Riotously Funny Quotes & Sayings

Awakening the mystical kundalini prematurely is dangerous, because unless you have refined your being, you'll get all screwed up, entities, weird powers ... strange things. That is why I don't teach anyone how to open up the chakras. — Frederick Lenz

I did 'Love's Labour's Lost' in the theater and found it to be riotously funny. — Kenneth Branagh

No authentic Messiah would inspire a religion that ended up calling upon the Jews to reject the manifest meaning of Sinai. It is really that simple. — David Klinghoffer

I divide all readers into two classes: those who read to remember and those who read to forget. — William Lyon Phelps

The wind kind of pushed the penis toward my mouth first." "OH MY GOSH, FAYE!" "I know! I know! This is why people shouldn't go out on windy days. The penises are on rampage on the windy days." "I cannot believe you right now. He's like twice your age." "What can I say? I have daddy issues." "What are you talking about? Your dad's amazing," I said. — Brittainy C. Cherry

I took LSD and listened to Coltrane a lot; a lot of people did. — Sam Andrew

Uniqueness is what makes you the most beautiful. — Lea Michele

I opposed No Child Left Behind, I opposed the Medicare prescription drug bill, I opposed the Wall Street bailout. What the American people are starting to see is that Republican, Republicans on Capitol Hill get it and the Democrats, from the White House to Capitol Hill, just don't get it. — Mike Pence

Sexual appetite, like any other appetite, grows by indulgence — C.S. Lewis

The great thing about Eminem is, he's just hysterical. You forget, people like Eminem because he is riotously funny. And he's a great actor. — Judd Apatow

But years hath done this wrong, To make me write too much, and live too long. — Samuel Daniel

I tend to look at the world more from Voltaire's perspective. Incidentally, if you haven't read Candide lately, it's a fabulous book. It's riotously, laugh-out-loud funny in a way that no Shakespeare comedy will ever be. — George Meyer

When women and men have approximately equal life expectancies, it seems to be because women die not only in childbirth (fewer than thought) but about equal from ... diseases; poor sanitation and water; inadequate healthcare; and diseases of malnutrition. In industrialized societies, early deaths are caused more by diseases triggered by stress, which breaks down the immune system. It is since stress has become the key factor that men have died so much sooner than women. — Warren Farrell