Screw Around Quotes & Sayings

Cooper leaned back a little then reached out and tugged at my size too large pink Minnie Mouse sweatshirt. "You really wanted to put an exclamation mark on the no sex thing, huh?"
Balking, I smacked his hand. "Screw you. This is my sexiest outfit. It's frigging Minnie Mouse, Cooper. The chick exudes sex."
Grinning wider now, he played with my hair. "You can't know what I think about you."
"What does that mean? You're so mysterious that a mere mortal like me can't fathom your giant brain?"
"Sums it up pretty well," he said, twirling my hair around his fingers. "You get feisty after a shower. I'll have to remember that. — Bijou Hunter

I pulled in a soft breath. My lungs were starving, crying out for air. I lay still, and a cough tickled at the back of my throat. It always happens when you're hiding, a cough, a sneeze, something. It's stupid. The body decides to screw around with you, even though it knows being quiet is the only way it's going to go on living. — Lilith Saintcrow

Everyone has crap in their background, everyone has things they wish they could undo. But most people don't go around doing their best to screw up their present lives because of it. — Nicholas Sparks

The strongest possible piece of advice I would give any young woman is: Don't screw around, and don't smoke. — Edwina Currie

They're guys who want to screw around all the time, which interests me not at all. God knows we've done that, been there, and we don't want to do that any more. — Lauren Bacall

Meanwhile I am fucking clenching, throbbing, as his words still swirl around my head and make my legs squeeze together. I'm not sure I've ever wanted to screw someone this badly before. — Karina Halle

I missed you," she said softly, her breath against his cheek making his body harden everywhere.
"You too."
"It's terrible to be this infatuated."
"I agree."
"I haven't felt this alive in years."
"Me either."
"Screw the interview," she said breathlessly. "Let's make out."
He saw stars. Literally. Stars. How was this possibly his life? Beautiful women did not show up on the doorsteps of disabled vets and proposition them.
"Are you an alien?" he asked.
"Not that I know of."
"Are we on Candid Camera?"
She took a quick look around the room. "You never know, but my guess is no."
"Is someone paying you a vast sum of money to make me feel like this?"
She bit her lower lip, as if deep in thought. "Not that I recall, but if a million dollars suddenly hits my account, I'll give you half."
"You must be for real. Fine. You win. Let's go make out. — Katy Regnery

I got my tubes tied last fall, at age 45 ... After 33 years or so, I struggled to gain control of my reproductive potential and its power over my destiny. Finally, instead of letting nature continue to screw around with me, at least in this one area I engineered a pre-emptive strike. — Marion Winik

Honey," Bessie's mamma used to say, "politicians and judges and coppers are money-grubbing thieves. They'll screw you, and rob you, and win elections for doing it, but there's no way around them. Smile and pay the sonsabitches off." The — Mary Doria Russell

Basically I just had to say, Screw everyone around me - from now on I'm just gonna play what I think is important to me and our music. So I gave the big finger to all the current trends in technical wizardry, and just went off and did what I felt was best for the songs. — Kirk Hammett

Hey, Tate. Do you just screw in the locker room or do you do blowjobs as well?" Hannah Forrest, queen bee of the mean girls, shouted to my back while I walked to Calculus. Her drones laughed with her. I spun around to face them and held my hand to my heart. "And steal all of your business?" I took the time to enjoy their dumbstruck looks before I twisted on my heel and headed to class. — Penelope Douglas

One time I went to Vancouver to talk to the students there, and they had a party with a real hot rock-type band playing down in the basement. The band was very nice: they had an extra cowbell lying around, and they encouraged me to play it. So I started to play a little bit, and since their music was very rhythmic (and the cowbell is just an accompaniment - you can't screw it up) I really got hot. After the party was over, the guy who organized the party told me that the bandleader said, "Geez! Who was that guy who came down and played on the cowbell! He can really knock out a rhythm on that thing! And by the way, that big shot this party was supposed to be for - you know, he never came down here; I never did see who it was! — Richard Feynman

I was always big. I was kind of around this size, like, since I went into high school. I played rugby and stuff like that. So, people, you know, would screw with me, but I never got into, like, a real fight or anything like that. — Seth Rogen

