Rubbing Off On You Quotes & Sayings

Her dad brought his hands together and popped a knuckle.
"Trevor," Frances said soothingly, rubbing her hand on his back. But she was looking hard at me over her glasses, telling me upstanding citizens did not act this way.
When we were kids, that look from Frances could make Lori and her brother behave, and sometimes even my brothers, but I never seemed to get the message.
"I saw you coming out of the woods," Lori's dad shouted at me. "Together!"
"We weren't rolling in the leaves or anything. Look, no evidence." I put my other hand on Lori's other shoulder and turned her around backward, hoping against hope
she didn't have scratches from the tree on her bare back, or bark on her butt.
"Get your hands off my daughter. — Jennifer Echols

I'm a hard worker, and everything with me is, if I work hard, I should get paid for it. Everything with me, I try to symbolize something flashy like jewelry or a car. The rubbing hands is a symbol of hustling, so it goes back to the money. — Birdman

Nicole's door opened, and she stomped down the hall. "I have something to say," she said, giving him the Slitty Eyes of Death. "You're totally unfair, and if I run away, you shouldn't be surprised." "Don't make me put a computer chip in your ear," Liam answered. "It's not funny! I hate you." "Well, I love you, even if you did ruin my life by turning into a teenager," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Did you study for your test?" "Yes." "Good." He looked at his daughter - so much like Emma, way too pretty. Why weren't there convent schools anymore? Or chastity belts? "Want some supper? I saved your plate." She rolled her eyes with all the melodrama a teenager could muster. "Fine. I may as well become a fat pig since I can't ever go on a date." "That's my girl," he said and, grinning, got up to heat up her dinner. — Kristan Higgins

I slept far more heavily than I had expected or intended, waking when the room was dark.
Surprised that Luke hadn't made a sound, I reached for him and felt a thrill of panic as my hand found nothing but empty space. "Luke!" I scrambled upward, gasping.
"Hey ... " Jack entered the room and turned on the light. "Easy. It's okay, Ella." His voice was soothing and soft. "The baby woke up before you did. I took him to the other room to let you get a little more sleep. We've been watching a game."
"Did he cry?" I asked thickly, rubbing my eyes.
"Only when he realized the Astros were having another first-round play-off flameout. But I told him there's no shame in crying over the Astros. It's how we Houston guys bond."
-Ella & Jack — Lisa Kleypas

If I had a Boy Scout I could make a fire by rubbing his hind legs together. — Robert A. Heinlein

Beauty is but a vain and doubtful good;
A shining gloss that vadeth suddenly;
A flower that dies when first it 'gins to bud;
A brittle that's broken presently;
A doubtful good, a gloss, a glass, a flower,
Lost, vaded, broken, dead within an hour.
And as goods lost are seld or never found,
As vaded gloss no rubbing will refresh,
As flowers dead lie withered on the ground,
As broken glass no cement can redress;
So beauty blemished once, for ever lost,
In spite of physic, painting, pain and cost. — William Shakespeare

In exacting detail, the suit portrayed O'Reilly as a hypersexualized misogynist with a romance novelist's imagination. In one infamous exchange, O'Reilly described taking Mackris on a Caribbean sexcapade. You would basically be in the shower and then I would come in and I'd join you and you would have your back to me and I would take that little loofa thing and kinda' soap up your back ... rub it all over you, get you to relax. ... So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind ... and then I would take the other hand with the falafel [sic] thing and I'd put it on your pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business ... — Anonymous

My forehead hit the table again with a thud. Ow. The words left me in a rush.
"I'm-fucking-the-married-closeted-father-of-my-only-close-friend-in-the-entire-world-and-his-wife-is-going-to-be-here-in-two-weeks."
I heard the hiss as Robin sucked his breath in between his teeth. "Ouch."
"Yeah." I sighed, my forehead rubbing against the table as I nodded miserably. At least he didn't try to deny the idiotic part.
"You know there's absolutely no way that can end well."
"Duh. — Amelia C. Gormley

his hat from his head and presses it to his chest. I walk a few dozen yards from the train, climb the grassy bank, and sit rubbing my — Sara Gruen

Amanda wrestled with him briefly, enjoying the sensation of rubbing along his brawny naked body until his erection rose hot and hard between them. "Very primitive," she said throatily, continuing to squirm until he gave a groaning laugh. — Lisa Kleypas

