Retarded Quotes & Sayings

Though the profusion of Government must undoubtedly have retarded the natural progress of England to wealth and improvement, it has not been able to stop it. — Adam Smith

We're just musically and rhythmically retarded. We play so hard that we can't tune our guitars fast enough. People can relate to that. — Kurt Cobain

Certain things not only can't be taught but can be retarded by other stuff that can be taught. — David Foster Wallace

It was because all we wanted was each other's constant love and attention and for no one else to receive that love and attention, which is a selfish and difficult place to be in a relationship. We were emotionally retarded, and that was the best we could do at the time. — Anthony Kiedis

I am one of those who believe that spiritual progress is a rule of human life, but the approach to perfection is slow and painful. If a woman elevates herself in one respect and is retarded in another, it is because the rough trail that leads to the mountain peak is not free of ambushes of thieves and lairs of wolves. — Khalil Gibran

I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand. — Leonardo DiCaprio

The attempt of Lavoisier to reform chemical nomenclature is premature. One single experiment may destroy the whole filiation of his terms; and his string of sulphates, sulphites, and sulphures, may have served no end than to have retarded the progress of science by a jargon, from the confusion of which time will be requisite to extricate us. — Thomas Jefferson

Perhaps the chief cause which has retarded the progress of poetry in America, is the want of that exclusive cultivation, which so noble a branch of literature would seem to require. Few here think of relying upon the exertion of poetic talent for a livelihood, and of making literature the profession of life. The bar or the pulpit claims the greater part of the scholar's existence, and poetry is made its pastime. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

They're so retarded they think stereotype means typing with both hands. — Poppet

Our purpose is to be able to measure the intellectual capacity of a child who is brought to us in order to know whether he is normal or retarded ... We do not attempt to establish or prepare a prognosis and we leave unanswered the question of whether this retardation is curable, or even improveable. We shall limit ourselves to ascertaining the truth in regard to his present mental state. — Alfred Binet

It's cool because you get to see that some of these women are there because they should be. They're actually not good people to be in society. And then, other people are there because they just made a really retarded mistake. — Laura Prepon

Football is a game for trained apes. That, in fact, is what most of the players are
retarded gorillas wearing helmets and uniforms. The only thing more debased is the surrounding mob of drunken monkeys howling the gorillas on. — Edward Abbey

Is America ready for a black president? Well, I say we just had a retarded one. When did being black become a bigger deterrent than being retarded? — Chris Rock

One time she threw a dinner plate at his head and called him retarded. Then he held her down in the shower, calling her a hot-head. — Stylo Fantome

Bobby Kennedy and Nelson Rockefeller are having a row, ostensibly over the plight of New York's mentally retarded, a loose definition of which would include everyone in New York who voted for Bobby Kennedy or Nelson Rockefeller. — William F. Buckley Jr.

I've never recognized 'emo' as a genre of music. I always thought it was the most retarded term ever. I know there is this generic commonplace that every band that gets labeled with that term hates it. They feel scandalized by it. But honestly, I just thought that all the bands I played in were punk rock bands. The reason I think it's so stupid is that - what, like the Bad Brains weren't emotional? What - they were robots or something? It just doesn't make any sense to me. — Guy Picciotto

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species. — Warren Ellis

My intellectual achievement was retarded when I went to high school. I sort of sank into a black hole because I had to go to the high-achieving, academic public high school. — Noam Chomsky

I'm just an innocent racist who likes to flirt with young adult women And I meet emotionally retarded misfits who are kinky about infants' feet, scheming psychopaths, suicidal emos, brain dead skinheads and mestizos posing as white supremacists. — Greg Deane

The "experts" mostly never get it right. They assume we are some autistic, retarded stim-machine, not a trapped, thinking person who has a shitty neurological illness. They need to limit our behaviors and stop the impulsive acts, I know. Still, it would be so nice if they realized how intact our minds were. — Ido Kedar

So all hyperintelligent people would be retarded in some other way. — Anonymous

Antiessentialist thinking forces us to view the world differently. We must accept shadings and continua as fundamental. We lose criteria for judgment by comparison to some ideal: short people, retarded people, people of other beliefs, colors, and religions are people of full status. — Stephen Jay Gould

