Seinfeld Funniest Quotes & Sayings

We are warmed by fire, not by the smoke of the fire. We are carried over the sea by a ship, not by the wake of a ship. So too, what we are is to be sought in the invisible depths of our own being, not in our outward reflection in our own acts. We must find our real selves not in the froth stirred up by the impact of our being upon the beings around us, but in our own soul which is the principle of all our acts. — Thomas Merton

Coincidence only carries so far, and then you just have to figure that the universe wants to fuck you up as much as possible — Tom Piccirilli

The funniest part of that joke is, 'say what you will about Hitler'.
-to Ricky Gervais on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee — Jerry Seinfeld

We all spend our lives living beside the people we could have been. — Richard Zimler

Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so. — Mark Twain

If a garden is well maintained and neatly landscaped, there must be a dedicated and efficient gardener. — Mr. Lee

It was like a blackout in reverse. Since around nine o'clock, no lamps could be switched off, no electrical appliances powered down. If you tried to pull out the plug there was an alarming crackling sound and sparks flew between the outlet and the plug, preventing the circuit from being broken. — John Ajvide Lindqvist

I like 'em feisty. Especially with that twangy accent you got going on. I'd give my last UFC check to see you in a pair of Daisy Duke shorts. With those long legs, I bet they'd look amazing. — Kele Moon

My achievements in the field of chess are the result of immense hard work in studying theory ... — Alexander Kotov

It was always a great challenge: how can I make a dreampop album that's still very Alcest, but not a ripoff - how to keep the core. — Neige

In the great city of San Francisco, where I used to live, at 2 in the morning every other Victorian house has somebody who is writing the great American novel. And the city is not loaded with James Joyces or Virginia Woolfs. But entrepreneurship is about distorted views of reality. — Tom Peters

human beings are not single egos but are instead composed of multiple ego states. multiple personality disorder is only a pathological expression of a general condition — Stephen Harrod Buhner

Drinking her away will not bring her back to you, Simon."
"You could be right, dad, but at least I won't be able to feel anything. — Mary A. Wasowski

Some people tiptoe through life to arrive at death safely. — Stevie Kisner

She was only fifteen. At that age embarassment is something you can actually die of. — Helen Oyeyemi

Thank you? Was that like a thanks, but no thanks? Thanks, but I'm watching a movie, leave me alone? — Cora Carmack