Ron Swanson Local Government Quotes & Sayings

The web is just a device by which bad ideas travel around the globe at the speed of light. — P. J. O'Rourke

Max is going through my overnight bag when I get back to Wink Hotel. My favorite part about this is that he doesn't stop when I walk in the room.
"Hey," he says. He pulls out my black Hugo Boss dress hirt, then holds it up to his nose and sniffs loudly.
"Dude. Stop." I pull the shirt from his hands and toss it on the bed.
"I just love your scent," he says in a chick voice.
"You and everyone else, my friend. — Victoria Scott

Here's a proposal, offered only partly in jest: no resident of the United States, whether born here or abroad, should get to be a citizen until age 18, at which time each such resident has to take a test. — Eric Liu

Advertising tries to stimulate our sensuous desires, converting luxuries into necessities, but it only intensifies man's inner misery. The business world is bent on creating hungers which its wares never satisfy, and thus it adds to the frustrations and broken minds of our times. — Fulton J. Sheen

On your death bed, you will not wish you had been more comfortable, or that you had found an even easier, softer pleasure zone to hide out in. You will wish you had ventured out more. That you had spoken up more. Tried some things. Reinvented yourself one more time. — Steve Chandler

Laughter distances us from that which is ugly and therefore potentially distressing, and indeed enables us to obtain paradoxical pleasure and therapeutic benefit from it. — Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra

There is joy
in all:
in the hair I brush each morning,
in the Cannon towel, newly washed,
that I rub my body with each morning ... — Anne Sexton

Humour is a manifestation of freedom. It is because there is freedom that there is smile. — John Fowles

Americans have not had a presidential choice since 1932. Roosevelt was our man; every president since Roosevelt has been our man. — Harold Wallace Rosenthal

Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable. — Leo Rosten

Dura est manus cirurgi, sed sanans. The hand of the surgeon is hard, but healing. — Walter Map

I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it 'till he hit the ground. Oh, he flew off that tower, hollering at his buddies. "Whoo, check me out, dudes! Oh, that ground is coming up ... " WHAM! And what do you say, if you're the operator of that ride, to the next guy in line? "All right dude, you're up." — Bill Engvall

Don't fear death, fear the un-lived life — Natalie Babbitt

If thy predicates are anthropomorphisms, the subject is an anthropomorphism too. — Ludwig Feuerbach