Putting On A Condom Quotes & Sayings

Never give up, never give in, never give out! — Carl Facciponte

The banana flavour of his accidental conception, and the banana theme of his accidental death, now all seemed to conspire against him and rather suggest the universe, Mr Fate or whoever did have some sort of master plan after all. Despite all his earlier conjecturing, maybe the universe, Mr Fate or whoever was laughing its fat and meddling head at him. The outlandish evidence did seem to speak for itself, truly suggesting a mocking narrative devised by some mischievous author because quite simply a banana condom had brought Midnight into the world and a banana skin had seen him out. Putting those two seeming truths together, Midnight was once again forced to ask such confused and searching questions like:
What is this place, where am I heading? And what's the deal with all the ruddy bananas? — Tom Conrad

It doesn't matter anyway!" Patrick couldn't sit down. He couldn't. "It's not like sex is anything to shout about! It's icky, and the guy never wants to wear a condom, and I have to give a frickin' health and safety lesson every time I give a blow job because they think I'm stupid, and I know you can get shit from giving head, and I'm not putting that thing in my mouth unless I get a written fucking guarantee that it's not going to drop off or explode or give me some life-threatening disease or mutant antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea! — Amy Lane

Now We Think

Now we think
as we fuck
this nut
might kill us.
There might be
a pin-sized hole
in the condom.
A lethal leak.
We stop kissing
tall dark strangers,
sucking mustaches,
putting lips
tongues
everywhere.
We return to pictures.
Telephones.
Toys. Recent lovers.
Private lives.
Now we think
as we fuck
this nut might kill.
this kiss could turn
to stone. — Essex Hemphill

I hate it when people take so long to drink a single glass. IT is like putting on a condom to masturbate. — Gregory David Roberts

From the age of 14, 13, I guess I wanted to be a rock 'n' roll star. And that was it. I wanted to make a living playing rock 'n' roll, and it was a ridiculously impossible dream at that time. But it was kind of all I ever wanted to do. It's nice to do it. — Steven Van Zandt

Is there an island where people are awesome to each other with Starburst and Diet Pepsi? — Christopher Josephs

There is a misconception of tragedy with which I have been struck in review after review, and in many conversations with writers and readers alike. It is the idea that tragedy is of necessity allied to pessimism. Even the dictionary says nothing more about the word than that it means a story with a sad or unhappy ending. This impression is so firmly fixed that I almost hesitate to claim that in truth tragedy implies more optimism in its author than does comedy, and that its final result ought to be the reinforcement of the onlooker's brightest opinions of the human animal. — Arthur Miller

Me? I like wearing a condom. It means I'm having sex. I already spend most of my time NOT wearing one. It's like a tuxedo - I enjoy putting one on for special occasions. — David Mazzucchelli

'The image of you putting a condom on a banana to teach me about gay sex is forever ingrained in my head.'
'Well, a good father teaches his son about the facts of life.'
'You didn't have to put the banana in your mouth,' I reminded him.
He grinned without looking up. 'Bet that kept you from performing fellatio for quite a while.'
'Longer than you'll know.' — T.J. Klune

God rolled the condom onto his aching cock and applied a generous amount of lube. Day got up and turned around, putting his back to God's broad chest. God let Day position his cock at his entrance and ease down onto him at his own pace. God gritted his teeth at the perfect view of his cock being swallowed by this sexy man. "Oh my fucking god. Leo, fuck," God groaned through gritted teeth. Leo's — A.E. Via

What ultimately did me in was the self-adhesive condom. Putting it on was no problem, but its removal qualified as what, in certain cultures, is known as a bris. Wear it once, and you'll need a solid month to fully recover. It will likely be a month in which you'll weigh the relative freedom of peeing in your pants against the unsightly discomfort of a scab-covered penis, ultimately realizing that, in terms of a convenient accessory, — David Sedaris

Saying "I love you" makes a demand, but creates no obligations. — Mason Cooley

Courage is fear that prays. — Paulo Coelho

The Best and Right thing to do in Life, is Give a Person a Chance to finish what they started. — Joan Ambu

Time is running out, but what is it running toward? — David Levithan

Don't talk to strangers. Don't do drugs. Don't smoke. Don't drink and drive. Don't have sex. Wear a condom. Wear sunblock. Wear a seat belt. Wear a helmet. If you see something, say something. Just say no. Stop, drop, and roll. Stop, look, and listen. Look both ways before you cross the street ...
Safety is an illusion. Bad things can happen to anyone at any time, whether you follow the rules or not. You can check left, check right, check left again before you step off the curb and into the crosswalk, but that won't stop an anonymous asshole in his shitty pickup from putting you in intensive care ... — Megan McCafferty

There must be something beyond man in this world. Even on attaining to his highest possibilities, he is like a bird beating against his cage. There is something beyond, O deathless like a sea-shell, moaning for the bosom of the ocean to which you belong! — Edwin Hubbel Chapin

The first time I kissed you. One kiss, and I was totally hooked. Addicted to you. I could never love anyone the way I love you. I'd follow you across the universe. — Ellen Hopkins