My parents were told by the principal of West Barnstable Elementary School and my teacher that I was a bright boy whose spelling was in the retarded range and whose handwriting was the worst they'd ever seen. I find it embarrassing that I spell so badly. I will do almost anything to avoid being embarrassed, but no effort either on my part or on the part of any teacher has ever dented my utter bafflement when it comes to choosing which letters to put down, how many, and in what order. — Mark Vonnegut

Art then becomes a safety valve for the expression of individual and collective neuroses originating in the inability of coping with the environment. Its products serve as a retarded correction of perception braked by the system of conventions and stereotypes that stabilize society. They create a slightly updated system which, eventually assimilated by history, will require a new system and so on without end. Art objects serve as points of identification alienated from the consumer, requiring more sympathy than empathy. — Luis Camnitzer

I was always interested in working with people with disabilities, and in high school I worked with people who had Down Syndrome. That was for an agency called AHRC, Association for the Help of Retarded Children. Then I went to college, and throughout college I volunteered for AHRC. — Meredith Eaton

I like to watch retarded people have sex, am I alone? — Daron Malakian

He knows, as all the cleverest ones do, that no human being is so interesting that he can't make himself more interesting still by acting retarded at random intervals. — Walter Kirn

They decided to allow their baby to be born. What they did not realize is that they themselves were the ones who would be 'born,' infants in a new world where magic is commonplace, Harvard professors are the slow learners, and retarded babies are the master teachers. — Martha N. Beck

Believers fight each other over the correct interpretation and even kill members of their own faiths in battles over doctrine. Civilization has been immensely retarded by such arcane interfaith quarrels and could now be destroyed by their modern versions. — Christopher Hitchens

We'll wake up every day and we'll tell ourselves, Live for today, you retarded little shit. The end is near. — Joey Comeau

I am blind. I am supposed to be retarded. — Jonathan Safran Foer

I love to disturb people, because only by disturbing them you can make them think. They have stopped thinking for centuries. Nobody has been there to disturb them. People have been consoling them. I am not going to console anybody ... Because the more you console them, the more retarded they remain. Shog them, hit them hard, give them challenge. That challenge will bring their full capacities to the climax. — Rajneesh

In the final analysis, the progress of our civilization will be retarded if any large body of citizens falls behind. Without the help of thousands of others, any one of us would die, naked and starved. — Franklin D. Roosevelt

My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you need to mention she's retarded right off the bat or inevitably, at the end of the story, someone will say, What ... is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh ... yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence. — Bonnie McFarlane

When I see gurgling retarded children (that's God's doing, by the way, not mine) happily styling their hair with their own stinking mards, I think of Adam in those pre-marital days. I know he's your great-to-the-nth-degree-granddad and all - but I'm afraid he was rather an imbecile. — Glen Duncan

Scholastic learning and polemical divinity retarded the growth of all true knowledge. — David Hume

Being socially retarded is like being mentally retarded, it arouses in others disgust and pity and the desire to torment and reform. — Margaret Atwood

Guys are kind of retarded until they're about 30. — Katherine Heigl

Maybe you shake your head, but let me learn a lesson right now: plenty knowledge is in this world. Enough knowledge that you can pick and refuse. And if you want, you can refuse to know plenty things, don't care how true those things be. I know things you does not know, and things you will never know. And it is sake of that - sake of this knowledge - that people have looked on me and called me old fool or crazy. They treat me like I is retarded. Imagine that. I is the idiot because I know what they don't know. — Kei Miller

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada. — Tucker Carlson

The grim fact is that we prepare for war like precocious giants, and for peace like retarded pygmies. — Lester B. Pearson

I collect things that just look retarded. — Ahmet Zappa

The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping. — Christy Leigh Stewart

Nothing perhaps has so retarded the reception of the higher conclusions of Geology among men in general, as ... [the] instinctive parsimony of the human mind in matters where time is concerned. — Charles Lapworth

A lot of the main characters in horror movies are outsiders as well, so that outsider syndrome reverberates within horror fans and geeky collectors. It's kind of a rallying call that brings fans and collectors together who are a little socially retarded, maybe. — Kirk Hammett

People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them. — Anthony Jeselnik