When I arrived at Oakhill, I didn't think I was that far gone. I didn't think that the screw inside my head was that loose. But it is. And there isn't a screwdriver around anywhere to tighten it. I'm sure I had all my screws when I came here. But this place ...
This place will take things from you.
This place makes the sane people crazy and the slightly crazy people insane.
I start questioning myself.
I start repeating, Is that what happened to me? — Lauren Hammond

And, lastly, there's a small pack of wide-eyed innocents in awe of my Beacon-ness who follow me around expecting me to perform a miracle any minute. Sometimes I screw up my face like I'm trying. Or constipated. — Eliza Crewe

He reached over, took the second cookie, and offered it to Robbins. "Here," he said. "I saw you coveting it." Robbins stared at the cookie, then looked around. "I can't take that," he said. "Sure you can," Szilard said. "I'm not supposed to eat anything here," Robbins said. "So what?" Szilard said. "Screw 'em. It's a ridiculous tradition and you know it. So break it. Take the cookie." Robbins took the cookie and stared at it glumly. "Oh, good God," Szilard said. "Do I have to order you to eat the damn thing?" "It might help," Robbins said. "Fine," Szilard said. "Colonel, I'm giving you a direct order. Eat the fucking cookie." Robbins ate it. The waiter was scandalized. — John Scalzi

Tayla stole a peek at the report. "What's fucked up? The Smurfette?"
"The what?"
"Smurfette." Tayla rolled her eyes. "You've never watched cartoons, have you?"
Wraith came around the corner, his leather duster flapping around his boots. He shot Tay a look drenched with sympathy. "E's way too starched to watch cartoons. That's so not happening to Stewie. He's already digging The Simpsons."
"He's three weeks old!" Tayla gaped at Wraith in outrage.
"Almost four."
Tayla huffed. "Good God. I can't believe you are raising a child. Isn't there some sort of demon equivalent of Child Protective Services ?"
"Hey. I have as much right to screw up a kid as anyone else. — Larissa Ione

New Rule: Since our new national position on science is, "Screw it, we prefer witchcraft," let's not just retire the Space Shuttle Atlantis. Let's drive it to one of the five stupidest States and have the locals beat it with sticks. Putting it in a museum is too dangerous. Someone could steal it, fly it into space and notice we revolve around the sun. — Bill Maher

It's hard for me to be happy because I'm always worried about something going awry or what could happen to screw it up. It's hard for me to sit and look around, going, 'Ah, I'm really happy.' I'm not that kind of person. — Lisa Marie Presley

According to the dictionary, "Islam" means "submission" in Arabic. A Muslim is someone who is submissive to God. Why does he submit? Because his God is the best, the brawniest, the nattiest, but most of all because, if he says anything to the contrary, he will burn in hell until well after the end of the world. The believer is thus encouraged not to screw around with God under penalty of something worse than death for all eternity. — Charb

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun. — David Spade

When we think we can do it all ourselves
fix, save, buy, or date a nice solution
it's hopeless. We're going to screw things up. We're going to get our tentacles wrapped around things and squirt our squiddy ink all over, so that there is even less visibility, and then we're going to squeeze the very life out of everything. — Anne Lamott

Well, looks like you got your wish, Firebrand," I whispered, feeling the heat in my veins rise up, growing hotter by the second. "Screw this waiting around. If we survive this, I swear you will have my full attention from now on."
Her eyes flashed, and I released the hold on my true self, letting Cobalt surge to the surface. My wings unfurled, brushing the countertop, and my talons clicked on the tile floor as I sank down and made myself small, folding my wings tight to my body — Julie Kagawa

It's easier making a smaller film like El Mariachi. There are no budget worries because there is no budget. There is no crew problem because there is no crew. And if you screw up, no one is around to see you screw up
so it's no longer a screw up. — Robert Rodriguez

I don't know much, but this is what I've learned. You'll fall for the last person you ever thought you'd be interested in. That's the tricky part. You might not even notice her at first. And she usually comes around just when you've stopped looking. But if you pay attention, you'll know it's her because she'll stand out from everybody else. She might even scare you. But if you're lucky enough to meet this girl, be smart enough to realize it and try not to screw it up. — Katie Kacvinsky

It's fun to play around ... it's human nature to try to select the right horse ... But for the average person, I'm more of an indexer ... The predictability is so high ... For 10, 15, 20 years you'll be in the 85th percentile of performance. Why would you screw it up? — Charles R. Schwab

