Rarely Used Funny Quotes & Sayings

When you come to the king, and he asks for the beautiful princess, you must say, "Here she is!" Then he will be very joyful; and you will mount the golden horse that they are to give you, and put out your hand to take leave of them; but shake hands with the princess last. Then lift her quickly on to the horse behind you; clap your spurs to his side, and gallop away as fast as you can. — Jacob Grimm

The flip side of suicide is that it leaves a lingering question in the minds of the people who survived. It's like a cancer that's metastasized. The suicide is the cancer and the metastasis is all these people saying, Why? Why? Why? — Abraham Verghese

I'm the renegade of funk. I've made house, techno, rock, funk, reggae ... That's why I've been on so many different labels. — Afrika Bambaataa

Praise and disgrace cause fear. — Laozi

The heart knows not of distance, space nor time. It meshes to the fabric of its desire & follows on an immeasurable continuum. — Truth Devour

Atheism shows strength of mind, but only to a certain degree. — Blaise Pascal

Who hasn't sharpened the edge of his soul? When, just as our eyes are opened, we see hate, and just after learning to walk, we are tripped, and just for wanting to love, we are hated, and for no more than touching, we are hurt, which of us hasn't started to arm himself, to make himself sharp, somehow, like a knife, to pay back the hurt? — Pablo Neruda

I do not chase after anyone if you wanna walk out my life then I will hold the fu****g door open for you — Wiz Khalifa

I don't hang out at trendy Hollywood bars. — Anton Yelchin

A man who has been born into the house of a warrior and yet places no loyalty in his heart and thinks only of the fortune of his position will be flattering on the surface and construct schemes in his heart, will forsake righteousness and not reflect on his shame, and will stain the warrior's name of his household to later generations. This is truly regrettable. — Torii Mototada

It's not that simple."
"It's as simple as dry toast."
"You're encouraging me to knowingly hurt him."
Cletus grunted impatiently and threw his hands up. "We're talking in circles. Here's reality: People get hurt and they move on or they don't. You can't have it both ways. You either get to be famous, and deal with the hassle that comes with it, or you leave it all behind. Own your shit, Sienna. And let Jethro own his. And then get married and own that shit together."
Cletus stood, clearly frustrated, and stomped away from me to the back door. He disappeared into the house only to appear three seconds later to add, "And while you're at it, beget me some nieces and nephews. — Penny Reid

Whenever the word is rightly preached, and attentively heard, it never fails to bring forth fruit. — Martin Luther