Sassy Funny Quotes & Sayings

It's never trouble to do things for people you love. — Irene Hannon

The despicable crone known as Mombi stands accused of high witchery, gross dishonesty, untold crimes against monkeys, outrageous trespassing, and general unpleasantness. Also, she is extremely unattractive. Miss Amy, do you speak for the witch? — Danielle Paige

Instead of needing lots of children, we need high-quality children. — Margaret Mead

Oooo ... He's being a saucy motherfu*ker tonight. He does wrong and I'm the one who gets treated like the whore of Babylon. Fine, he wants a show I'll give him a damn show. — S.K. Logsdon

I just admire a funny, confident, sassy woman and hopefully I'm that person. — Denise Bidot

...and yes that was meant to be interpreted in a sarcastic bubblegum tone complete with clapping and jazz hands. — K.R. Grace

Attraction is a funny thing. Women can be beautiful and still do nothing for me. They can be stereotypically sexy and I will still pass them over. They can look innocent and it won't interest me, have a sassy attitude and I'll be looking elsewhere. I get bored easily and am as fickle as April weather. — Holly Stone

I had grown up. I had learned that being a woman was knowing when to stand firm and when to compromise. I had learned to laugh and weep; I had learned that I was weak as well as strong. I had learned to love. I was no longer a rigid, upright tree that would not flex and bow, even though the gale threatened to snap it in two; I was the willow that bends and shivers and sways, and yet remains strong. — Juliet Marillier

Girlchild ... unfolds a compelling, layered narrative told by a protagonist with a voice so fresh, original, and funny you'll be in awe. This novel rocks ... In Girlchild Tupelo Hassman has created a character you'll never forget. Rory Dawn Hendrix of the Calle has as precocious and endearing a voice as Holden Caulfield of Central Park. When you finish this novel, your sorrow at turning the last page will be eased by your excitement at what this sassy, talented author will do next. — Mameve Medwed

There are people who ... tell you that the light in your heart is a weakness. Don't believe it! It's an old tactic of cruel people to kill kindness in the name of virtue. — John Patrick Shanley

In its more authoritarian forms, religion punishes questioning and rewards gullibility. Faith is not a function of stupidity, but a frequent cause of it. — Wendy Kaminer

You're pretty sassy this morning, son. Is it all about Reingold's rulings?"
"That didn't suck, but I've got me a fascinating, beautiful woman I'm falling for. Falling hard."
"Quick work."
"In the blood. My mama and daddy barely did more than look at each other, and that was that. She's got me, Russ. Right here." He tapped a fist on his heart.
"Surely it's not considerably lower where she's got you?"
"There, too. But, Jesus, Russ, she does it for me. I just think about her, and ... I swear I could look at her for hours. Days."
Brooks let out a half-laugh, edged with a little surprise. "I'm done. I'm gone. — Nora Roberts

The vibration of his cell phone broke his reverie. "Doucette," he answered. "Meet me at the Lamothe House," Sassy replied. "Sassy, I told you I'm not that kind of girl." "Very funny, Mr. Smart Ass. Looks like we have another body." "I'm almost there," Michel said quickly, then hung up. — David Lennon

Who are you?' Gaia gasped.
The girl froze for a moment.
Looked at her. Smiled and said, 'Who am I? I'm the Breeze, bitch! — Michael Grant

If cops were viewed as the enemy, the tenuous balance of power could shift. Laws would be broken out of contempt. Authority wouldn't be acknowledged. Police officers might even be attacked, or worse. — J.A. Konrath

Hold the door for an old man. Old ladies can take care of themselves; they've been doing it long enough. — Perry Brass

Mother, you have my father much offended. — William Shakespeare

Seriously, why was it tradition to stand when the bride came in? It blocked her from seeing her groom, who was the only reason she was there in the first place. — K.R. Grace

All is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. — Anthony De Mello

The school should teach a class on deciphering obscure images in bad photography. Amanda's photos could make up the textbooks. — Jordan Elizabeth Mierek

The views of others reflect not at all upon you unless you allow them to. Their views are colored by their own life experiences: their fears, their loves, their hatreds, their needs, their insecurities. Nothing you can say will ever change their minds. Only they can do that. What better way to show them the error of their ways than to demonstrate to them that the Light that they revere is in every path to spirituality? To lead and instruct by being the best that we can be, always? And that darkness can be found in anyone, in any faith, and that it is not so much to be feared so long as it is in balance with the Light within. Balance is the key. Tolerance is the way. — Madelyn Alt

And there's no synthetic owners manual?" His lips twitched, smile threatening to break into a grin.

A joke. He wasn't funny. "Do you come with an owners' manual, Captain? Because I'd like to study your troubleshooting section."

"Would you like to strip me down to my nuts and bolts, and figure out what makes me tick?"

"I knew what made you tick from the moment we first met. That's why I punched you between the legs."

~ #1001 & Caleb — Pippa DaCosta

Some women nodded, others shook their heads. I would have killed myself before I let one of them move into my house.

Would you Helen? Would you really? — Kristin Hannah

She thinks you're stalking me."
"Why the hell would I do that? I see too much of your ugly mug as it is. — Margaret Watson

I don't even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell. — Shannon L. Alder

When I stand on my special-issue "Intelligent Investor" ladder and peer out over the frenzied crowd, I see very few others doing the same. Many stocks remain overvalued, and speculative excess - both on the upside and on the downside - is embedded in the frenzy around stocks of all stripes. And yes, I am talking about March 2001, not March 2000. — Michael Burry