He used Zane's body to pull himself up and closer, settling between Zane's legs, pushing his hips against Zane's inner thighs, rubbing his hard cock against Zane's with a groan. — Abigail Roux

Take off your damned wrapper! The old buffer ordered, looking intensely at her lower part. Comfort was on her knees, rubbing the old man's dirty feet.
All her plea and tears continually worsen the whole matter.
I want to do you harder cos you gonna be fucked by other folks who needs a large hole, said the man, moving towards her.
Comfort struggled with all her feminine might, but the old masculine but old man ripped her wrapper and slapped her on the face.
Lie here, Lie here! I'm gonna do what your old man did to your mama and its gonna sweet you.
She screamed as the man's organ prick her glory hole like a sharp needle. — Michael Bassey Johnson

When I'm kissing someone, I don't want to feel as though I'm rubbing off all the makeup that's on their face or messing things around. I think natural is better. — Chris Pine

He felt Ty's hand on his arm, rubbing comfortingly. Ty had been unusually tactile since the hospital, making up for Zane's lack of vision by touching him whenever he was able, as if he somehow knew how much it helped. Zane closed his eyes, grateful for it. He covered Ty's hand and squeezed gently. It was easy to think black thoughts when you were stuck in the dark, and Ty's touch helped him resist it. — Abigail Roux

Morpheus puts an arm around me. "You're all right, blossom," he says, his mouth at my ear. "Can you drive?"
I nod and sniffle.
"Good." He scoots back to his seat, then grabs my chin to force me to look at him. "Next time, I expect you to figure a way out. A netherling way."
My tears gather around his hand, smudging his fingers with makeup.
"You didn't leave me," I utter in disbelief. "I thought you would leave me."
He releases my face and looks out the opposite window while rubbing his hand on his jeans to wipe off my mascara. "Nonsense. I stayed for the car." — A.G. Howard

He swallowed, and his voice was a bit rough, but he was "You know, I think moving is key to this whole fucking thing."
"This does t feel good?" Gavin kissed under Jamie's ear while rubbing circles around his nipples with a hard palm.
"What is this, Fucking For Slackers? — K.A. Mitchell

Eat that fuckin' hole," Furi panted, lifting and rubbing his ass against Syn's face. Furi tasted better than the rich dessert they'd just consumed. Full of musk with a hint of his body wash. Syn knew he had to get that tight star to loosen up good so his lover wouldn't experience much discomfort, the same way Furi did for him. Syn didn't want to rush this, he had to calm down, they had all night. He slowed his energetic nipping to slow circles around Furi's — Anonymous

What a blessing to be able to leave the cares of life for a brief period and spend time in the outstretched arms of your Shepherd, rubbing, as it were, your cheek against His face in intimate fellowship through prayer. — Elizabeth George

For the love of mercy, I cannot walk into mediation with a swollen vagina, Cash. Please."
I smile against her thigh, rubbing my scratchy face against the softness of her skin.
"Is that what I'm doing?" Innocence - fuck no. I can't even fake that shit. — Pella Grace

Rubbing salt in my wound won't change what I did. — Rachel Hauck

Contact with the world, with which I have been steadily rubbing shoulders now for fourteen months, makes me feel more and more like returning to my shell. I hate the crowd, the herd. It seems to me always atrociously stupid or vile. — Gustave Flaubert

Hey, Ambs, you have a good day?"
Jake asked as i got in the car.
"actually yeah i did, right up until the very end when some slut hit on me," i answered with a shrug. Jake immediately slapped Liam around the back of the head.
"Ouch, shith, what was that for?" Liam asked, rubbing his head.
"for hitting on my little sister." Jake shrugged.
"How did you know it was me? — Kirsty Moseley

There was a mews in a lane which runs down by one wall of the garden. I lent the ostlers a hand in rubbing down their — Arthur Conan Doyle

Late to bed and early to rise... makes a man sleepy and rubbing this eyes — Shane D. Williams

I just wanted to know what it was like," she said, "in case it was my last chance. I never wanted to take him away from you."

"You didn't. It's not like you tied him down and forced him." Sparrow paused, considering. "You didn't, did you?"

"Practically. But he didn't scream for help, so..."

Sparrow launched the plum. It was close range, and hit Ruby on her collarbone. She said, "Ow!" though it hadn't really hurt. Rubbing at the place of impact, she glared at Sparrow. "Is that it, then? Have you spent your wrath?"

"Yes," said Sparrow, dusting off her palms. "It was one-plum wrath."

