Quotes & Sayings About Sarcastic

Babe, I hate to break it to you, but you're one messed up mess."
"I know!" I exclaimed before breaking off into a fit of laughter. "I ought to be admitted or put on some serious medication or something. — K.R. Grace

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you. — Barack Obama

I don't fancy myself as a very sarcastic person in real life. — Reggie Lee

Keep trying?
I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky — Ljupka Cvetanova

The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples. — Valerie Solanas

Wes is Wes," Alastair said. "One in every family. I love him, but I think of him as a sarcastic pet. — John Scalzi

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns. — Ambrose Bierce

The little dictator who went to Moscow in his green fatigues to receive a bear hug did not forsake the doctrine of Lenin when he returned to the West and appeared in a two-piece suit. (On Daniel Ortega Saavedra) — Ronald Reagan

The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me. — Ricky Gervais

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already? — Cynthia Heimel

Wait-you mean the Mall, as in a bunch of museums in DC that we would wander around and I'd pretend like I understood modern art while really thinking, holy crap, a gremlin could have painted that and for all we know did, or the mall, as in picking out a new pair of shoes, eating food that's terrible for us, and making up life stories for all the people that pass us?"
'I can see now that I must have meant the second.'
"What a smart boy. — Kiersten White

No, and I don't like mornin' people... or mornin's... or people."
"Wow, I'm a lucky guy to have you, baby."
Sarcastic pig! — L.A. Casey

Sometimes I sound sarcastic when I don't mean to." "Only when you're speaking." Ping patted her shoulder. — D.W. Moneypenny

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? — Charlie Pierce

The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once. — Andre Brie

No need to be sarcastic, Codex.
I think that's sincere, actually.
Wow. — Cassandra Clare

My father was a very unhappy person, very sarcastic, and my mother was very nervous and worried about what people thought. They weren't monsters, but it wasn't a good childhood. — Paula Danziger

Be great or be gone — David Briggs

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation. — Jean Webster

He has inhibited discussion by designating admonition as the method of dealing with a heretic- and the first method, too, because he is not a Christian. This is so that he would not seem to require correction again and again and before two or three witnesses as though he were a Christian. He ought to be corrected for the very reason that he is not to be disputed with. In addition, this is said because a controversy over the Scriptures can, clearly, produce no other effect than help to upset either the stomach or the brain. — Tertullian

He was about as useful in a crisis as a sheep. — Dorothy Eden

She was kind of girl who'd eat all your cashews and leave you with nothing but peanuts and filberts. — Raymond Chandler

I am pretty sarcastic and pretty dry. — Anneliese Van Der Pol

And I'll wager you thought him the handsomest thing that ever you saw in your life."

"I did. And if you stuck him, and stuffed him, and hung him on the wall, I'd be very glad to admire him. But in life he's an arrogant pig, and I didn't care for him at all. 'Mind who you look at, wench.' Foo! — Diane Stanley

I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland. — Eugene McCarthy

You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin. — Joe Orton

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. — David Letterman

Don't take life too seriously. — RuPaul

He's so small, he's a waste of skin. — Fred Allen

Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles. — Jack London

The Animal Farm is a well written book in comprehensive english. George Orwell compares the communist Russian political system trying to make a point that that system was using people that didn't have a critical mind. What Orwell didn't see is that this attitude can be found in all the political systems where is no supervising and rotation of work.We see corruption in every country.Specialy in countries that are ruled by capitalism systems like Britain and America.I can't say that communism system was bad because people had free education and housing and they didn't have to borrow money from the bank. I believe that Orwell has been sarcastic and he was serving his country not the human race. — George Orwell

,I have never visited any city in the world where I was not told that I just missed the golden age. I seem never to be on time. Cyrus Sitema — Gore Vidal

Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels. — Candace C. Bowen

Dad made me laugh a lot. He was a real comedian. He had a real sarcastic sense of humour, he could really make a fool out of people. I have to watch it a little bit, because I caught that habit from him. I was really fond of him. He was my idol. — Julian Lennon