There's a gray area between Conservative and Orthodox people, for whom you don't screw around with the mezuzah, you don't mess with the holy melodies. — Rick Moranis

He looked like he always did. Jeans and a black Foo Fighters t-shirt, his hair lay over his forehead and around his ears. I pushed my hand through it.
"It's perfect. It's you."
He grinned, shaking his head.
"Zeke told me to wear leather, lots of it."
"And you're rebelling?" I said through a laugh.
"I'm telling him to subtly screw himself. — Shelly Crane

I liked to screw around in the kitchen when I was a kid. But I started cooking when I was 15. — Michael Mina

The natives knew better than to screw around with Tarzan. He was one bad dude. Lions, rhinos, just him and his knife. Great penthouse and elevator. Wouldnt last long in Brooklyn. Busted for indecent exposure. Me Tarzan you Judge. That is absolutely correct, and you are going to do sixty days. Try dressing as Beau Brummel the next time. Next case! — Hubert Selby Jr.

Screw the idea of inventing monsters. Here, we just had to look around. Pay attention. — Chuck Palahniuk

Here's an important piece of information about me. If I'm looking for just a lay, I'm not going to bring that woman crepes in the morning or fix her window. And I'm sure as hell not going to risk my career to just screw around with a witness. If I'm going to take that risk, it's going to be worth it." His thumb dragged under my lip, causing me to suck in a shallow breath.
"And honey, I have a good feeling, you're worth it. — J. Lynn

Why don't people with money and power realize that when they screw around with the little guy when they don't have to - especially when it's a little guy like me with not a damn thing to lose - sometimes the little guy is just going to get pissed off and stubborn up? — James Anderson

If you are going to focus on a teacher, you have to be focused on the teacher and not peripheral vibrations that might be around them or it will totally screw up your meditation. — Frederick Lenz

You're one of those guys who sit back and wait for the guy to screw up. When she's hurting or lonely, you guys swoop in. Hell, I should tip my hat to you guys. I couldn't do it. I couldn't wait around and watch the woman I wanted be with another guy, waiting until there's a break with them, until she's vulnerable." He mocked him. "Yeah, it must take a special kind of guy to do that. — Tijan

For crying out loud, absurd things can happen, none of us is spared." He reached out and gave her a soft pat on the back. "So screw it, lovey. Enjoy every second you've got and stop moping around." - Intomesee — Maha Erwin

I tell you what, Rory. If you're ready in an hour, I'll buy you an extra-large cup of cocoa before we go out, one before we come home and as many as you want in between." As many as she wanted?
Dear God, she was in heaven, she thought with a content little sigh before something occurred to her and when it did, her eyes narrowed dangerously on him.
"This isn't some sort of sick joke, is it?" she demanded, because really, this was hot cocoa and she didn't screw around when it came to her cocoa. — R.L. Mathewson

We all just live in this giant cycle where we screw things up and hurt people we love, and then we turn around and try to atone for that by fixing other things. And maybe we're all just waiting on our turn for a broken heart and the person who will fix it. — Cora Carmack

Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name. — Erma Bombeck

You've mistaken me for someone else. Do not wait on me, Ms. Lane. Do not construct your world around mine. I'm not that man."
"Screw you, Barrons."
"I'm not that man, either. — Karen Marie Moning

Are we here to screw around, or ask twenty questions about each other?" ~ Samantha — E.R. Pierce

Genius or fool, you don't live in the world alone. You can hide underground or you can build a wall around yourself, but somebody's going to come along and screw up the works. — Haruki Murakami

I'm astonished at how readily a great many people I know, young people, have accepted a reduced economic prospect and limited freedoms in any substantial sense, and basically traded them for being able to screw around online. — Jaron Lanier

You got to harden yourself. Make, like, a shell around you. But not everyone can do it. If they got nothing to hang on to some of them screw up. They're not in the game no more. — Charlie Higson

NO. No no no. I don't want to screw you. I just love you. When did who you want to screw become the whole game? Since when is the person you want to screw the only person you get to love? It's so stupid, Tiny! I mean, Jesus, who even gives a fuck about sex?! People act like it's the most important thing humans do, but come on. How can our sentient fucking lives revolve around something slugs can do. I mean, who you want to screw and whether you screw them? Those are important questions, I guess. But they're not that important. You know what's important? Who would you die for? Who do you wake up at five forty-five in the morning for even though you don't even know why he needs you? Whose drunken nose would you pick?! — John Green

