteboard from the kitchen wall and placing it on top of the two big plant pots, from which the dead plants had been removed. A white sheet from the linen cupboard had been added in the role of tablecloth. Silver cutlery - a housewarming gift from my parents that had never been used - and the decorative wineglasses were on the table. She was destroying my apartment! — Graeme Simsion

After the most basic physical requirements are satisfied, human happiness is almost independent of wealth. A meaningful job is far more important. — Graeme Simsion

I never watch sports. Ever. The reasons are obvious - or should be to anyone who values their time. — Graeme Simsion

A lot of romantic comedies are just light romantic dramas, or the comedy comes off second-best. — Graeme Simsion

Restaurants are minefields for the socially inept — Graeme Simsion

we need to be vigilant that emotions do not cripple us. — Graeme Simsion

I feel I've done the 10,000 hours you have to do to get good at something. — Graeme Simsion

The day might come when I had nothing but memories, and the choice of whether to indulge my romantic side and wallow in them, or my cynical side and reflect on the reliability. — Graeme Simsion

Lost love belongs in a three-minute song, pullling back feelings from a time when they came unbidden, recalling the infatuation, the walking on sunshine that cannot last and the pain of its loss, whether through parting or the passage of time, reminding us that we are emotional beings — Graeme Simsion

Unfortunately, their approach was based on the traditional dating paradigm, which I had previously abandoned on the basis that the probability of success did not justify the effort and negative experiences. — Graeme Simsion

I believed I did well. I detected the trick question. I wanted Rosie to like me, and I remembered her passionate statement about men treating women as objects. She was testing to see if I saw her as an object or as a person. Obviously the correct answer was the latter. "I haven't really noticed," I told the most beautiful woman in the world. — Graeme Simsion

You are the world's most perfect woman. All other women are irrelevant. Permanently. No Botox or implants will be required. — Graeme Simsion

Another world, another life, proximate but inaccessible. The elusive . . . Sat-is-fac-tion. — Graeme Simsion

So why the stress?" said Gene. "You have had sex before?"
"Of course," I said. "My doctor is strongly in favor."
"Frontiers of medical science," said Gene.
He was probably making a joke. I think the value of regular sex has been known for some time. I explained further. "It's just adding a second person makes it complicated. — Graeme Simsion

Tickets! Tickets to Disneyland. All problems solved! — Graeme Simsion

The answer came to me as I was boning a quail... — Graeme Simsion

Logically, I should be attractive to a wide range of women. In the animal kingdom, I would succeed in reproducing. However, there is something about me that women find unappealing. I have never found it easy to make friends, and it seems that the deficiencies that caused this problem have also affected my attempts at romantic relationships. — Graeme Simsion

Sex was absolutely not allowed to be scheduled, at least not by explicit discussion, but I had become familiar with the sequence of events likely to precipitate it: a blueberry muffin from Blue Sky Bakery, a triple shot of espresso from Otha's, removal of my shirt, and my impersonation of Gregory Peck in the role of Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird. — Graeme Simsion

I thought you were happy about having a baby.' I was happy in the way that I would be happy if the captain of an aircraft in which I was travelling announced that he had succeeded in restarting one engine after both had failed. Pleased that I would now probably survive, but shocked that the situation had arisen in the first place, and expecting a thorough investigation into the circumstances. — Graeme Simsion

Naturally, the books and research papers described the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome, and I formed a provisional conclusion that most of these were simply variations in human brain function that had been inappropriately medicalized because they did not fit social norms - constructed social norms - that reflected the most common human configurations rather than the full range. — Graeme Simsion

I became aware of applause. It seemed natural. I had been living in the world of romantic comedy and this was the final scene. But it was real. The entire University Club dining room had been watching. I decided to complete the story according to tradition and kissed Rosie. — Graeme Simsion

I was not concerned about the dancing - I was confident that I could draw on my experience from preparing for martial arts competitions, with the supplementary advantage of an optimum intake of alcohol, which for martial arts is not permitted. — Graeme Simsion

A questionnaire! Such an obvious solution. A purpose-built, scientifically valid instrument incorporating current best practice to filter out the time wasters, the disorganised, the ice-cream discriminators, the visual-harassment complainers, the crystal gazers, the horoscope readers, the fashion obsessives, the religious fanatics, the vegans, the sports watchers, the creationists, the smokers, the scientifically illiterate, the homeopaths, leaving, ideally, the perfect partner, or realistically, a manageable shortlist of candidates. — Graeme Simsion