Just because it looks like a leprechaun and talks like a leprechaun, it doesn't mean it can't act like the little fucking demon it is. — N.L. Gervasio

What is it with people wanting to kill me lately? I'm starting to take it personally. — Heather R. Blair

Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them? — Oscar Wilde

Watch it, buster. There's only room for one sarcastic malcontent in this relationship. — Christine Warren

Never mumble some sarcastic shit to somebody who can obviously fuck you up. — Ice-T

You may want to reconsider. Cheese sticks will take residency on your ass," I respond with a sarcastic smile, tilting my head to the side. "You would know," she snorts. "Actually, I wouldn't. I don't eat this shit since I see the tons of grease that it fries in every day. But be my guest, I'm sure you wouldn't mind adding to the cottage cheese factory on your thighs. — Ashley Wilcox

sarcastic. It was a crack at him being old school and set in his ways. The Metro was new — Michael Connelly

The waiter smiled a polite little waiter's smile. He had almost exhausted his polite little waiter repertoire and would soon be slipping into his role of a rather tight-lipped and sarcastic little waiter. — Douglas Adams

PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors. — Ambrose Bierce

I miss your smile. I mean, it's really annoying to hear your sarcastic toneless laugh, but I miss that crooked smile on your face when you do that."
"That's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me this past few months."
"I'm touched."
"Thank God for me."
"Yeah, I didn't tell you where I was touched. — Rea Lidde

Living under capitalism, I like learning to feel comfortable with activity that does not result in success - since non-success is the norm. Trying your best and making it is not the norm - it's propaganda. Of course I play with notions of hype, too ... The entire Comatonse website is a sarcastic hype-engine, sprawling forever, overwhelming the viewer with nothingness. — Terre Thaemlitz

I wish I could say I'm low maintenance, but I like some of the finer things in life ... like a toothbrush. — M.A. George

I watched Master Class with Lorne Michaels on OWN. How can somebody produce a sketch show and talk for an hour and not say something even slightly amusing, or sarcastic, or ironic, or interesting, or informative? 'My mission as a producer is to encourage creativity.' Mission accomplished. — Andy Kindler

I've lived my life devoid of the whole teenage angst for so long, I'm not sure I can handle all this. I'm not built dor it. — Lindsey Ouimet

Father never went into depth about what happened if I woke up, unable to remember how I'd died, but most definitely in the hands of those not selected to have s'mores and sleepovers for all of eternity. — Heather Heffner

Phoebe stared into his blue eyes. "What would you do if you ran away from a wedding in a car that didn't belong to you and discovered a body in the trunk about the time a sheriff's deputy rolled up behind you?" She flung her hand in the air, and assumed a high-pitched, sarcastic tone. "Hi, I'm a rich man's daughter with a dead man in my trunk. Could you help me get him out so I can be on my merry way? — Elle James

I thought I could make a sarcastic joke about it. But it's based on my own struggle with how much to give, how much it's really helping or not, and how foolish or not I feel. Giving sometimes backfires ... — Nicole Holofcener

Seriously, Palta ... " He was honestly puzzled, "I haven't got a clue what you're talking about. What about your ears is supposed to be so bizarre?"
"Um ... You'd have to be blind to miss them," I replied sarcastically. "If you're not, you will be when you poke your eye out on one of them. — M.A. George

Are you from Hapsburg?"
He seemed to think about it for a second or two, then gave a small nod.
"I thought I recognized the accent."
The scowl was back full force. "You are an expert on accents?" He managed to sound sarcastic.
"No. My Uncle Otto was from Hapsburg."
He blinked again, and the scowl wilted around the edges. "You are not German." He sounded very sure.
"My father's family is; from Baden-Baden on the edge of the Black Forest but Uncle Otto was from Hamburg.
"You said only your uncle had the accent."
"By the time I came along, most of the family, except for my grandmother, had been in this country so long there was no accent, but Uncle Otto never lost his."
"He's dead now." Olaf made it half question, half statement.
I nodded.
"How did he die?"
"Grandma Blake says Aunt Gertrude nagged him to death."
His lips twitched. "Women are tyrants if a man allows it." His voice was a touch softer now. — Laurell K. Hamilton

