Prostate Quotes & Sayings

Hell, we spent $200 Billion to get a scared guy who needed a shave out of a fox-hole! And he may even die of prostate cancer before we even get a chance to try him, dammit! — Ted Turner

dairy intake is "one of the most consistent dietary predictors for prostate cancer in the published literature," and those who consume the most dairy have double to quadruple the risk. — T. Colin Campbell

Not married. Mostly because no one has ever asked me," Leah said lightly.
Izzy pulled a disbelieving face. "Are the men in Melbourne blind?" she said. "You're hot. If all doctors looked like you, my boyfriend would be at the local clinic every second day, begging for a prostate exam or something equally perverted."
"Well, thanks. I think," Leah said. — Sarah Mayberry

Most people seemed to rate the discovery of America pretty highly; I'd have to say that, for me, it paled into insignificance beside the discovery of my prostate. — J.L. Merrow

I was in Vietnam, and I was exposed to Agent Orange. And there's a high relationship between people that were exposed to Agent Orange and the kind of lymphoma that I had. The prostate cancer was genetic in my family. My father had prostate cancer, my - three of my four uncles had prostate cancer. — Hamilton Jordan

If you are over seventy, and you don't have prostate cancer, chances are you're a woman. — Mark Scholz

It seems The Journal of Neurology reports that the longer you smoke, the less likely you are to develop Parkinson's disease. So what are they telling us? Follow me guys. Remember, a couple of months ago, doctors said drinking a glass of alcohol every day was good for your heart. Smoking prevents Parkinson's disease. Marijuana is good for glaucoma. Sex is good for your prostate. You know, screw health care. Let's party! — Jay Leno

Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam. — Jay Leno

Like all professional sailors, Holden had sometimes ended long flights by drinking himself into a stupor. More than once he'd wandered into a brothel and left only when they threw him out with an emptied account, a sore groin, and a prostate as dry as the Sahara desert. So when Amos staggered into his room after three days on station, Holden knew exactly what the big mechanic felt like. — James S.A. Corey

Under the sad end-of-days spell of the smoky dusk and the waning year, of the moon and its ostentatious superiority to the trashy, petty claptrap of his sublunar existence, why does he even hesitate? The Kamizakis are your enemies whether you do or not, so you might as well do it. Yes, yes, if you can still do something, you must do it - that is the golden rule of sublunar existence, whether you are a worm cut in two or a man with a prostate like a billiard ball. If you can still do something, then you must do it! Anything living can figure that out. — Philip Roth

I wonder why bigots think their conservative and puritanical version of 'God' made the male body with a prostate gland that also co-incidentally 'just happens' to be a 'g-spot'? — Christina Engela

Oh Jesus, hello prostate," he gasped. — Abigail Roux

Prophet's legs opened wider, pushing against the barrier of Tom's legs. "Yeah, that's right . . . let me in," Tom urged, and Prophet wanted to tell him to fuck off, but he couldn't. Not when Tom entered him with a finger. A few twists to open him, coupled with several swipes of his prostate, and Prophet was pushing his hips up to meet Tom's motions. "Good. That's what I want to see." "Fuck your good," Prophet growled, but his voice was too raw and gave away exactly what he was feeling. Tom added another finger, turned them until Prophet groaned his surrender. The sensation of Tom's fingertips brushing his gland made him shudder. He kept his hands above his head, didn't try to break Tom's grip. He'd have rug burn on his ass by the end of this, and he didn't care. Tom was here. Home. Safe. Now, so was he. "Go — S.E. Jakes

The moment the doctor said he wanted to do a biopsy, in my heart I thought I'd probably got it. But I also know a lot of people who have also had prostate cancer, so I had a reasonably good idea what to expect. — Andrew Lloyd Webber

A new medical study reports that men who eat ten pizzas a week are less likely to develop prostate problems at age 50. That's because they are usually dead by age 40. — Jay Leno

Zane lifted his legs enough to wrap them around Ty again, changing the angle of Ty's thrusts, and he gave a long, forlorn cry as Ty hit his prostate. "Oh, God baby, so, so good." Ty — Abigail Roux

When testosterone levels are low, vitamin D potentiates abnormal prostate tissue growth. — Stephen Harrod Buhner

Ha. You have no idea how hard a guy gets off from a good prostate massage. — Elle Kennedy

I have charity work that I do. I started my own charity, the Friends of the Prostate, and I'm also working on awareness of the deviated septum. I do this because not many people are interested in it. There's also Save the Funnel-web - they're dying out. — Barry Humphries

New rule: Stop calling it Obamacare. It's not like Obama will be the doctor for
your next prostate exam. That's just a common fantasy of Republican men. — Bill Maher

You've been through my stuff. I bent over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's fingernail sticking out of my cock. — Stephen King

I was diagnosed with an early, early stage of prostate cancer. I was almost a vegetarian then. I was heading that direction. What pushed me over the edge, was the doctor who did the diagnosis. He said in a discussion about prostate cancer that he had never seen a vegetarian with prostate cancer. And this is not a holistic doctor, this is a regular, mainstream doctor. And I was just blown away. — Michael Dorn

