Shonda Quotes & Sayings

Losing yourself does not happen all at once. Losing yourself happens one no at a time. — Shonda Rhimes

Shonda, how do you do it all?
The answer is this: I don't.
Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life....
That is the trade-off.
That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother. You never feel 100 percent okay, you never get your sea legs, you are always a little nauseous. — Shonda Rhimes

Saying what you think and wading into the deep end don't always have a happy ending. Difficult conversations are something of a gamble and you have to be willing to be okay with the outcome. And you have to know going in, where you draw the line.
You have to know when in the conversation you are going to say no.
You have to know when you are going to say, "That doesn't work for me."
You have to know when to say, "I'm done."
You have to know when to say, "This isn't worth it."
"You are worth it."
The more I said what I thought , the more willing to dive into the difficult conversations, the more I was willing to say yes to me, the less I was willing to allow people in my life who left me emptier and unhappier and more insecure than before I saw them.
My friend who asked for all the money isn't the last person I walked away from during the Year of Yes.
No. No that friend was not.
No. — Shonda Rhimes

Being a mother brings us face-to-face with ourselves as children, with our mothers as human beings, with our darkest fears of who we really are. — Shonda Rhimes

This Yes is about giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is a priority from what's good for you over to what makes you feel good. — Shonda Rhimes

Mother is a verb, not a noun. — Shonda Rhimes

Writing for television is completely different from movie scriptwriting. A movie is all about the director's vision, but television is a writer's medium. — Shonda Rhimes

But we all have to acknowledge that our way is not the way. — Shonda Rhimes

Yes, it is hard out there. But hard is relative. I come from a middle-class family, my parents are academics. I was born after the Civil Rights movement, I was a toddler during the women's movement, I live in the United States of America, all of which means I am allowed to own my freedom, my rights, my voice and my uterus. — Shonda Rhimes

You can't tell stories and really walk in someone's shoes and not have a love for them, even if they're doing horrible things. — Shonda Rhimes

the air you are breathing right now is rare air. Appreciate it. And don't be an asshole. — Shonda Rhimes

Everyone always says to me, 'Why aren't there more people of color on television?' I'm like, 'Why don't you ask a bunch of people who aren't putting people of color on television why there aren't more people of color on television?' — Shonda Rhimes

don't apologize for being powerful. They don't — Shonda Rhimes

The best stories are often true ... The narrative of human life is most beautiful when told truthfully and without boundaries. — Shonda Rhimes

People really do not like it when you decide to step off the road and climb the mountain instead. It seems to make even the people who mean well nervous. — Shonda Rhimes

Serena's not worried her friend is gonna feel bad she's not as good at tennis as Serena is. You know why? Because in order to be as good as Serena, you have to decide that your goal is that NO ONE is going to be as good as you are at tennis.
Then you have to make it true. — Shonda Rhimes

Badassery: 1. (noun) the practice of knowing one's own accomplishments and gifts, accepting one's own accomplishments and gifts and celebrating one's own accomplishments and gifts; 2. (noun) the practice of living life with swagger : SWAGGER (noun or verb) a state of being that involves loving oneself, waking up "like this" and not giving a crap what anyone else thinks about you. Term first coined by William Shakespeare. — Shonda Rhimes

Nobody got anything great by playing it safe. — Shonda Rhimes

Every "yes" changes something in me. Every "yes" is a bit more transformative. Every "yes" sparks some new phase of revolution. — Shonda Rhimes

Not a single woman in the room could handle being told, "You're awesome." I couldn't handle being told I am awesome. What in the hell is wrong with us? — Shonda Rhimes

I'm missing my baby's first swim lesson. If I am at my daughter's debut in her school musical, I am missing Sandra Oh's last scene ever being filmed at Grey's Anatomy. If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other. That is the trade-off. That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother. You never feel 100 percent okay, you never get your sea legs, you are always a little nauseous. Something is always lost. Something is always missing. And yet. I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example set for them. — Shonda Rhimes

You know what happens on live TV?
Janet Jackson's Super Bowl Boob happens on live TV. Adele Dazeem happens on live TV. President Al Gore happens on live TV — Shonda Rhimes

in order to move forward you have to stop looking back! — Shonda Cheekes

I felt bolstered by their friendship. By their loyalty. By the idea that I had these amazing friends, these members of my tribe, these gladiators at my back. — Shonda Rhimes

