Redneck Humor Quotes & Sayings

You think all I can do is frog legs? I got Legs on my mind, alright, but yours. I'll do whatever it takes the save the ass on top of 'em and everything else, you hear me? — A. Violet End

It has that thing - the imagination, and the feeling of happy excitement- I knew when I was a kid. — Walt Disney

Give her hell from us, Peeves. — J.K. Rowling

I'm rubber and you're glue," I told Satan, " and everything that bounces of me sticks to you. — MaryJanice Davidson

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

She lives in a town of sorry history,
indifferent to ethical perspectives,
apathetic to female attributes,
cargo and trunk liners,
spilled oil in the garage,
telephone poles shaped like liquor bottles,
sustaining burly weather,
cardiac distressing cold,
tobacco and mortality,
lying face-up on the bar's concrete floor,
no one can waste a life
faster than a Montana redneck. — Brian D'Ambrosio

I had a dream that I lost my teeth and when I woke up they were all still in my mouth, thank God that I am not a Hill Billy after all. — Starley Ard

Well, fella, as much as I'd like to stick something up your ass, it ain't gonna be my finger or anything else on my body - sorry to disappoint. — A. Violet End

I had a novel in the back of my mind when I won an Ian St James story competition in 1993. At the award ceremony an agent asked me if I was writing a novel. I showed her four or five chapters of what would become 'Behind the Scenes at the Museum' and to my surprise she auctioned them off. — Kate Atkinson

Language is not the frosting, it's the cake. — Tom Robbins

Well, I'm already hoping there could be a dinner where you don't try to stab me with your fork," he said.
"You might need to make your peace with disappointment. — Rosamund Hodge

It wasn't Glen's jealousy that surprised him. "You owe Roy money?"
"Yep. Borrowed it to get my truck painted."
"Roy's a loan shark, too?"
"You ever see JAWS?" Snakebite asked.
Glen said he had.
"How 'bout THE GODFATHER?"
"Yeah."
"Well, if Michael Corleone waded out in the ocean and fucked that shark, then you'd have old Roy."
from the Tom Franklin short story "Grit" (page 31) from POACHERS:STORIES — Tom Franklin

Winter denial: therein lay the key to California Schadenfreude
the secret joy that the rest of the country feels at the misfortune of California. The country said: "Look at them, with their fitness and their tans, their beaches and their movie stars, their Silicon Valley and silicone breasts, their orange bridge and their palm trees. God, I hate those smug, sunshiny bastards!" Because if you're up to your navel in a snowdrift in Ohio, nothing warms your heart like the sight of California on fire. If you're shoveling silt out of your basement in the Fargo flood zone, nothing brightens your day like watching a Malibu mansion tumbling down a cliff into the sea. And if a tornado just peppered the land around your Oklahoma town with random trailer trash and redneck nuggets, then you can find a quantum of solace in the fact that the earth actually opened up in the San Fernando Valley and swallowed a whole caravan of commuting SUVs. — Christopher Moore

It's a lot of anti-gay, racist humor - which people like in America - all couched in 'I'm telling it like it is.' He's in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel-selling-ring-tones act. That's where we are as a nation now. We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride. — David Cross

Along with the concept of American Dream runs the notion that every man and woman is entitled to an opinion and to one vote, no matter how ridiculous that opinion might be or how uninformed the vote. It could be that the Borderer Presbyterian tradition of "stand up and say your rightful piece" contributed to the American notion that our gut-level but uninformed opinions are some sort of unvarnished foundational political truths. I have been told that this is because we redneck working-class Scots Irish suffer from what psychiatrists call "no insight". Consequently, we will never agree with anyone outside our zone of ignorance because our belligerent Borderer pride insists on the right to be dangerously wrong about everything while telling those who are more educated to "bite my ass! — Joe Bageant

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

He was a moth to her flame, a marshmallow to her campfire, a redneck to her bottle rocket ... — Nine Naughty Novelists

Do they send all of you jaguars through some elitist asshole training course? — Lisa Kessler

It's partly the Southernization of America, in that the Southern working-class version of redneck is becoming the national version, and it's good-natured, it has humor and, in some ways, it's a performance. — Robert Charles Wilson

I eat steamed sea bass and vegetables, and I have no sugar, and only drink soy milk. — Angelina Jolie