Roarke Humor Quotes & Sayings

It has been my experience that presence is a more powerful catalyst for change than analysis. — Rachel Naomi Remen

Assaulting an officer will earn you one to five, Roarke. That's in a cage, not cushy home detention."
"You're not wearing your badge. Or anything else, for that matter." He gave her a friendly nip on the chin. "Be sure to put that in your report. — J.D. Robb

The wife's gotta know. You can't hook up like that for what looks like about six or seven years without the wife figuring it out. Unless she's another idiot.
"I'm not an idiot."

Smiling, Roarke continued to stroke. "I'll keep that in mind when I decide to have a long-term affair."
"Yeah, you do that. They'll never find your body," she murmured, then dropped into sleep.

His smiled warmed, and feeling well loved, he dropped off with her. — J.D. Robb

You're still carrying Africa, but it's eroding at the edges.
Great. We're destroying the Dark Continent. — J.D. Robb

Where's the hooch - for Dickhead?"
"Fourth-floor gift room."
She stared at him for ten silent seconds. "We have a gift room?"
On a half laugh, he shook his head. "One day, darling Eve, you really should go through the entire house. East wing, fourth-floor tower."
"Okay." Since she wasn't completely sure where that was, she walked to the elevator. — J.D. Robb

When you're growing up you need your parents, but you don't want to be associated with them because you're trying to have your own life. — Rick Nielsen

I keep thinking, well, this'll settle down. It's bound to level off and settle down. But it doesn't. Even when things are just going smooth and we're just ... living, I can look at you, and I've got no breath left."
"Every minute with you, I'm alive. I never knew before there were pieces of me unborn, just waiting for you. I'm alive with you, Eve"
She sighted, touched his cheek. "We'd better get out of here. We're getting mush all over the pool. — J.D. Robb

Eve, did you marry me for my money?"
"You bet your ass. And you'd better hold on to it, or I'm history"
"It's very sweet of you to say so. — J.D. Robb

I like your style, Lieutenant Dallas," he said when they'd fought their way to the car. "I like it a lot. And by the way, I don't think I'm in love with you anymore. I know I am."-Roarke — J.D. Robb

He may have gotten spanked by a barbecue grill, but on a desk unit, he was a king. — J.D. Robb

No way that was a act. She really is that gullible. She really is dumb as a sack of moondust."
"Yet very sweet."
Eve rolled her eyes toward him. "I think you have to have a penis to get that impression. — J.D. Robb

Okay. Look, why don't you take care of the half a million things you've been letting dangle in Roarke's Empire of Everything?"
"Catchy title. I may use it one day. — J.D. Robb

The security officer smiled and said, 'Good afternoon, ma'am,' to me before I
gave him ID."
"It's a sick world, Eve." He resisted taking her hand for another squeeze. "A sick,
sad world. — J.D. Robb

I'd suggest putting your head between your knees, but I think that's physically impossible for you at the moment. — J.D. Robb

When she brought Mira up, Eve gave Roarke another glance. "Don't talk to him," she warned. "He can get bitchy when he's in this deep. I don't know if we have any of that tea stuff."
"I had it stocked, and I don't get bitchy. Bloody, buggering HELL."
Eve just rolled her eyes and got the tea. — J.D. Robb

(Eve)"Hold on. You have to give them a gift for moving?"
"Uh-huh. Plus they're shacking, so it should be a couple thing." She (Mavis) ate another canape, fed on to Leonardo.
"Why does there have to be a gift for every damn thing?" Eve complained.
"Retail conspiracy." Roarke patter her knee.
"I bet it is," Eve said darkly. "I just bet it is. — J.D. Robb

Rub It In {Couplet}
You were right, I was wrong;
how often will you repeat this song? — Beryl Dov

She set the tray down on the table in the sitting area
which instantly perked up Galahad's ears.
Roarke simply pointed a warning finger that had the cat shooting up a leg to wash as if a morning ablution had been his only intention. — J.D. Robb

An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. — Anatole France

My path is about Joy. — Esther Hicks

You're a dead man, Roarke. You don't know it, but you've already stopped breathing. The walking dead. And when you finally realize you're dead, and drop to the ground and you're laying there, I'm going to step over your cold, lifeless body, open the doors of that department store you call a closet, and I torch it.
Eve Dallas — J.D. Robb