I could not see the speedometer, and was not accustomed to travelling in an open vehicle, but I estimated that we were consistently exceeding the speed limit. Discordant sound, wind, risk of death - I tried to assume the mental state that I used at the dentist. — Graeme Simsion

It may have been due to the effect of the gordo blanco on my cognitive functions, but I was suddenly overwhelmed by an extraordinary feeling - not of satisfaction but of absolute joy. It was the feeling I had in the Museum of Natural History and when I was making cocktails. We started dancing again, and this time I allowed myself to focus on the sensations of my body moving to the beat of the song from my childhood and of Rosie moving to the same rhythm. — Graeme Simsion

Hate causes distress, potentially leading to mental and physical health problems. Adolescents — Graeme Simsion

I met Rosie at the airport. She remained uncomfortable about me purchasing her ticket, so I told her she could pay me back by selecting some Wife Project applicants for me to date.
'Fuck you,' she said.
It seemed we were friends again. — Graeme Simsion

I spend almost two weeks with Dewhurst's Text book of Obstetrics and Gynecology (eight edition) and looking at videos available on the Internet before deciding that these materials needed to be supplemented with practical experience. It was like reading a book on karate - useful to a point, but not sufficient for combat preparation. — Graeme Simsion

Do not mess with this man's threads! — Graeme Simsion

But I had concluded that being myself, with all my intrinsic flaws, was more important than having the thing I wanted most. — Graeme Simsion

It seems hardly possible to analyse such a complex situation involving deceit and supposition of another person's emotional response, and then prepare your own plausible lie, all while someone is waiting for you to reply to a question. Yet that is exactly what people expect you to be able to do. — Graeme Simsion

If you shut yourself down, you're wasting two days of your life that someone is trying to make exciting and productive and fun for you. — Graeme Simsion

If Rosie's mother had known that eye colour was not a reliable indicator of paternity, and organised a DNA test to confirm her suspicions, there would have been no Father Project, no Great Cocktail Night, no New York Adventure, no Reform Don Project - and no Rosie Project. Had it not been for this unscheduled series of events, her daughter and I would not have fallen in love. And I would still be eating lobster every Tuesday night.
Incredible. — Graeme Simsion

And it dawned on me that I had not designed the questionnaire to find a woman I could accept, but to find someone who might accept me. — Graeme Simsion

You want a beer?" she said. A beer! At 3:01 a.m. Ridiculous. "Yes, please. — Graeme Simsion

She continued, "You know, we never use that word. Aspies. We don't want them thinking it's some sort of club." More negative implications from someone who was presumably paid to assist and encourage.
"Like homosexuality?" I asked.
"Touche," said Julie. — Graeme Simsion

In the last eight weeks I had experienced two of the three best times of my adult life, assuming all visits to the Museum of Natural History were treated as one event. They had both been with Rosie. Was there a correlation? It was critical to find out. — Graeme Simsion

On their deathbed, nobody ever wishes they'd spent more time at the office. — Graeme Simsion

By the time Rosie came back, I had performed a brain reboot, an exercise requiring a considerable effort of will. But I was now configured for adaptability. — Graeme Simsion

Our first relationship with a male is with our fathers. It affects how we relate to men forever. — Graeme Simsion

Greetings. My name is Don Tillman and I am a suspected paedophile. I wish to put myself on standby for an assessment. — Graeme Simsion

Correct. The male instinct is to cheat. You need to overcome it.'
'Women accept it as long as you don't embarrass them with it. Look at France. — Graeme Simsion

Nothing would change the fault in my brian that made me unacceptable. — Graeme Simsion

I decided it would be helpful to provide an example, drawing on a story in which emotional behavior would have led to disastrous consequences. "Imagine," I said, "you're hiding in a basement. The enemy is searching for you and your friends. Everyone has to keep totally quiet, but your baby is crying." I did an impression, as Gene would, to make the story more convincing: "Waaaaa." I paused dramatically. "You have a gun. — Graeme Simsion

Most adults with Asperger's syndrome don't know they have it. — Graeme Simsion

It was only later that I realised that I had experienced extended close contact with another human without feeling uncomfortable. I attributed it to my concentration on correctly executing the dance steps. — Graeme Simsion