"How sad for Feral. He was only worth one plum. Won't he mope when we tell him. — Laini Taylor

My tears gather around his hand, smudging his fingers with makeup.
'You didn't leave me,' I utter in disbelief. 'I thought you would leave me.'
He releases my face and looks out the opposite window while rubbing his hand on his jeans to wipe off my mascara. 'Nonsense. I stayed for the car.'
-Unhinged, pg 127 — A.G. Howard

She swung her legs around his waist and crossed her ankles behind his back. "I like the way your mind works," she panted before losing herself in the sensation of his hardness rubbing against her core. Lief took the few steps across the room to the bed in record time and flung her down on the covers. He leaned back to tear his clothes off. "My mind hardly works at all when you are near." She chuckled leaning back on her elbows, enjoying the view of naked flesh being revealed. She rose up on her knees and traced the ridges on his chest and abdomen. As her fingers trailed down toward his proud shaft, he captured her wrists.

"Be careful." He smiled down at her. "I'm loaded and might go off any minute."

She laughed. "You've been watching too many old Western movies with Harold. — Asa Maria Bradley

My first morning back, and I'm in such a terrific mood that I start the day off right by blasting Nappy Roots in the kitchen while I scarf down some cereal. The loud strains of "Good Day" draw the others from their bedrooms, and Garrett is the first to appear, clad in boxers and rubbing his eyes.

"Morning, Sunshine," he mumbles. "Please tell me you made some coffee."

I point to the counter. "Go nuts."

He pours himself a cup and plops down on one of the stools. "Did cartoon chipmunks dress you this morning?" he grumbles. "You're scarily chipper."

"And you're scarily grumpy. Smile, dude. It's our favorite day of the year, remember? — Elle Kennedy

Gojyo: That no good holy man's been rubbing off on you!
Goku: Me? Like Sanzo?! What a rotten thing to say! — Kazuya Minekura

I'd rather put on a lifejacket lined with razor blades and jump into a pool of rubbing alcohol," she said.
"But--"
"I'd rather jab sharpened pencils into my eyes."
"But --"
"Id' rather eat three-day-old road kill."
"I get it," Mason grumbled.. "You're not trading places."
Bran grinned. "What was your first clue? — Julie Ann Walker

Slowly, slowly pulling up. Or grabbing hold of Debby's arm, vise-like, for an Indian rub and what starts as a joke gets more and more frantic, him rubbing until he draws speckles of blood, his teeth grinding. She could see him getting that same look Runner got when he was around the kids: jacked up and tense. "Dad needs to leave." "Geez, Patty, not even a hi before you toss me out? Come on, let's talk, I got a business proposition for you." "I'm in no position to make a business deal, Runner," she said. "I'm broke." "You're never as broke as you say," he said with a leer, and twisted his baseball cap backward on stringy hair. He'd meant it to sound jokey, but it came out menacing, as if she'd better not be broke if she knew what was good for her. He dumped the girls off him and walked over to her, standing too close as always, beer sweat sticking his longjohn shirt to his chest. "Didn't you just sell the tiller, Patty? Vern Evelee told — Gillian Flynn

I feel you, Syn. I feel you about to explode," Furi groaned against his ear. His hands traveled down to Syn's ass. He pulled him in tight against him, making Syn grind hard inside him. Furi worked his hips from the bottom and Syn had no doubt Furi's prostate was being stimulated. If the noises coming from him weren't evidence enough, the cock trapped between them that had turned to steel definitely was. "You're gonna make me fuckin' come, Syn," Furi rasped out. Furi's cock was trapped between them and the way Furi controlled Syn's hips had his abs rubbing roughly over its length. Syn's orgasm was rising. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes on his lover's beautiful face, especially when Furi took one hand off Syn's ass and made a show of sexily sucking on one finger. "Oh — A.E. Via

He won't stop staring.
"What?" I ask.
"How much do you weigh?"
"Wow. Is that how you talk to every girl you meet? That explains so much."
"I'm about one hundred seventy-five pounds," he says. "Of muscle."
I stare at him. "Would you like an award?"
"Well, well, well," he says, cocking his head, the barest hint of a smile flickering across his face. "Look who's the smart-ass now."
"I think you're rubbing off on me," I say. — Tahereh Mafi

