Publishing Humor Quotes & Sayings

The thing you don't realize, my dear girl, is that I have been forced by the economic realities to start taking publishing very seriously. For example, it has been brought to my attention that our ability to continue to pay the hordes of people employed by M&S (God knows how many mouths have to be fed) depends directly on the number of copies of your new book [Life Before Man] that we are able to sell between September and Christmas. In past I have been able to treat this whole thing as a fun game. I have never been troubled by the cavalier explanations about lost manuscripts and fuck-ups of various sorts. Now I have learned that this is a deadly serious game. I don't laugh at jokes about the Canadian postal service. I cry. (in a letter to author Margaret Atwood, dated February, 1979) — Jack McClelland

I often think publishing a book is like doing a poo. Once it's ready for the world, you have to relinquish that control and let nature take its course. A few will be impressed by your creation, others will be disgusted. Plus, no one will enjoy your success and achievement in producing it as much as you did. — H.O. Charles

You couldn't speak to fear, couldn't tell it the truth: Fear lived in your bones. — Cassandra Clare

If low-temperature fusion does exist and can be perfected, power generation could be decentralized. Each home could heat itself and produce its own electricity, probably using a form of water as fuel. Even automobiles might be cold-fusion powered. — Charles Platt

People really do change. Don't let anyone tell you differently. That the future does not conform to the past is not the exception, but the rule. — Jonathan Evison

As Francis Schaeffer reminded us, "The Christian is the one whose imagination should fly beyond the stars" (5). — Leland Ryken

You can't judge a book by it's cover but you can sure sell a bunch of books if you have a good one. — Jayce O'Neal

Every time you publish a book, be prepared to eat a fresh slice of humble pie. — Shana James

I'm tired of the anonymity of being an unpublished author. I crave the anonymity of being self-published. — Tristan Durie

I would not employ an author to referee a Ping-Pong match. By their very nature they are biased and bloody-minded. Better put a fox in a henhouse than to ask an author to judge his peers. (in a letter to the Governor General about the GA's Literary Awards & his issue
among others
with the judging system, 1981) — Jack McClelland

The pain of an unpublished manuscript is akin to the trauma of bearing an unborn. — Anurag Shourie

Ed frowned. "Well, it's a terrible picture of me! Here, give me that. I'm going to tear it up. There ought to be legal action against publishing a bad picture like that without my permission . . . ."

A wild scuffle ensued as they tried to keep Ed from destroying the article before they could read it. — Sarah Scheele

A man's sexual organ is penis and woman's sexual organ is brains. — DK Publishing

To call yourself an author takes publishing one book. To call yourself an inspirational author is the work of a lifetime that requires being constantly kicked in the stomach, only to get back up on your feet and show the world how you survived it each time. — Shannon L. Alder

The hardest thing about writing a novel is getting it published. — Marianne Cushing

During their subsequent meetings, which were soon and often, Lance confessed and anatomized his passion for her. He even gave her its (the passion's, of course) biography. It had been born of a book jacket, the one responsible for the only really nice thing ever said about Eloise Michaud in a metropolitan review - The photo-portrait on the book jacket will move as many books as, say, good writing might. To be honest, however, the picture is worth quite the price of the volume. Miss Michaud is the most scrumptious scrivener ever to set pen to the paper of a book-club contract. — Theodore Sturgeon

It has been our experience that American houses insist on very comprehensive editing; that English houses as a rule require little or none and are inclined to go along with the author's script almost without query. The Canadian practice is just what you would expect
a middle-of-the-road course. We think the Americans edit too heavily and interfere with the author's rights. We think that the English publishers don't take enough editorial responsibility. Naturally, then, we consider our editing to be just about perfect. There's no doubt about it, we Canadians are a superior breed! (in a letter to author Margaret Laurence, dated May, 1960) — Jack McClelland

I'm the only gay person my parents know. — Lance Bass

The laws of the media, in tetrad form, bring logos and formal cause up to date to reveal analytically the structure of all human artefacts. — Marshall McLuhan

Hatori: "SHIGURE ... I WILL TELL EVERYONE IN THE PUBLISHING INDUSTRY EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT YOU, STARTING FROM WHEN YOU WERE FOUR YEARS OLD ... "
Shigure: "Sorry, Tohru-kun. My lips are sealed! — Natsuki Takaya

I vote, I participate, I am present, I am concerned - mirror of a paradoxical mockery, mirror of the indifference of all public signification. — Jean Baudrillard

Once, if you told people you were self-published, they'd look at you like you were a smelly old jobless hobo just come off a dusty boxcar with soupcan shoes and a hat made from a coyote skull. — Chuck Wendig

Just as the lame man at the pool of Bethesda needed someone stronger than himself to be healed (see John5:1-9), so we are dependent on the miracles of Christ's atonement if our souls are to be made whole from grief, sorrow, and sin — Merrill J. Bateman

The good news about self publishing is you get to do everything yourself. The bad news about self publishing is you get to do everything yourself. — Lori Lesko

These families need you." I said it quietly, and the silence stretched some more. I tried to steady my breathing. He paused again, then gave a deep sigh and said, "All right. I'll do it. I'll do what I can. — Elizabeth Warren

You owe me and you know what I want in return."
He scowled at me. "Not the pants."
I nodded gravely. "Give me your pants. — Jennifer Echols

I've had situations when I've actually encouraged authors to self-publish because their book was poor. Now one would conclude that I'm asking them to self-publish because their book was poor and the self-publishing warehouse is where all the poor books belong. But no, it's because "poor" is only my opinion, and I'm just one in millions of readers. — King Samuel Benson

If you can't be of good character, write a good character. — Rosen Trevithick

People eat nuts squirrels are nuts — Gage Educational Publishing

I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs. — Frank Zappa

You think publishing is tough but the music world is ten times tougher. — Jeffery Deaver

God, Bones, you must have argued yourself blue in the face. — Jeaniene Frost

You need a new strategy for every new situation. — Lailah Gifty Akita

I live in harmony.
No happiness has to been shown.
P.C.M. Hermans — Petra Hermans

You can't second-guess yourself as a filmmaker. — Ralph Bakshi