If we are lucky, they were never retarded enough to create computer viruses and will have no such things as firewalls and security like we have. If they have never experienced a full blown computer failure we'll introduce them to the concept — Thomas Wilson

Let me go!" She tore off a mirror and brandished it in his face. "I mean it! I don't want to go to your godforsaken hellbarn, you retarded psycho farmer! — Gina Damico

When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love on like the same day - even Karen the douche bag falls in love! Even retarded people in your neighborhood are getting married on their front lawn as you drive by, "What? The 'tards just got married on their lawn. That's great! I have nobody, and the 'tards just committed to each other for a lifetime of 'tardiness". — Dane Cook

White boys always get the Oscar. It's a known fact. Did I ever get a nomination? No! You know why? Cause I hadn't played any of them slave roles, and get my ass whipped. That's how you get the nomination. A black dude who plays a slave that gets his ass whipped gets the nomination, a white guy who plays an idiot gets the Oscar. That's what I need, I need to play a retarded slave, then I'll get the Oscar. — Eddie Murphy

If you were aboard a lifeboat with a baby and a dog, and the boat capsized, would you rescue the baby or the dog?" Regan, "If it were a retarded baby and a bright dog, I'd save the dog. — Tom Regan

I've noticed that you are retarded, Dr. Phil. — Christy Leigh Stewart

I still love her. But she's retarded, too. — Guy Ritchie

This is PCE's core fallacy - that a society's mode of expression is productive of its attitudes rather than a product of those attitudes 63 - and of course it's nothing but the obverse of the politically conservative SNOOT's delusion that social change can be retarded by restricting change in standard usage. — David Foster Wallace

All you had to say was, 'I am a writer,' and you became one. You didn't even have to write anything. You could just sit in a coffee shop with a notebook and stare into space, with a slightly bemused look on your face, judging the weight of the world with a jaundiced eye. As you can see, you can be completely full of shit and still be a writer ... I also thought it was going to be a great way to meet girls, but it wasn't
probably because as I was staring into space, I no doubt looked mildly retarded. You see, I wanted to write plays, which in retrospect is a lot harder than learning Mandarin, I think. How I ended up in this delusional state shall be saved for another time. — Lewis Black

I often took him as one of God's little jokes on me. When I was in desperate trouble, what saved me from a fate worse than death? To what do I owe my life? Was it love, affection, understanding, friends, wisdom? No no no. It was a man who looks like a poor copy of Walt Disney, drives pink Cadillacs, wears baby-blue alligator shoes, and appears to have the emotional depth of a slightly retarded potato. — Mark Vonnegut

But, being that I have always been rather awkward and shy around girls, especially those I liked, whenever I tried talking to them, it's hardly any wonder that I never got very far. I would simply start to stammer and stutter even before I could properly say hello. In fact, it's of my opinion that, to them, I must have come across seeming a bit retarded. — Andrew James Pritchard

Underneath this veneer of slightly crazy and mildly socially retarded, I'm a complete disaster. — Rainbow Rowell

That does not surprise me,' Annie said and once again hung up the phone thinking that she had chosen to surround herself with people who were, for lack of a better term, retarded. — Kevin Wilson

I was overworked, underpaid, and socially retarded. But — J.A. Konrath

Learning has been liberated from the despotism of the few and is now available to the mass public for one's own evolution. Yet many of us continue to find solace in illusions, in conformity to systematical oppression, in distractions that keep us mentally, socially and often physically retarded. — D. Allen Miller

What an incredible thing! How much less they had than other human beings. Mentally retarded, deaf, mute - and still eagerly sanding benches. — Daniel Keyes

When the three of us, the three men named Alex, gathered in Father's house that night to converse the journey, Grandfather said, I do not want to do it. I am retarded, and I did not become a retarded person in order to have to perform shit such as this. I am done with it. — Jonathan Safran Foer

You can be called mad
Right brain retarded
Taking brain phenomena
To be spiritual activity — Peter F Kelly

There's an assumption in many of these cultures that these children are mentally retarded, when in fact they're not at all. I saw how the operation affects the child, as well as the child's family and often the village. — Roma Downey

My project was retarded by laws of nature. The world was not prepared for it. It was too far ahead of time. But the same laws will prevail in the end and make it a triumphal success. — Nikola Tesla