We're lucky Esme thought to add an extra room. No one was planning for Ness-Renesmee."
I frowned at him, my thoughts channeled down a less pleasant path.
"Not you too," I complained.
"Sorry, love. I hear it in their thoughts all the time, you know. It's rubbing off on me.
I sighed. My baby, the sea serpent. Maybe there was no help for it. Well, I wasn't giving in. — Stephenie Meyer

The minute you land in New Orleans, something wet and dark leaps on you and starts humping you like a swamp dog in heat, and the only way to get that aspect of New Orleans off you is to eat it off. That means beignets and crayfish bisque and jambalaya, it means shrimp remoulade, pecan pie, and red beans with rice, it means elegant pompano au papillote, funky file z'herbes, and raw oysters by the dozen, it means grillades for breakfast, a po' boy with chowchow at bedtime, and tubs of gumbo in between. It is not unusual for a visitor to the city to gain fifteen pounds in a week
yet the alternative is a whole lot worse. If you don't eat day and night, if you don't constantly funnel the indigenous flavors into your bloodstream, then the mystery beast will go right on humping you, and you will feel its sordid presence rubbing against you long after you have left town. In fact, like any sex offender, it can leave permanent psychological scars. — Tom Robbins

Matthias appeared in front of them. "We should go soon. We have little more than an hour before sunrise."
"What exactly are you wearing?" Nina asked, staring at the tufted cap and woolly red vest Matthias had put on over his clothes.
"Kaz procured papers for us in case we're stopped in the Ravkan quarter. We're Sven and Catrine Alfsson. Fjerdan defectors seeking asylum at the Ravkan embassy."
It made sense. If they were stopped, there was no way Matthias could pass himself off as Ravkan, but Nina could easily manage Fjerdan.
"Are we married, Matthias?" she said, batting her lashes.
He consulted the papers and frowned. "I believe we're brother and sister."
Jesper ambled over, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Not creepy at all. — Leigh Bardugo

Ruxs felt Green's ass clench around his finger while his cock emptied onto his stomach. "Coming so damn hard for you." Green grunted, rubbing his cock against the dark hairs covering Ruxs' abs. His body jerked several more times while his orgasm had its way with him. Ruxs sucked on Green's collarbone, burying his nose in his neck, breathing in his delicious scent of arousal and sweat. He protested when Green went to roll off of him. "Stay." "We're gonna end up stuck together permanently, if we don't get up and wash." Green chuckled, brushing his own kisses along his jaw. Ruxs moaned, stroking his big hand up and down Green's side. "Permanently sounds good." Green lifted his head so he could look into his eyes. Ruxs stared back. He didn't see regret, only the kindness and handsomeness that was his best friend. "This — A.E. Via

I am life,' the girl said.
'What?' he said, startled.
'To you, I am life. What are you, thirty-eight? Forty? What have you learned? Have you done anything? Look at me, look. I'm life and when you're done with me, some of it rubs off on you. You don't feel so old now, do you? With me here in the squib beside you.'
Nick said, 'I'm thirty-four and I don't feel old. As a matter of fact, sitting here with you makes me feel older, not younger. Nothing is rubbing off.'
'It will,' she said. — Philip K. Dick

Making love. I've cringed every time Hester used those words. So off and awkward and unrelated to what actually goes on between two bodies. You make breakfast, you make time, you make the team. Love? Not so much. But I get it now. Like making fire. Not rubbing two sticks together to pull something out of thin air. More like finally being able, knowing enough, to warm your hands at something you built, stick by stick. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

Judge's eyes slid closed. Michaels was the beautiful one. So beautiful for doing this to him, making him feel so desired. His cock was grabbed from between his legs and pulled back, right into Michaels' hungry mouth. He sucked hard on his thick head while rubbing his hole with the pad of his thumb. Judge's balls were drawing up, his stomach clenched tight and his eyes squeezed shut, preparing for the climax of his life. He didn't know if Michaels sensed it or not but the base of his dick was squeezed tightly and Michaels' mouth popped off. His orgasm had been simmering so close to the surface. — A.E. Via

He was still holding the end of her scarf, rubbing the silk idly between his thumb and fingers. She watched his hand. — Rainbow Rowell

218.The same principle probably explains why dogs, when feeling affectionate, like rubbing against their masters and being rubbed or patted by them, for from the nursing of their puppies, contact with a beloved object has become firmly associated in their minds with the emotion of love. The feeling of affection of a dog towards his master is combined with a strong sense of submission, which is akin to fear. Hence dogs not only lower their bodies and crouch a little as they approach their masters, but sometimes throw themselves on the ground with their bellies upwards. — Charles Darwin