Sometimes the toilet paper does not win. Sometimes a broke woman needs the red wine more. — Shonda Rhimes

Don't apologize. Don't explain. Don't ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. — Shonda Rhimes

The only limit to success is your own imagination. — Shonda Rhimes

They tell you: Follow your dreams. Listen to your spirit. Change the world. Make your mark. Find your inner voice and make it sing. Embrace failure. Dream. Dream and dream big. As a matter of fact, dream and don't stop dreaming until your dream comes true.
I think that's crap.
I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, powerful, engaged people? Are busy doing. — Shonda Rhimes

I don't know if anyone has noticed but I only ever write about one thing: being alone. The fear of being alone, the desire to not be alone, the attempts we make to find our person, to keep our person, to convince our person to not leave us alone, the joy of being with our person and thus no longer alone, the devastation of being left alone. The need to hear the words: You are not alone. — Shonda Rhimes

I think I'm most proud of the fact that I have figured out how to exist as both a creative person and artist, and a businesswoman and manager. Because those two things do not go together. — Shonda Rhimes

Yes to everything scary.
Yes to everything that takes me out of my comfort zone.
Yes to everything that feels like it might be crazy.
Yes to everything that feels out of character.
Yes to everything that feels goofy.
Yes to everything.
Everything.
Say yes.
Yes.
Speak. Speak NOW.
"Yes," I say. "Yes — Shonda Rhimes

One. Word.
NO.
No is a powerful word. To me, it's the single most powerful word in the English language. Said clearly, strongly and with enough frequency and force, it can alter the course of history. — Shonda Rhimes

Mother is not a title. Mother is a verb. It is not who you are. It's what you do. — Shonda Rhimes

I never wanted to have to look at myself in the mirror and say that I didn't try as hard as I could to make these shows work. That I didn't give 100 percent to leave a legacy for my daughters and for all the young women of color out there who wondered what was possible. It irritated me to my core that we live in an era of ignorance great enough that it was still necessary for me to be a role model, but that didn't change the fact that I was one. I — Shonda Rhimes

Marriage is a financial partnership. Marriage has nothing to do with love. Love is a choice we can make every day. — Shonda Rhimes

I don't understand why people don't understand that the world of TV should look like the world outside of TV. — Shonda Rhimes

You never know the biggest day of your life is your biggest day, not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there's not enough time because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days. — Shonda Rhimes

I can experience life or I can give up on it. — Shonda Rhimes

If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand something more. - CRISTINA YANG, GREY'S ANATOMY — Shonda Rhimes

There's a hum that happens inside my head when I hit a certain writing rhythm, a certain speed. When laying track goes from feeling like climbing a mountain on my hands and knees to feeling like flying effortlessly through the air. Like breaking the sound barrier. everything inside me just shifts. I break the writing barrier. And the feeling of laying track changes, transforms, shifts from exertion into exultation. — Shonda Rhimes

We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still. The expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives. — Shonda Rhimes

She's wonderful and soulful. She has a sly sense of humor. I've seen her deliver a funnier joke with a single silent raise of her eyebrow than many stand up comedians. She guards a very sensitive heart. Any human suffering brings her to tears. She's smart. Talk down to her and find yourself mentally slapped. She's an excellent judge of character, and seems to know an original spirit from a forgery every time. Cross boundaries with her...in any improper way and suffer the wrath of a lion. ... She's principled and firm. Rude behavior doesn't materialize in her presence. She's a grown-up who fully sees and knows children as citizens, and people, and souls. And because she respects children, all children seem to respect her. — Shonda Rhimes

Cristina Yang was the walking validation of my dreams. — Shonda Rhimes

You are not alone. The goal is that everyone should get to turn on the TV and see someone who looks like them and loves like them. And just as important, everyone should turn on the TV and see someone who doesn't look like them and love like them. Because perhaps then they will learn from them. Perhaps then they will not isolate them. Marginalize them. Erase them. Perhaps they will even come to recognize themselves in them. Perhaps they will even learn to love them. — Shonda Rhimes

Saying 'no' has gotten me here...'here' sucks. Saying 'yes' might be my way to someplace better. If not a way to someplace better, at least a way to someplace different. — Shonda Rhimes

The goal is that everyone should get to turn on the TV and see someone who looks like them and loves like them. And just as important, everyone should turn on the TV and see someone who doesn't look like them and love like them. Because perhaps then they will learn from them. Perhaps then they will not isolate them. Marginalize them. Erase them. Perhaps they will even come to recognize themselves in them. Perhaps they will even learn to love them.

