Quagmire Funny Quotes & Sayings

The only woman a wife should ever be jealous of is her husband's mom. — Jason Thomas

Faith is hoping that the wizard behind the curtain will explain what the flying monkeys had to do with you realizing that there is no place like home. — Shannon L. Alder

To me a great sci-fi movie has elements of horror and suspense. — Moon Bloodgood

Baptists:
I'm a pious guy, but even I have my limits. I draw the line right around spending 8 hours in church every Sunday. Church should be a solemn 45 minutes to sit quietly and feel guilty, with donuts at the end to make you feel better. I don't go in for a full day of singing and dancing and rejoicing, no matter how nice the hats are. I prefer my Gospel monotonously droned to me from a pulpit, thank you very much. — Stephen Colbert

I'm not excusing crime or those who bring poison into the community, but I do want brothers and sisters in prison to know someone cares. — Hill Harper

God has called us into a place of tenderness, when nobody is looking, when there are no great decisions to make, when it's just him and me in a hotel room, with no one to pray for, no one to preach to. When it is just two people in a room, that's where you learn. That's where you learn his heartbeat. That's where you learn the presence. That's where you learn the voice. It's in the moments when nobody is watching, nobody is evaluating how good you're doing. When it is just you and him. — Bill Johnson

To work a vineyard, you need a lot of guts to do that. To go out there and work all year, you almost feel that these people talk to the grapes. Wine is a lifestyle, and you can talk about it for ages. It's a passion, but it's not something I can do on a daily basis. — Thomas Muster

I've always felt, and I think I'm qualified to say so because I've won a few awards, that it's a terrible shame to put something in competition with something else to be able to sell something. — John Hurt

Forget the trunk. You can have the back seat ... but you have to duck. — Anthony Paull

Everybody has forgotten that Russia helped start the Second World War. — Ray Bradbury

As a kid who grew up chubby, I just marveled at the fact that I could be thin. — Al Sharpton

I do hang on to things. I was so happy my father saved his army jacket. I grew up wearing that all through high school. — Kyle MacLachlan

Under the old philosophy which had governed the high Middle Ages things had been everywhere towards a condition of Society in which property was well distributed throughout the community, and thus the family rendered independent. — Hilaire Belloc

Great! He has indigestion, so let's torture him with cake. — Kristin Cashore

I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone's heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark. — Raymond Carver