Sarcasm At Work Quotes & Sayings

Never trust your colleagues. Work politics are founded by them. — Adhish Mazumder

Stop it, Barry," Joanie said. "Get ahold of yourself. This is just how we work."
I agreed. When she told Shelley I was useless, I heard the smile in her voice and knew she was pretending to be irritated. Really, she wouldn't know what to do without my uselessness, just as I wouldn't know what to do without her complaints. I take it back. It's not that we don't treat each other well; it's just that we're comfortable enough to know that sarcasm and aloofness keep us afloat, and we never have to watch where we step.
"You are both so cold," Barry said that night. — Kaui Hart Hemmings

Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at is worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the noblest work of God. — Mark Twain

Few authors are so interesting as their work - they generally reserve their wit or trenchant sarcasm for their books. — Alec-Tweedie

You really need to work on intonation when you use sarcasm. That way people will know when you're being an asshole. — Samantha Young

He had three
incision sites: one where the microscopic camera had gone in and
two where they'd done the actual work, and the abuse he'd taken
today went straight to her heart. "Oh, Pace."
"I'm guessing that wasn't an 'Oh, Pace, you're so sexy, take me.' — Jill Shalvis

When all else fails ... try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work ... have another. — Timothy Pina

Hard at work on a new one, huh? What's this one called?"
"A Feast of Souls."
"A Feast of Souls," Ben said. "Classy." I slowed, unsure whether or not I had detected a hint of sarcasm in my neighbor's tone. — James Newman

So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient. — Nenia Campbell

I don't want to be here when my latest work of accidental art is discovered. — Becca Fitzpatrick

He wouldn't let her work. You know, he was controlling. Some men are like that.' He gives me a quick sideways smily. 'Really? A controlling man, surely a mythical creature?' I don't think I can squeeze any more sarcasm into my response. — E.L. James

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble. — Terry Pratchett

What does that look like to you?" he said. "A forgery." He shrugged, snorted quietly. "That's right, Heller. We have teams of forgers at work creating phony documents just for you." His sarcasm was subtle. "Now do you see? Starting to recognize your brother's modus operandi? Steal a bunch of money, then, when you realize that you've messed with the wrong guys, do the cowardly thing and run? Wonder where he got that from." "Screw you." I no longer felt bad about making up that story about his cigars. "Oh, believe me, it's the truth. Maybe to Victor Heller's sons that's nothing more than loose change you find under your sofa cushions. But not to me. And certainly not to Allen Granger. — Joseph Finder

If your career doesn't work out, write a book about it. — Marcy Sheiner

Have you tried talking to her?"
"No. We've been punching her in the face repeatedly. What? You don't think that will work? — Cassandra Clare

MacMillian groaned again, and sat up. "Clients?"
"Yeah. You know, people who'll give us money in exchange for work. — Laura Oliva

The poorest paid architect, engineer, general, author, sculptor, painter, lecturer, advocate, legislator, actor, preacher, singer is constructively in heaven when he is at work; and as for the musician with the fiddle-bow in his hand who sits in the midst of a great orchestra with the ebbing and flowing tides of divine sound washing over him
why, certainly, he is at work, if you wish to call it that, but lord, it's a sarcasm just the same. — Mark Twain

Smoke-ccss-b85b07: Tell me about a time when you did something evil. ABlum: oh gee well sometimes i work too hard is that evil? Smoke-ccssb85b07: Sarcasm ignored. ABlum: ok um when i started college, my brother raph pressured me to join the ut austin chapter of his fraternity and i joined, only to discover that fraternities are the stupidest forms of social organization ever invented so, live and learn but at the end of the fall semester, one of my frat brothers offered to pay me to write his final history paper and i did it but i didn't want to get caught, so i read his earlier papers and put a lot of work into imitating his shitty writing which made the paper a d+ at best so he failed the class and i wouldn't give the money back so they made up an honor code violation and kicked me out of the frat and at the time i remember thinking "this has worked out surprisingly well" so, i don't know what you consider "evil" but i'm sure you can find it somewhere in there — Leonard Richardson

Uh, yeah - how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me. — Tahereh Mafi

Intellectual 'work' is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. The poorest paid architect, engineer, general, author, sculptor, painter, lecturer, advocate, legislator, actor, preacher, singer, is constructively in heaven when he is at work; and as for the magician with the fiddle-bow in his hand, who sits in the midst of a great orchestra with the ebbing and flowing tides of divine sound washing over him - why, certainly he is at work, if you wish to call it that, but lord, it's a sarcasm just the same. The law of work does seem utterly unfair - but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash also. — Mark Twain