I'm not even sure I want kids, by the way, even if I'm not the one who has to be pregnant. It seems too risky. I mean, what if you end up with a kid that's just plain bad? Or stupid? It's not like you can give it away or put it in a garage sale or something. You're pretty much stuck with it for a long time.
I know now they have all these tests they can do so you can find out if your kid has three arms or is retarded or whatever, but you can't test for everything. You can't test for crazy, for example, or for bad taste in music and clothes and stuff. You can't know if your kid is going to be someone you would actually want to have hanging around. You just have to take your chances. That seems like a pretty big gamble to me. — Michael Thomas Ford

Our northern brethren buried their dead, were skilled toolmakers, kept fires going, and took care of the infirm just like early humans. The fossil record shows survival into adulthood of individuals afflicted with dwarfism, paralysis of the limbs, or the inability to chew. Going by exotic names such as Shanidar I, Romito 2, the Windover Boy, and the Old Man of La Chapelle-aux-Saints, our ancestors supported individuals who contributed little to society. Survival of the weak, the handicapped, the mentally retarded, and others who posed a burden is seen by paleontologists as a milestone in the evolution of compassion. This communitarian heritage is crucial in relation to this book's theme, since it suggests that morality predates current civilizations and religions by at least a hundred millennia. — Frans De Waal

Sure, I had been through the DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program when I was a kid. I had seen Nancy Reagan's pasty white ass on TV telling me to, "just say no". But Nancy Regan had never had to worry about paying the rent, or living pay check to pay check, or finding her dad's rolling papers on the shelf above the coco-puffs. So I guess in Nancy Reagan's world it was pretty damn easy to adopt retarded slogans like, "just say no". I wouldn't know, though. I lived in the real world. I had problems. — Steven Eggleton

I hate that word, by the way. Retarded. I — Sharon M. Draper

But for the Jews this moral-spiritual issue raises the same societal problem it does for the Greeks: how can a man have the "right" to make himself spiritually or rationally destitute or retarded when this corrupts the whole quality of the culture that we all together need and depend on? If anyone wants a cloistered and closed-minded life, an anti-aristic life, let him either go off and live among the wolves-or else join the community of like-minded idiots that (alas) compose and define the basic terms of modern society. — Kenny Smith

She was emotionally retarded having no sense of humour, cold and no people skills. She was like her mother was obsessed by appearances and wealth and longed to get married to escape from home. — Annette J. Dunlea

I think everyone wants to be hugged at all times, but everyone is scared so no one does. Everyone has to sit around being unhugged. There should be people who are paid by the government to sit on public transport hugging people. The people should be called Hugabees.
Head Hugabee.
Hugabee of the Year.
Hugabee Headquarters.
No, that's retarded. Everyone would sue the Hugabees and they'd get upset and disappear. — Ben Brooks

The same teen who can't legally operate a four-wheeler, or [ATV] ... in a farm lane workplace environment can operate a jacked-up F-250 pickup on a crowded urban expressway. By denying these [farm work] opportunities to bring value to their own lives and the community around them, we've relegated our young adults to teenage foolishness. Then as a culture we walk around shaking our heads in bewilderment at these young people with retarded maturity. Never in life do people have as much energy as in their teens, and to criminalize leveraging it is certainly one of our nation's greatest resource blunders. — Joel Salatin

We feel that animals have the same rights as retarded human nchild because they are equal mentally in terms of dependence on others. — Alex Pacheco

I think... no, I am positive... that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we've been together, you have demonstrated EVERY loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick. — John Updike

Teachers thought I was stupid, parents believed I was retarded, lecturers assumed I took drugs but I was a writer. — Daniel Marques

The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded". — Tucker Max

God did not create man in his own image. Evidently, it was quite the other way about, which is the painless explanation for the profusion of gods and religions, and the fratricide both between and among faiths, that we see all about us and that has so retarded the development of civilization. — Christopher Hitchens

But we must not overlook the vital connection between all physical movement and the acquisition of speech, for this has now been established independently by psychologists. In the case of children whose speech has been retarded or has become disordered, they have found that the child's ability to handle words can be recovered by re-training his motor behavior through inducing him to resume the earlier posture of crawling, the stage that usually accompanies, or slightly precedes, the first efforts at speech. — Lewis Mumford