Unless i'm reading an assignment or doing a paper or taking a test, i'm thinking about you. — V.C. Andrews

I can't tell you how aroused it makes me when you quote codes, lieutenant. — J.D. Robb

What time is it in New York?"
He shook his head. "An hour later than it is here. The earth simply has to revolve, Eve, however annoying it is for you."
"It can revolve all it wants. I just don't see why people can't settle on the same time. — J.D. Robb

Brian's face broke out in a wide grin as he slapped Roarke on the back. "That's a woman, isn't it?"
"Delicate as a rose, my Eve. Fragile and quiet natured." He grinned himself when he heard her curse, loud and vicious. "A voice like a flute."
"And you're sloppy in love with her."
"Pitifully. — J.D. Robb

Conduct is the grand test of character. Words are one great evidence of the condition of the heart. — J.C. Ryle

Eve: "If you ended up naked and dead with another woman, I'd do the Rumba on your corpse."
Roarke: "You can't do the Rumba."
Eve: "I'd take lessons first."
Roarke: "You might very well. Not that you'll ever get the chance, but you'd also grieve."
Eve: "Wouldn't give you the satisfaction. You cheating f-wit putz. "
Roarke: "You'd weep in the dark and call my name."
Eve: "Call your name alright. How are things in hell? You dickless bastard. And I'd laugh and laugh, that's how I'd call your name."
Roarke: "Christ Jesus Eve, I love you."
Eve, Roarke — J.D. Robb

Eyes on hers, he flicked her shoulder. Her mouth fell open.
She started stomping the floor.
"What in God's name are you doing?" he demanded.
"Trying to kill the giant tarantula, because the only reason I can figure you just fucking flicked me is because there was a big, fat spider on my shoulder. — J.D. Robb

[Feeney] "Nearly blew ourselves up about an hour ago, right, Roarke?"
Roarke rose and tucked his hands in his pockets. "I never doubted you for an instant Captain."
"Like hell." In tune with his man, Feeney grinned. "If you weren't saying your prayers, boyo, I was saying mine. Still, I can't think of many others I'd be pleased to be blown to hell with."
"The feeling's nearly mutual."
"If you two have finished your little male bonding dance, would you care to explain what the hell I'm supposed to be looking at here?" [Eve] — J.D. Robb

Eve-"In the name of all that is holy ... It's 2060, not 1760. Can't they figure out a better way to handle this process?"
Roarke-"Amen — J.D. Robb

Roarke pointed a finger at Galahad who'd begun his crouch toward the berries. The cat turned his head toward the screen as if suddenly enraptured by the financial new. — J.D. Robb

Peabody, with me."
She waited until they were back in her office. "Don't hover over McNab like that."
"Sir?"
"You hover over him, you're going to make him think you're worried."
"I am worried. The twenty-four-"
"Worry all you want, dump on me if you need to. But don't let him see it. He's starting to fray, and he's trying hard not to show it. You try just as hard not to show it. If you need to vent, go out there on the kitchen terrace. Scream your lungs out."
"Is that what you do?"
"Sometimes. Sometimes I kick inanimate objects. Sometimes I jump Roarke and have jungle sex. The last," she said after a beat, "is not an option for you."
"But I think it would really make me feel better, and be a more productive member of the investigative team."
"Good, humor is good. Get me coffee. — J.D. Robb

Two different primaries," she continued, striding around the office. "Two different cops, and both of them fucked up the case. What are they using to train them in Chicago
old videos of the Three Boobs?"
"I think that's Stooges," Roarke remarked.
"What?"
He glanced up, focused fully on her, and smiled at the absolute baffled fury on her face. "Stooges, darling. The Three Stooges."
"What's the difference, they're still incompetent knot-heads. — J.D. Robb

It is an old observation that the best writers sometimes disregard the rules of rhetoric. When they do so, however, the reader will usually find in the sentence some compensating merit, attained at the cost of the violation. Unless he is certain of doing as well, he will probably do best to follow the rules. After he has learned, by their guidance, to write plain English adequate for everyday uses, let him look, for the secrets of style, to the study of the masters of literature. — William Strunk Jr.

Churches need to realize that they are houses OF God - and that they are NOT God. — Christina Engela

Eve "I shopped,"she said
Roarke "Dear God! Are you all right? Should I call for the MTs?"
Eve "Smartass. — J.D. Robb