Globalization has considerably accelerated in recent years following the dizzying expansion of communications and transport and the equally stupefying transnational mergers of capital. We must not confuse globalization with "internationalism" though. We know that the human condition is universal, that we share similar passions, fears, needs and dreams, but this has nothing to do with the "rubbing out" of national borders as a result of unrestricted capital movements. One thing is the free movement of peoples, the other of money. — Eduardo Galeano

Nina pulled the pins from her hair, shucked off the blonde wig, and tossed it on the table they'd set in the middle of the tomb. She slumped into a chair, rubbing her fingers along her scalp. "So much better," she said with a happy sigh. But Matthias could not ignore the almost greenish cast to her skin.
She was worse tonight. Either she'd run into trouble with Smeet or she'd simply overexerted herself. And yet, watching her, Matthias felt something in him ease. At least now she looked like Nina again, her brown hair in damp tangles, her eyes half-shut. Was it normal to be fascinated by the way someone slouched? — Leigh Bardugo

The guitar. Rubbing the gentle polish
On Every smooth contour.
On the lap. Knowing every curve
As the light shines from it.

On stage a planned metamorphosis
Takes places as the hours go by and the
Space is transformed to a concert hall.
The energetic nemesis has struck.

The risers are transformed into a stage
And black boxes turned into powerful
Pieces of sound equipment.
The spring is taut.

Backstage while pandemonium
Sweeps the hall and people
Crowd the arena as ants flow to a cake.

The stage is set, the
Instruments tuned and placed.
The musicians work out last minute
Kinks as the lights dim.

An intense force hits the spectators.
Energy is released in every form.
A power rage beyond comprehension. — David Morrell

Thank you, baby," he breathes, covering my upturned face in soft feather-light kisses. I open my eyes and gaze up at him, and he wraps his arms tighter around me.
"Your cheek is pink from the baize," he murmurs, rubbing my face tenderly. "How was that?" His eyes are wide and cautious.
"Teeth-clenchingly good," I mutter. "I like it rough, Christian, and I like it gentle, too. I like that it's with you."
He closes his eyes and hugs me even tighter. — E.L. James

No patience. No kisses. No hugs. Just a tweezers and some rubbing alcohol, and a stinging sensation that never goes away. — A.S. King

As you smell the fragrance of a flower by handing it or the smell of sandalwood by rubbing it against a stone, so you obtain spiritual awakening by constantly thinking of God. — Sarada Devi

What the hell is going on?" Bricker asked with amazement as they watched Victor carry Elvi out. "First Basil's carrying Sherry away, and then Marcus is carting a blubbering Basha off, and now Elvi's sobbing to beat the band and Victor is playing he-man too. Have the women gone crazy or is this an immortal caveman convention?"
Lucian reached out and biffed the younger man in the back of the head.
"Ow," Bricker complained, rubbing the spot. — Lynsay Sands

Overhead the sky was melting, the cracked cream color rubbing off in cogs of brine.
The fields far ahead of me in endless pudding, studded here and there with what had been: homes and houses, hair and heirlooms, habits, hallways, hauntings, hope. — Blake Butler

It's like I'm trying to distract him with something shiny." Cath circled her spoon hand in front of her face, accidentally flicking cottage cheese on her sweater. "He already knows about all this. This is what I look like." She tried to scrape the cottage cheese off without rubbing it in." (pg. 290) — Rainbow Rowell

To win the Kentucky Derby is the goal of every trainer, every hot-walker, every backside person. They may be just rubbing on a horse, or hot-walking a horse, but they wonder if they could win the Kentucky Derby. — Bob Lewis

I can't do nothing for you either, Billy. You know that. None of us can. You got to understand that as soon as a man goes to help somebody, he leaves himself wide open. He has to be cagey, Billy, you should know that as well as anyone. What could I do? I can't fix your stuttering. I can't wipe the razorblade scars off your wrists or the cigarette burns off the back of your hands. I can't give you a new mother. And as far as the nurse riding you like this, rubbing your nose in your weakness till what little dignity you got left is gone and you shrink up to nothing from humiliation, I can't do anything about that, either. — Ken Kesey