Our industry [classic music] has kind of retarded into this kind of endless cover-producing thing, and it's a pity. — Esa-Pekka Salonen

When I was a kid they didn't call it dyslexia. They called it you know, you were slow, or you were retarded, or whatever. What you can never change is the effect that the words 'dumb' and 'stupid' have on young people. I knew I wasn't stupid, and I knew I wasn't dumb. My mother told me that. If you read to me, I could tell you everything that you read. They didn't know what it was. They knew I wasn't lazy, but what was it? — Whoopi Goldberg

If the president finds time to help the mentally retarded, what are you doing that's so important? [Written underneath:] Working to get them out of Washington. — Robert Reisner

Life is sometimes to be watched as a retarded bird, uninspired by it. It may indeed be threaded, not as a precision course but as an affirmation of its own undoing. — Dew Platt

The movies are one of the bad habits that corrupted our century.Of their many sins, I offer as the worst their effect on the intellectual side of the nation. It is chiefly from that viewpoint I write of them - as an eruption of trash that has lamed the American mind and retarded Americans from becoming a cultured people. — Ben Hecht

But she would make it, because maybe he wasn't much of a warrior but if there was one thing that he was cut out for it was an epic and retarded act of love. — Brian McGreevy

I believe natural beauty has a necessary place in the spiritual development of any individual or any society. I believe that whenever we substitute something man-made and artificial for a natural feature of the earth, we have retarded some part of man's spiritual growth. — Rachel Carson

I used to be a Geico Caveman for live events. I was a corporate mascot. It was the silliest job. It was actually awesome and fun, but it was retarded. — Eric Andre

Well, there'll be an outcry, of course, but then it'll die down and something else will come along for people to get annoyed about. The important thing is that we save ourselves a lot of money, and meanwhile a whole generation of children from working-class or low-income families will be eating nothing but crisps and chocolate every day. Which means, in the end, that they'll grow up physically weaker and mentally slower.' Dorothy raised an eyebrow at this assertion. 'Oh, yes,' he assured her. 'A diet high in sugars lead to retarded brain growth. Our chaps have proved it.' He smiled. 'As every general knows, the secret of winning any war is to demoralize the enemy'. — Jonathan Coe

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor. — Laurie Notaro

My sister might be dumb, but that doesn't make her all that different from the rest of us. She's just like any other American. Except she's Canadian. And retarded. — Bonnie McFarlane

I'm living with K-Fed's retarded half brotha/sista. — Megan McCafferty

We have an obligation to help people that cannot help themselves. The mentally retarded, the physically retarded, et cetera. — Lou Holtz

There's a side that I want to do just like really retarded arty films like parody, pretentious art films that kind of are supposed to have some deep meaning. — Andy Milonakis

Somehow I'd still managed to go all retarded at the sight of some handsome asshole with a nice smile. — C.J. Roberts

Somewhere in the distance he could hear a wireless playing Judy Garland's 'Over the Rainbow.' Wolf had seen the film but, had he been the one swept up to the magical land of Oz, he would have raised an army of flying monkeys, stuck the witches in a concentration camp, razed the Emerald City to the ground and executed the wizard for communist sympathies, being a Jew, a homosexual, intellectually retarded, or all of the above.
He did like the tune, though. — Lavie Tidhar

When you're dead probably not even homeless people and retarded people will want to trade you places. — Chuck Palahniuk

I'm "exceptional"- a democratic term used to avoid the damning labels of "gifted" and "deprived" (which used to mean "bright" and "retarded") and as soon as "exceptional" begins to mean anything to anyone they'll change it. The idea seems to be: use an expression as long as it doesn't mean anything to anybody. "Exceptional" refers to both ends of the spectrum, so all my life I've been exceptional. — Daniel Keyes

I'd never considered myself socially retarded until that moment. — C.J. Roberts

Women have it good when it comes to masturbation. Guys, we just have our hands. For the rest of our lives, that's it. Sometimes your friend will go, 'Ever try your left hand? It's like a whole different person.' Yeah, a retarded person. — Jay Mohr