I think that when you turn on the television and you see love, from anyone, with anyone, to anyone - real love - a service has been done for you. Your heart has somehow been expanded, your mind has somehow grown. Your soul has been opened a little more. You've experienced something. The very idea that love exists, that it is possible, that one can have a "person". . . You are not alone.

Hate diminishes, love expands. — Shonda Rhimes

The Year of Yes, I realize, has become a snowball rolling down a hill. Each yes rolls into the next into the next and the snowball is growing and growing and growing. Every yes changes something in me. Every yes is a bit more transformative. Every yes sparks some new phase of evolution. — Shonda Rhimes

We all spend our lives kicking the crap out of ourselves for not being this way or that way, not having this thing or that thing, not being like this person or that person. — Shonda Rhimes

I am never more sure of myself about a topic than when I have absolutely no experience with it. — Shonda Rhimes

Her toolbox is full. She has learned to not let go of the pieces of herself that she needs in order to be what someone else wants. She's learned not to compromise. She's learned not to settle. She's learned, as difficult as it is, how to be her own sun. — Shonda Rhimes

I'm a doer.
I do.
So. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it. When I say I'm going to do something, I really do it. I throw myself into it and I do. I do my ass off. I do right up to the finish line. No matter what.
No.
Matter.
What. — Shonda Rhimes

It felt so good to write. — Shonda Schilling

Badassery, I'm discovering, is a new level of confidence - in both yourself and those around you. — Shonda Rhimes

It is time to stop standing at the edges of rooms. Hugging the walls. Living in my head. Wishing I had something to say. — Shonda Rhimes

When you sit down to write every day, it becomes easier and easier to tap into that creative space inside your mind. — Shonda Rhimes

Clearly, I'm committed to women's issues and stories and promoting gender equality. I have two incredible role models in Jenji [Kohan] and Shonda [Rhimes]. — Alysia Reiner

Nobody ever asks a man how he gets stuff done. Nobody asks a man how he finds balance. — Shonda Rhimes

I mean that I am going to miss Cristina Yang so much that my heart hurts. — Shonda Rhimes

Making it through the ceiling to the other side was simply a matter of running on a path created by every other woman's footprints. — Shonda Rhimes

Ditch the dream and be a doer. — Shonda Rhimes

And so I exhale. You can see it. If you watch the video, you can see me exhale. You can see the very last instant, the very last moment, the very last breath of my fear. From that exhale forth, I am someone new. Someone comfortable. Someone unafraid. — Shonda Rhimes

Your body is yours. My body is mine. No one's body is up for comment. No matter how small, how large, how curvy, how flat. If you love you, then I love you. — Shonda Rhimes

So when you negate someone's compliment, you are telling them they are wrong. You're telling them they wasted their time. You are questioning their taste and judgment. You — Shonda Rhimes

Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need. He is very dreamy," she says. "But he is not the sun. You are. — Shonda Rhimes

I think it's well-known that I love all things ABC and Shonda Rhimes - I'm a huge 'Scandal' and 'Grey's Anatomy' fan. — Aja Naomi King

This moment right here, me standing up here all brown with my boobs and my Thursday night of network television full of women of color, competitive women, strong women, women who own their bodies and whose lives revolve around their work instead of their men, women who are big dogs, that could only be happening right now. — Shonda Rhimes

There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It's funny that we still think of it that way. Normalize your lives, people. You don't want a baby? Don't have one. I don't want to get married? I won't. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love someone. Don't apologize. Don't explain. Don't ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it. — Shonda Rhimes

Cynicism is a choice. Optimism is a better choice. — Shonda Rhimes

Look, they're wearing light blue gauzy frozen superhero capes because I have told them that Anna is a junior superhero with a black sister and a gay brother- both of whom are off ruling other countries because, y'know, they have jobs. You do your mothering your way. I'll do my mothering mine . — Shonda Rhimes