No one plows the field just by thinking about it. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Irish was a man of parts even if some of them didn't work too well. — Angela Carter

I'm sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to. — Brandon Sanderson

If you are a writer and you write/understand sarcasm please be thankful to the government and the masses.
Without their hard work and supreme idiotism it wouldn't have been possible.
You owe them the brutal sarcasm, they've earned it! — Himmilicious

What are you doing?" Alain asked.
"Starting a fire, of course." Mari held up the thing in her hand. "It's a fire-starter. A really simple device. Haven't you ever seen one?"
Alain shook his head. "Never. That thing seems very complicated. I do not understand how it can work."
"How do you start fires?"
That was a Guild secret. Or was it? The elders had told him that no Mechanic could understand how it worked. What would this Mechanic say if he told her? "I use my mind to channel power to create a place where it is hot, altering the nature of the illusion there," Alain explained, "and then use my mind to put that heat on what I want to burn."
"Oh," Mechanic Mari said. "Is that actually how you visualize the process?"
"That is how it is done," Alain said.
"That's ... interesting." She grinned. "So, instead of making fire by doing something complicated or hard to understand like striking a flint, you just alter the nature of reality. That is a lot simpler. — Jack Campbell

I love having to attend the one class that is being taught by a professor who feels that their class is the only class being taught at the University and gives nothing but busy work. — Heather Chapple

Buy Fable! the book that rejuvenates your soul! makes your belly belly-laugh! turns your cares to dust! ... likewise your moods, woes an wounds! ... turns everything rosy, deflates spleen and bile! pocondria! not just any old work! not just any old words! Fable!
You gotta be categorical. — Louis-Ferdinand Celine

Casting sarcasm ain't easy.. It needs hard work and a big mug of cappuccino! — Himmilicious

Sam gave Captain Suicide a droll stare. How did you die again? Oh wait, I know this. 'I can take 'em. I don't need to wait for reinforcements. I can do it myself.' How'd that work out for you again? — Sherrilyn Kenyon

The Bibbidi Bobbidi Beautiful boutique, the name filled me with dread. — Jessica Fortunato

Did you take lessons in cynical?"
"I did, yes. I was so good at it, I now teach 'How to be a cynical jerk' at the local
community college. I can get you discount rates if you want. Just tell them I sent you."
"And sarcasm?"
"Yep, I have my Masters in sarcasm. I can get you a two-for-one deal if you want."
Will laughed again. "You would seriously charge me to take one of your hypothetical
classes?"
"Hypothetical is an extra charge," I told him, sitting down on a bench seat. "And anyway,
I have to make a living somehow. I'd consider prostitution, but it's against my moral standing to enjoy my work. — N.R. Walker

How do we exorcise one of the Jinn?"
He shrugged. "You got Yellow Pages?"
"Seriously?"
Jai snorted. "Yes, Ari. There are Aissawa Exorcists in the Yellow Pages."
Huffing, Ari walked away from him. "You really need to work on intonation when you use sarcasm. That way people will know when you're being an asshole."
"And you need to work on your gullibility."
"Well, I was under the impression you have no sense of humour so forgive me for believing everything you say."
"Well that should be fun."
"See!" she threw over her shoulder. "No intonation. — Samantha Young

Sarcasm doesn't appear to work on him. If that's true, I'm in trouble: It's my normal mode of communication. — Rick Yancey

I wanted to say, with as much sarcasm as I could put into my voice, "Sir, your poem is both original and interesting, but the part that is interesting is not original, and the part that is original is not interesting." But all I said was, "Not bad, you need to work on it some more. — Helon Habila

How's your first week so far?" Isabele asks.
"Well, let me see," I begin. "Chloe says my penmanship is shit, and I was only thirty minutes early this morning, which apparently means I'm late, but on the bright side, she thinks her non-fat, half-sweet, no-whip soy latte didn't taste right and then she told me she's not paying for it. Other than that, work is just fine. — Maria Malonzo

That's great," Katie said. "Actually, it's revolutionary. If you can work and be in love at the same time, you're the first woman I ever knew that could. Maybe you're the missing link, Amanda."
Maybe you ought to get a job for the 'Ladies Home Journal.' They like simplistic shit like that. — Ellen Gilchrist

I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. And when I started having kids, that doesn't work with kids. Kids don't understand sarcasm, and they certainly don't understand my humor. — Kurt Fuller