Sarcastic Humorous Quotes & Sayings

The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo ... -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH) — Shawn Durnin

Men never forget true love. They always remember all the women they couldn't have. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Hey!" Mena exclaimed "Don't knock Jeopardy. I love that show"
"So do I" Max admitted.
"I like it when I know the answers." Logan added.
Trent turned to Logan, "Dude, if you hate the show, all you had to do was say so. — Amanda Kelly

While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believe
that if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well in
my life. — Vann Chow

You may want to reconsider. Cheese sticks will take residency on your ass," I respond with a sarcastic smile, tilting my head to the side. "You would know," she snorts. "Actually, I wouldn't. I don't eat this shit since I see the tons of grease that it fries in every day. But be my guest, I'm sure you wouldn't mind adding to the cottage cheese factory on your thighs. — Ashley Wilcox

Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels. — Candace C. Bowen

We're automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists. Damon — Eleni Papanou

Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a country, he thought despairingly. In Russia you always knew. If a man made a stern face he was threatening; if he was laughing uproariously, he was joking. — George Mikes

Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to smell it. — K. Martin Beckner

My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical. — Tim Heidecker

How many kids are in the Graveyard?"
"A bunch."
"Who sends your supplies?"
"George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget."
"How often do you receive new arrivals?"
"About as often as you beat your wife. — Neal Shusterman

All right, we need a way to get into the palace. Any ideas?"

"Ask nicely? Charge in? Fly? Wait, do you mean reasonable ones? — Noelle Crawford

You're bubbly and approachable.".... "I'm none of those things. The sarcastic wit and humorous charm is a front. I honestly despise people. I like to consider myself as more of a dictator that staff are confident in but scared to approach. — Eden Summers

Some of us are looking at the stars, but all of us are living in the gutter. — Vann Chow

Understandably she had a lot of suitors, just like any other girls in China with two arms and legs. — Vann Chow

Kelly was not going to remove her glasses. No matter what the television said about it being safe to do during the 'totality'. The television also told her she wouldn't age if she bought expensive creams and pills. — Guillermo Del Toro