Simpsons Funny Quotes & Sayings

I've always loved The Simpsons, just because it was really, really funny. As a kid, you love the characters. You know that the dad is dumb and frustrated, and you know that the boy is smarter than everyone else around him and is constantly getting into mischief. — Alex Hirsch

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. — Matt Groening

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff. — Matt Groening

Operator! Give me the number for 911! — Dan Castellaneta

If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair. — Homer

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich. — Matt Groening

Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria. — Homer

Homer no function beer well without. — Homer

The Simpsons are ugly-looking, and they should be. That's what works. That's one of the things that's funny. — Seth MacFarlane

The strong must protect the sweet. — Homer

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. — Homer

I think when 'The Simpsons' first came on, there was an uproar. People got used to it. They realized the show's really funny, it's got a heart, so I think it's pretty safe. — Matt Groening

I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is
and it's me. — Homer

I've always just loved drawing and loved cartoons. Growing up, I loved Disney films, I loved The Simpsons, and I was a big fan of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes and the way that they would have weird fantasy and then down-to-earth funny character comedy. — Alex Hirsch

The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'The Simpsons,' so they know exactly what buttons to push. They know how Bart irritates Homer, and they use these lines against me to tell me that I'm not funny anymore. — Matt Groening

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God. — Homer

On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in the world, and we try to be funny. If we can figure out a way of being funny about it, then we've gone part of the way of accomplishing our task. — Matt Groening

Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow — Homer

Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories. — Matt Groening

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. — Homer

But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman! — Homer