You forgive me?" he asked, trailing hot kisses down my neck.
"Yes. But don't do it again. And don't stop kissing me."
"Got it. Let me apologize to you properly. Let me kiss you between the legs." Strong hands cupped my ass, pressing me against his erection. "I wanna lick you, Lena."
"You like doing that, don't you?" I asked, a little amazed. Past boyfriends had not rated the experience highly.
"Fuck yes. I love having you squirming against my face, rubbing your pussy on me. — Kylie Scott

Then a sound came. It was like the grinding of gears on a colossal ship engine. The sound was like mountains of iron scraping and rubbing against each other, forced together by some godlike impulse. Uselessly, I covered my ears. It went on and on, and I felt as though I would never again know peace. My senses were consumed by the light and heat and sound, their power interrupted only by the tactile sensation of my heart pounding against my chest. It will be very difficult for you to really grasp what happened next. I warn you that my description will inevitably fall far from conveying the astonishing sight I witnessed. Nevertheless, I shall endeavor to convey some sense of what happened. — Alec Merta

After September 11th, I never much liked the trend of everyone and his brother wearing the hats and jackets of the NYPD and FDNY. Only the people who do the job should get to wear the hat. Would you wear someone else's Medal of Honor?
Yes, it's a tribute, and sincere tribute is always appropriate for these brave people. But wearing their symbols is also rubbing off a piece of heroism that isn't yours. — Bill Maher

Then they all heard the town clock chime. The goblin put his head to one side as if he was counting. The clock chimed twelve times, and then the goblin giggled. "Twelve o'clock," he said, rubbing his hands together with glee. — Daisy Meadows

Ah baby, you know I do what I want." Rubbing his chin on her hair, he squeezed her hip. "Man and wolf, we both adore you. No way am I letting you go after the hell you've put me through over the years. — Nalini Singh

There are times when any amount of being within the world is like rubbing bare skin against sandpaper, when any form of motion is a kind of abrasion, leaving you raw and pink and vulnerable to the next thing. At these times I prefer to close my eyes and be still, still like the cups or candles or crackers on the table, nerveless and open. I closed my eyes and tried to think of the thing furthest from my situation. — Alexandra Kleeman

When he finished cleaning my open wounds, he found a jar of salve and began rubbing it into the rough parts of my skin. I sort of got lost in the feel of his hands massaging mine. — Richelle Mead

Matheus pressed his fingertips to his forehead, rubbing in overlapping circles. He closed his eyes and exhaled. He wanted to grab Quin and run. Jump in the Jeep and drive until they reached the Panama Canal. — Amy Fecteau

He had become completely mad in his movements; He seemed to be doing everything at the same time. It was a shaking of the head, up and down, sideways; jerky, vigorous hands; quick walking, sitting, crossing the legs, uncrossing, getting up, rubbing the hands, rubbing his fly, hitching his pants, looking up and saying 'Am,' and sudden slitting of the eyes to see everywhere; and all the time he was grabbing me by the ribs and talking, talking — Jack Kerouac

Tact is rubbing out another's mistakes, not rubbing them in. — Marvin J. Ashton

Outcast, it's the best brutal film. Killing a cockroach?? ANd rubbing the cockroach on your face and then to eat it??
Wow, gross... that's really well made effect! — Deyth Banger

So if we're all quarks and electrons ... " he begins.
What?"
We could make love and it would be nothing more than quarks and electrons rubbing together."
Better than that," I say. "Nothing really 'rubs together' in the microscopic world. Matter never really touches other matter, so we could make love without any of our atoms touching at all. Remember that electrons sit on the outside of atoms, repelling other electrons. So we could make love and actually repel each other at the same time. — Scarlett Thomas

I will raise you like my own," I promised the tiny basil pot that day. "I will give you sunlight, I will give you water, I will give you love."
"I will eat your limbs," my girlfriend helpfully added rubbing her belly and licking her lips like a grizzly bear gazing up at a sticky beehive in a tall pine tree. — Neil Pasricha

Then he continues his rant,saying, "And even if I didn't know them, I know their type."
"And what type is that?" she asks,leaning foward in her chair,yearning for confirmation that he gets it,that they are like-minded in their observations of others and the circumspect way they view the world.
"Oh,let's see," he says,rubbing his jaw. "Superficial.Artificial.Sheep.
They're more worried about how they come across to others than who they really are.They exhaust themselves in their pursuit of things that don't really matter. — Emily Giffin

The undeniable feeling that, as you castigate a troll, he's rubbing his Red Dwarf mouse pad against his crotch and sighing, Angry liberal women typing at me. Oh yah. That's how I like it. — Caitlin Moran