I'm a black woman every day, and I'm not confused about that. I'm not worried about that. I don't need to have a discussion with you about how I feel as a black woman, because I don't feel disempowered as a black woman. — Shonda Rhimes

Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It's hard work that makes things happen. It's hard work that creates change. — Shonda Rhimes

I never, ever pay attention to the ratings. I stopped paying attention to the ratings somewhere around season two or three of Grey's. It's something I have no control over, so I don't even pay attention. — Shonda Rhimes

Saying yes . . . saying yes is courage. Saying yes is the sun. Saying yes is life. — Shonda Rhimes

Calling a show a 'guilty pleasure' is like saying 'I'm embarrassed to say I watch it but I can't stop.' That's not a compliment. — Shonda Rhimes

Now, I'm no longer looking for the enemy. So I no longer see the enemy. — Shonda Rhimes

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need. — Shonda Rhimes

Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. — Shonda Rhimes

#StopPretendingHashtagsAreTheSameAsDoingSomething — Shonda Rhimes

I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard.
Don't call me lucky.
Call me a badas. — Shonda Rhimes

The only obstacle to your success is your own imagination. — Shonda Rhimes

when you negate someone's compliment, you are telling them they are wrong. You're telling them they wasted their time. You are questioning their taste and judgment. You are insulting them. If someone wants to compliment you, let them. — Shonda Rhimes

I actually like being alone. I spend most evenings reading and taking long baths. — Shonda Rhimes

Cheesecake will always taste like love. — Shonda Rhimes

I grew up with a front-row seat to what a happy, healthy marriage looks like. Never perfect, constantly evolving, always united. — Shonda Rhimes

I was 4 and dictating stories into a tape recorder, and my mom typed them up. — Shonda Rhimes

I really don't think there's a world in which you can do anything with anybody. Because we're in the world of the White House, I think there are certain things you can do, and larger things that can happen, but I don't think you can do anything. — Shonda Rhimes

Volunteer some hours. Focus on something outside yourself. Devote a slice of your energies toward making the world suck less every week. — Shonda Rhimes

I've met Shonda Rhimes a few times, and certainly she's an inspiration for me in television. — Lee Daniels

There are all kinds of ways and reasons that mothers can and should be praised. But for cultivating a sense of invisibility, martyrdom and tirelessly working unnoticed and unsung? Those are not reasons. Praising women for standing in the shadows? Wrong. Where is the greeting card that praises the kinds of mothers I know? Or better yet, the kind of mother I was raised by? I need a card that says: "Happy Mother's Day to the mom who taught me to be strong, to be powerful, to be independent, to be competitive, to be fiercely myself and fight for what I want." Or "Happy Birthday to a mother who taught me to argue when necessary, to raise my voice for my beliefs, to not back down when I know I am right." Or "Mom, thanks for teaching me to kick ass and take names at work. Get well soon." Or simply "Thank you, Mom, for teaching me how to make money and feel good about doing it. Merry Christmas. — Shonda Rhimes

You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. — Shonda Rhimes

There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever. — Shonda Rhimes

Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life. — Shonda Rhimes

Remind me to start a revolution about that later. — Shonda Rhimes

Shonda Rhimes is at the top of television. — Wes Brown

We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it — Shonda Rhimes

Who you are today . . . that's who you are. Be brave. Be amazing. Be worthy. And every single time you get the chance? Stand up in front of people. Let them see you. Speak. Be heard. Go ahead and have the dry mouth. Let your heart beat so, so fast. Watch everything move in slow motion. So what. You what? You pass out, you die, you poop? No. (And this is really the only lesson you'll ever need to know.) — Shonda Rhimes

Standing around like Wonder Woman in the morning can make people think you are more amazing at lunchtime. Crazy. But true. How awesome is that? — Shonda Rhimes

Being a mother is incredibly important. To the naysayers, I growl, do not diminish it by calling it a job. — Shonda Rhimes

To them, it is a journey that has twists, turns, bumps and possibly detours, but no end. There are no exit ramps. And they don't care. They are too busy having fun. — Shonda Rhimes

When the press began asking me for interviews, I freaked out. My instinct is to hide. — Shonda Rhimes