Shortt Quotes & Sayings

Look honey, I ain't buying what you're selling so get out!"
"You prefer to be lying here or in the morgue?! Things got outta hand last night but at least you're alive! If we wanted you dead, don't you think I would have drained you by now, or dragged you outta here! We are trying to help you!"
"And I'm sure Jaws was just trying to help Quint! Get out! — S.L.J. Shortt

My car has wyvern giblets on the inside and fairy douche on the outside, I deserve the big shower! — S.L.J. Shortt

A lot of people are focused on taking over the world or doing the biggest thing and getting the most users. I think part of making a difference and doing something cool is focusing intensely. — Mark Zuckerberg

We're not immortal, we just haven't died yet. — S.L.J. Shortt

Apart from my mangled face and the thirty percent scar tissue that covers my body I'm gorgeous! — S.L.J. Shortt

I don't think that most women have to prove that they're real women. You live long enough, you graduate to being real. — Charles Baxter

So, what's the story?"
"No story. Just a nightmare."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning, heavy compression lines in his cartilage, severe bruising on his kidneys, liver and lower intestines. Fracture marks on his collar bone, tibia, radius, humerus, scapular, femur and every single one of his ribs have been broken. Don't even get me started on the concussive damage to his skull and brain tissue. Twenty-three percent of this boys body is scared for life. And yet, every organ is functioning normally and his neurological activity is above average. He's eighteen years old and he weights about two bills but remove the scar tissue and he'd weigh about a buck-ten. All in all, I say he lived inside a hydraulic car press, went through the Napoleonic wars and was on board the Hindenburg when it went down in flame and yet he's okay ... this boy just refuses to die. — S.L.J. Shortt

God picked me to be his punching bag ... so who am I suposed to pray to for mercy? — S.L.J. Shortt

I admire Pat Shortt as a businessman. Such acumen is unusual for an entertainer. He did all his own deals. I learnt a lot from Pat when I was on the road with him for a year. — Deirdre O'Kane

Cass, I know you're only trying to help but I will stab you in your face. — S.L.J. Shortt

You know, I've been almost kidnapped and killed more times in the last thirty-six hours than anyone in history, and yet here I am trying to help you work through your personal issues and that Claire ... that is why I always get the last cookie, — S.L.J. Shortt

I'm a bit of a clothes hoarder, admittedly. I try to weed out stuff. My girlfriends come over for cheese and wine and go shopping in my wardrobe. They especially love it when they get stuff with a tag still on. — Jennifer Aniston

The president who is most slandered as Hitler will probably prove to be the most zealous advocate of democratic government abroad, the staunchest friend of beleaguered Israel, and the greatest promoter of global individual freedom in our recent memory. — Victor Davis Hanson

Why did Marx and Lenin succeed were Hong and Mahdi failed? Not because socialist humanism was philosophically more sophisticated than Islamic and Christan theology, but rather because Marx and Lenin devoted more attention to understanding the technological and economic realities of their time than to perusing ancient texts and prophetic dreams — Yuval Noah Harari

If you're an impressionistic painter and you want to paint expressionism, you've got to change. You've got to figure out a way to do it and do it. If you've been playing jazz all your life and you want to start to play rock n' roll, blues, then do it. — Tobin Bell

There was no wind, in a human sense; but a steady stertorous breathing from the fir-trees showed that, now as always, there was movement in apparent stagnation. — Thomas Hardy

Yeah, well, Tinkerbell comes near me; she's gettin' both barrels and no clapping! — S.L.J. Shortt

Boy, you are outta line!" Joe yelled.
"I'm outta line?! You're screwing a vampire!"
"You hypocritical little bastard!"
"Yeah, you're a hypocripical-hypocri-hyp-hyp-hyp, I HATE THAT WORD! — S.L.J. Shortt

How does it make sense to remove an option, to tell your enemy before you go into a conflict, that you will not exercise whatever options are necessary in order to achieve victory? — John McCain

It would be a sad thing if the religious and moral convictions upon which the American experiment was founded could now somehow be considered a danger to free society. — Pope John Paul II

So that's why vampires are so pissed off all the time? Because their junk's gone rusty? — S.L.J. Shortt

You're a chain-smoking, alcoholic hyper-violent sociopath with daddy issues!"
"When you say it like that it sounds bad ... — S.L.J. Shortt

I'll tell you what isn't; why'd they only go for you? I mean me and Steve might as well have not even been there. They just wanted you.
Well, can you blame them? I mean, everyone wants a piece of this sweet ass. — S.L.J. Shortt

Twenty highly trained agents versus one eighteen year old high school drop out and he managed to kick all your asses. Okay, did we get really bad at this over night or is this kid really that good?! — S.L.J. Shortt

Freakin' fairies, you're too damn small!"
"Dude, you're a faecist."
"A what?"
"A fae-racist, you're a faecist."
"That's not even a real word!"
"Patten pending, — S.L.J. Shortt

You threw a bomb at me Jerry...frowny face. — S.L.J. Shortt

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! You tried to blow up your guardian angel?!"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time ... — S.L.J. Shortt

Writing is like baking cupcakes, you're trying to make something from the raw. Like with cupcakes it's flour and eggs and stuff, and with books it's ideas and words. The end result is the same though, you want people to eat them up. — Emma Shortt

I finally understood why he was called Mad Rogan. It wasn't because he was insane. It was because he drove you nuts with sheer frustration. We — Ilona Andrews

I write for the same reason I eat chocolate - because it is, undeniably a compulsion. — Emma Shortt

You are the light of the world. You are an instrument of the Divine. You are the greatest miracle in the world. Life is graced by your presence. — Iyanla Vanzant

A radical inner transformation and rise to a new level of consciousness might be the only real hope we have in the current global crisis brought on by the dominance of the Western mechanistic paradigm. — Stanislav Grof

Happy endings are for people that can't survive the alternative. What a bunch of wimps. — S.L.J. Shortt

As countries get wealthier - all of them, together - you're going to have financial assets. That is a good thing. You could argue the assets were traded too much, or that they're too highly valued, or too leveraged. — Jamie Dimon

Well, what do you want me to do? Head butt my way through a few inches of steel?!" she snarled.
"Well, that would certainly earn you a cookie! — S.L.J. Shortt

I think the sense of fairness in humans is very strongly developed, and that's why we react so strongly to all the bonuses received by Wall Street executives. We want to know why they deserve these benefits. — Frans De Waal

You know, one of the tiny little perks that comes from having no parents is that you never have to worry about walking in on them ... you just took that away from me! — S.L.J. Shortt

We're on a tight leash. We gotta do things by the book so no shooting yourself or trying to blow me up this time."
"I thought we agreed that we weren't gonna talk about that anymore. — S.L.J. Shortt

You just kissed me! Why isn't your face melting off? — S.L.J. Shortt