Psalm 111:10. The fear of God. The awe and dread of all that spooky action at a distance. And the Devil was understood to be less an adversary than a particularly evil employee of God. He was that bastard in the Human Resources Department who looks for ways to screw with your life. Satan was real. And he wandered around each day with an eye out for opportunities to tempt ordinary people into sinning. And God allowed it. There was presumably a housing crisis in Heaven or something, and he let Satan roam the earth, tricking people out of their renting privileges in the afterlife. — Warren Ellis

October twenty-second ... " Lee read, trailing off as she reached the year. Her insides went cold. She whirled around, her voice quavering. "What is this? Don't screw with me!"
"What is it?" Nasser asked?
"The date is wrong." He knew it, of course. He had to know.
"How wrong?"
"Seven years wrong!" Lee shrieked. "What is this? Where am I?"
Nasser opened his mouth, but all that came out was a series of stammers. Filo glared at him, then turned to Lee. "You want to know what's happening?"
"Yes," Lee sobbed, nodding feebly. "Please."
"Okay," Filo offered. "What do you know about faeries? — Kaye Thornbrugh

What does NOT work best for anyone, though, is being forced to keep a Windows partition around just to play video games. The best operating system for playing games is the one that lets you keep your word processor, instant messenger, email, and music player open in the background while you play. The worst is the one that will force you to shut all that down just to screw around for a few minutes. — Ryan C. Gordon

Well, I'm sure you know that our country is the only so-called advanced nation that still has a death penalty. And torture chambers. I mean, why screw around? But listen: If anyone here should wind up on a gurney in a lethal-injection facility, maybe the one at Terre Haute, here is what your last words should be: "This will certainly teach me a lesson." If Jesus were alive today, we would kill him with lethal injection. I call that progress. We would have to kill him for the same reason he was killed the first time. His ideas are just too liberal. — Kurt Vonnegut

I'm only sleeping on your couch because my boyfriend of two years decided it would be fun to screw my roommate and I really didn't want to stick around to watch. — Colleen Hoover

If you are planning to work very hard, start working by screwing around! Lounge about at home; fool around in the streets or in the fields! Laziness will fill you with energy! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

You'll find that education's about the only thing lying around loose in this world, and that it's about the only thing a fellow can have as much of as he's willing to haul away. Everything else is screwed down tight and the screw-driver lost. — George Horace Lorimer

How can our sentient fucking lives revolve around something slugs can do. I mean, who you want to screw and whether you screw them? — John Green

You think it doesn't really matter if you screw up this time around because you can just sort it all out in paradise — Caitlin Moran

But there's no substitute for getting smarter faster. And the way you get smarter is to screw around vigorously. Try stuff. See what works. See what fails miserably. Learn. Rinse. Repeat. — Tom Peters

Thanks. Hey, before I go, how's the romance coming with that vampire, what's his name?" "Vlad? I staked him. He was going to cheat on me and break my heart." Sasha shrugged. "I broke his first." Never screw around with a psychic. Especially not murderous ones. — Eve Langlais

But I've always felt very comfortable on stage, even if I screw up. It always felt like a dog, this is my turf, piss around it. While I'm here, nothing else can happen. All I can do is screw up. Otherwise, have a good time. — Keith Richards

Then his hands were around her waist as he lifted her up. The muscles in his arms flexed as he held her.
Wow, didn't realize the man was so strong, didn't know
She licked his throat.
Screw it.
Lora wrapped her legs around his waist. His cock pushed against her, pressing right at the wet entrance to her sex.
She arched toward him just as Kenton slammed deep.
So deep.
She bit her lip to hold back the scream.
Skin to skin. Hot. Slick. So full. — Cynthia Eden

As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office. — Molly Ivins

Screw you, cowboy!" she yelled after him, saying the word exactly as she had before. "And that horse you rode in on."
And - Whoops! - now everyone in the diner had turned to look at them.
Zane turned around to her with amusement on his face. "Very original, princess. — Kimberly Lewis

Just 'cause you love someone doesn't mean you should stick around and screw up their life. — Dean Winchester