Sexuality Funny Quotes & Sayings

What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off? — Parker S. Huntington

I think it is funny that we were freer about sexuality in the 4th century B.C. It is a little disconcerting. — Angelina Jolie

Only about 3 percent of animal species are monogamous. A couple of penguins, some otters and a few other oddball critters. To these select few it comes natural to mate for life and never look at another member of the opposite sex. Humans are not part of that little club. Like the other 97% of species, humans are not monogamous by nature. We just pretend that we are. — Oliver Markus

It is characteristic of theistic "tolerance" that no one really cares what the people believe in, just so they believe or pretend to believe. — Emma Goldman

She'd lost sight of the person she'd once meant to be, and she wasn't sure she'd ever have the opportunity to find that person again. — Nicholas Sparks

It's probably not easy for a woman to understand what it's like to be a man. Imagine you're starving, and someone puts a huge buffet in front of you. There's delicious, mouth-watering food all around you, and it's really really hard not to eat it all. That's what it's like to be a man around attractive women. The urge to want to hump everything that moves is part of a man's natural programming. It's a deep-seated hunger. To suppress that hunger takes civilization and a lot of willpower. — Oliver Markus

You don't have to be perfect to be awesome. — Katherine Center

I felt like an animal, and animals don't know sin, do they? — Jess C. Scott

Fighting is a lot like making love. Timing is everything. — Miles Watson

Fuck, Christina."
"Yes, fuck Christina. I think she'd like that. — Nenia Campbell

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. — Rodney Dangerfield

Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway.
'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.
'Naturally, you're a male. What you see is what you've got,' I said resentfully.
'Huh?' said Lester. — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

girls
please give your
bodies and your
lives
to
the young men
who
deserve them

besides
there is
no way
I would welcome
the
intolerable
dull
senseless hell
you would bring
me

and
I wish you
luck
in bed
and
out

but not
in
mine

thank
you. — Charles Bukowski

It's a funny thing sensing someone else's sex drive. After a while, you get to mistaking it for your own. — Haruki Murakami

You mean you don't fit characters into a plot? excatly ... — John Geddes

He says black, I say white and we do grey — Lazaro Hernandez

Obviously, your family life is the priority, but there's still other stuff you have to get done in a day. I think the way I make it work is by taking care of myself, and that includes fitness and eating right and all those things, but also by being very organized and punctual. — Cindy Crawford

What is it about Paris that I just can't keep my hands off of you?" I ask him in between kisses.
"It has nothing to do with Paris and everything to do with my raw sexuality, baby. I'm fucking irresistible," he growls just before he shoves his tongue down my throat.
I can't argue with that. — Ella Dominguez

So none of the young men we encountered during our season gave you hot pants for them?
Belinda! Your language.
I've been mingling with Americans. Such fun. So Naughty. — Rhys Bowen

Are we bereft of citizenship because we are mothers, wives and daughters of a mighty people? Have women no country
no interests staked in public weal
no liabilities in common peril
no partnership in a nation's guilt and shame? — Angelina Grimke

Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don't think so though I'm not sure if I'd like to be and argh I don't think there's anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals. — Jess C. Scott

Good-bye, Eros, and all the soldiers on it, the ones who fought for me and the other children, the ones who manipulated us and lied to us for the good of humanity, the ones who conspired to defame me and keep me from returning to Earth, all of you, good and bad, kind and selfish, good-bye to you, I am no longer one of you, neither your pawn nor your savior. — Orson Scott Card

There was something appealing in thinking of a character with a secret life that her author knew nothing about. Slipping off while the author's back was turned, to find love in her own way. Showing up just in time to deliver the next bit of dialogue with an innocent face. — Karen Joy Fowler

I think about and consider God's feelings before the people's or even my own. — Delano Johnson

I will admit to fucking a zucchini when I was in high school. For years I thought I was a vegesexual. — Daryl Gregory

Roc Nation is such an incredible, unique team, especially in the music industry. Everyone genuinely loves and cares about each other. — Rita Ora

For me, a male image that I'm really moved by is somewhere between of Oscar Wilde type of a male: the fop, the long hair, the suits, too witty for his own good, incredibly smart, scathingly funny - all that. But then my other ideal is more like the Buddhist monk - the shaved head, actually someone who sublimates their sexuality. — Madonna Ciccone

The world is full of unrequited love,' I said finally.
'You and Patrick having problems?' Dad said, reaching around to get the butter out of the fridge.
'No, I was just wondering what you would say if I was a lesbian.'
'Come again?' said Lester. 'I'm having a hard time following this conversation. — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Expired condoms are like nuclear waste: there's nothing sensible you can do with it. — Andrew Smith