His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with. — Charles Lamb

While [the Arians], like men sprung from a dunghill, truly "spoke from the earth" [Jn. 3:31], the bishops [of Nicea], not having invented their phrases for themselves, but having testimony from their fathers, wrote as they did. For ancient bishops, of the great Rome and our city [i.e., Alexandria, Egypt, where Athanasius was bishop], some 130 years ago, wrote and censured those who said that the Son was a creature and not consubstantial with the Father. — Athanasius Of Alexandria

Mr. Sand, do you think it's possible to fall in love in the space of a single day?"
He smiled. "I wouldn't know. I only fall in love at night. Never lasts beyond breakfast, though. — Tessa Dare

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces. — Mae West

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. — Charles Maurice De Talleyrand

He is mad, bad and dangerous to know. — Lady Caroline Lamb

Usually I just let my songs do the talking. As a matter of fact I have long had an aversion to celebrities endorsing politics, and in some cases even other causes. I wonder about their motives. And I have to admit when celebrities get involved in political campaigns I tend to get a little bit sarcastic about it. — John Fogerty

Well, she thought. Well, well. Here we are, probably for the first time, just talking to each other. Not arguing, not being sarcastic, just talking. It's nice.
It was surprisingly nice. And the strange thing was, she knew Ash thought so, too. They understood each other. Over the table, Ash gave her a barely perceptible nod. — L.J.Smith

I'll never understand ninety-nine percent of humanity. - Enoch — Ransom Riggs

You get a kick out of shocking the pants off me, don't you?" I shook my head with a smirk.

He just shrugged with a playful smile, his eyes momentarily flitting toward my pants before returning to meet my gaze.

"It's an expression," I rolled my eyes. "Don't tell me you aren't familiar with it, Mr. Smarty Pants."

"You have quite a repertoire of 'pants' references, don't you? — M.A. George

I was speechless. Which is, as you know, very rare. — James Patterson

I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork. — Irving Brecher

I can only imagine what goes on in that head of yours ... " he teased. "I assure you I haven't taken up black magic, ritualistic sacrifice, or - "
"Plushophilia?" I tagged on.
"Excuse me? ... " came his half-confused, half-intrigued reaction.
"An obsession with stuffed animals," I clarified. "I mean, you are a young one ... "
"Where did you come up with that?" He kept his hands firmly covering my eyes, but I could hear the amused smile in his voice. "Is that even a real word?"
"I'm a doctor, I know these things," I shrugged. — M.A. George

I can be a very sarcastic person, and sometimes people take every word I say literally. — Sasha Grey

Don't get smart or sarcastic
He snaps back just like elastic
Spare us the theatrics and the verbal gymnastics
We break wise guys just like matchsticks — Elvis Costello

Seems like a lot of my generation as a whole is more concerned with being the cool kid; sarcastic, smug, or just all together impenetrable. So anyway, it's not always comfortable to be like, the dorky, happy girl at the party ... but that's me. — Hayley Williams

Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel like 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost like they feel like they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way. — Aubrey Plaza

At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date. — Edith Massey

My mom was sarcastic about men. She would tell me Adam was the rough draft and Eve was the final product. She was a feminist minister, an earth mom who wore a bra only on Sundays. — Daphne Zuniga

Oscar Wilde always makes me smile - with respect and admiration. His short stories prove that it is possible to be both sarcastic, even cynical, but deeply compassionate. Just seeing the cover of one of Wilde's books in a bookshop makes me smile. — Orhan Pamuk

You are so pure in mind and heart,
In aspect, too, so mild,
I wonder that you ever could
Implant your wife with child. — Martial

His face is livid, gaunt his whole body, his breath is green with gall; his tongue drips poison. — John Quincy Adams

I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's in real womanlike situations, where it's romanticized, I'm a little nervous about it. — Kristen Bell

Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale. — David Letterman

I don't like to walk around with trophies though, so the price goes up if the client wants something to gloat over. — Martyn V. Halm

Brian's face broke out in a wide grin as he slapped Roarke on the back. "That's a woman, isn't it?"
"Delicate as a rose, my Eve. Fragile and quiet natured." He grinned himself when he heard her curse, loud and vicious. "A voice like a flute."
"And you're sloppy in love with her."
"Pitifully. — J.D. Robb

Wen thectaste of my own medicine is given to me results into silent treatment,its not bitter therefore i enjoy the medicine i gave you too. — Mohlalefi J Motsima

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. — George Carlin

He is brilliant - to the top of his boots. — David Lloyd George

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem? — Will Smith

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. — Ashleigh Brilliant

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood. — J.D. Salinger

Hana's voice is completely toneless. I can't tell if she's being sarcastic. But she is lucky, whether she knows it or not.
And there it is: Even though we're standing in the same patch of sun-drenched pavement, we might as well be a hundred thousand miles apart.
You came from different starts and you'll come to different ends : That's an old saying, something Carol used to repeat a lot. I never really understood how true it was until now. — Lauren Oliver

Really?"
"No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember."
"Irony's cleverer, so you're probably being sarcastic. — Jonathan Stroud

Yes, you'd make a great partner for him. What with the embezzling and the adultery and the drinking. That's what every man wants in a wife - a vaguely alcoholic, fornicating thief. — Eleanor Brown

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster. — Earl Long

I don't even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell. — Shannon L. Alder

Rupert: " ... At this rate, somebody is bound to upset the Warlock once too often, and we'll end up with a Court full of bemused looking toads."
"He wouldn't dare use his magic here," said the Champion.
"Don't bet on it," said Rupert. "The High Warlock has all the practicality and self-preservation instincts of a depressed lemming. — Simon R. Green

His son Peter Bucky happily spent time driving Einstein around, and he later wrote down some of his recollections in extensive notebooks. They provide a delightful picture of the mildly eccentric but deeply un-affected Einstein in his later years. Peter tells, for example, of driving in his convertible with Einstein when it suddenly started to rain. Einstein pulled off his hat and put it under his coat. When Peter looked quizzical, Einstein explained: "You see, my hair has withstood water many times before, but I don't know how many times my hat can. — Walter Isaacson

She's good, being gone. — William Shakespeare

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. — Josh Billings

I always get the better when I argue alone. — Oliver Goldsmith

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. — Miles Kington

While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believe
that if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well in
my life. — Vann Chow

He wants to know, "Why would you fuck up Tris's Barbies?" and now I'm like, Shit, is this the price of the sacrifice for Caroline passing out unexpectedly early - that Nick has taken over the melancholy stage that usually follows Caroline's inquisitive one? "I have three sisters and I know that's some serious business, messing with another girl's Barbies." Okay, maybe he's not being melancholy because his sarcastic smile lets me know he's back to being standard-issue band-boy irony creature. Damn him that it somewhat makes me wanna jump his bones. — David Levithan

To live as one likes is plebian the noble man aspires to order and law. — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Hunter's dead," Taylor said without preamble. "It was these . . . these things. They came crawling up out of him and were eating him, oh God, I mean, it was like . . . I mean he was crying and Dekka prayed with him and he tried to fry his own brain just like he did with Harry only I guess it didn't work, I guess he couldn't do it, so Sam . . ." She swallowed. "Anyone have some water?"
"What about Sam?" Astrid demanded.
"He did it for him. Sam. I mean, he . . . Hunter was, you know . . . so Sam." She pantomimed raising her hands, like Sam, like he would do when using his power.
Astrid closed her eyes and crossed herself.
"Rest in peace," Edilio said and crossed himself as well.
"Sam burned the boy?" Howard asked. Then, bitterly sarcastic said, "Yeah, you all pray to Jesus. Because Jesus is really providing a lot of help here. Sounds to me like Sam was the one doing what had to be done. — Michael Grant