Pvt Fredrick Zoller Quotes & Sayings

Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was true, then a proctologist would be an astronaut. — Robert Schimmel

Eunoia: beautiful thinking; a well mind — Anonymous

I'm the worst kind of criminal."
"And what kind is that?"
"The kind that got caught. — Brandon Mull

There had to be something wrong with my life. I should have been born a Yugoslavian shepherd who looked up at the Big Dipper every night. — Haruki Murakami

Relax, Mr. Diggums. Have another nettle beer, or some spring water." The commander took two bottles from the cooler and offered one to Mulch.
Mulch studied the label. "Derrier? No thanks. You know how they put the bubbles in this stuff?"
Vinyaya's mouth twitched with the ghost of a smile. "I thought it was naturally carbonated."
"Yeah, that's what I thought until I got a prison job at the Derrier plant. They employ every dwarf in the Deeps. They made us sign confidentiality contracts."
Vinyaya was hooked. "So go on, tell me. How do they get the bubbles in?"
Mulch tapped his nose. "Can't say. Breach of contract. All I can say is it involves a huge vat of water and several dwarfs using our ... eh" Mulch pointed to his rear end-" ... natural talents."
Vinyaya gingerly replaced her bottle. — Eoin Colfer

Donald Trump is the Honey Boo Boo of rich people. — Morgan Freeman