African-American women who develop breast cancer are more likely to die from the disease than White women of the same age. Survival rates are worse among African-Americans for colon, prostate and ovarian cancers as well. — Frank C. Garland

Then you're seventy-five, friends are dead, and you've replaced at least one major organ: you have to pee four times a night, and you can't go up a flight a stairs without being little winded
and your're told you're in pretty good shape for your age.
[ ... ], in a decade you'll be eighty-five, and the only difference between you and a raisin will be that while you're both wrinkled and without a prostate, the raisin never had a prostate to begin with. — John Scalzi

You need a prostate to understand," I said. — Jim Butcher

I feel you, Syn. I feel you about to explode," Furi groaned against his ear. His hands traveled down to Syn's ass. He pulled him in tight against him, making Syn grind hard inside him. Furi worked his hips from the bottom and Syn had no doubt Furi's prostate was being stimulated. If the noises coming from him weren't evidence enough, the cock trapped between them that had turned to steel definitely was. "You're gonna make me fuckin' come, Syn," Furi rasped out. Furi's cock was trapped between them and the way Furi controlled Syn's hips had his abs rubbing roughly over its length. Syn's orgasm was rising. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes on his lover's beautiful face, especially when Furi took one hand off Syn's ass and made a show of sexily sucking on one finger. "Oh — A.E. Via

We can reduce these cancer rates - breast cancer, prostate cancer, colon cancer - by 90 percent or more by people adopting what I call a nutritrarian diet. — Joel Fuhrman

At the teasing penetration, my hips jerk upward. Wes chuckles and eases his finger deeper, until the pad of it is stroking my prostate. My entire body trembles. Tingles. Burns. He spends a maddeningly long time torturing me with his mouth and finger - no, fingers. He's got two inside me now, rubbing that sensitive place and bringing white dots to my eyes. "Wes," I murmur. He raises his head. His gray eyes are smoky with desire. "Hmmm?" he says lazily. "Stop fucking teasing me and start fucking fucking me," I rasp. "Fucking fucking you? Did you really need two fuckings?" "One's an adverb and one's a verb." My voice is as tight as every muscle in my body. I'm about to go up in flames if he doesn't make me come. His laughter warms my thigh. "I love the English language, dude. It's so creative." "Are we really having this conversation right now?" I growl when his teeth sink into my inner thigh. His fingers are still lodged inside me, but no longer moving. — Sarina Bowen

Granted, prostate exams aren't the most enjoyable things in the world, but they only last about 10 seconds. It's well worth it. Just think of the possible consequences if you don't get it done. — Len Dawson

Touching you sounded less stalkerish than lying prostate on top of you. — Chelsea Fine

This is not science fiction. Around the world, 50,000 men with prostate cancer have been treated with focused ultrasound. Over 22,000 women with uterine fibroids (benign tumors of the uterus) have been treated, thus avoiding hysterectomies and infertility. Clinical trials for tumors of the brain, breast, pancreas and liver, as well as Parkinson's disease, arthritis, and hypertension are inching forward at over 225 research sites around the world. — John Grisham

I would like to hear Elliot Carter's Fourth String Quartet, if only to discover what a cranky prostate does to one's polyphony. — James Sellars

Since I came to the White House, I've gotten two hearing aids, had a colon operation, a prostate operation, skin cancer, and I've been shot ... damn thing is, I've never felt better. — Ronald Reagan

The idea of giving a man a rim job provoked the squeamishness I felt at thirteen when I accidentally stumbled upon my first porn, Women Who Love Big White Cocks. I was repulsed that a woman would put her mouth on a man's penis. After all, that's where he pees. I got older. I discovered my sexuality and on countless occasions, put my mouth where a boy peed. He put his mouth where I peed, put his fingers where I pooped, put where he peed where I pooped, and we swapped saliva the entire time. Men forgot that the female breasts that ignited their hard-ons fed them as infants. We didn't realize that although the meaning changed, our "dirty places" remained the same. — Maggie Young

Rather than answer, he just moans again. Low, agonized. Shit, he's desperate for it. I guess I would be too if I'd walked around all day with a plug rubbing on my prostate. I smooth my hand down his strong back, then lean in and plant a kiss between his shoulder blades as I withdraw again. "I like you like this," I murmur. "That sexy ass in the air. Having you at my mercy. Hearing you beg. — Sarina Bowen

My friend's granddad died of prostate cancer and it had a profound effect on me. So when I was presented with the opportunity to speak out, I had to take it. This is a life threatening issue for men; it happens every day. The more you know, the better your chances are of dealing with it if the worst were to happen. — Tristan Wilds

Prostate cancer represents a full third of all cancer incidence in men - sixfold that of leukemia and lymphoma. — Siddhartha Mukherjee

I recently formed a foundation to raise awareness for prostate cancer. I feel it's very necessary that men be more aware about prostate cancer and their health in general. — Herbie Mann

Yeah," he managed when Shane was in up to the hilt, but the man didn't give him a second to breathe before he began to pump, hitting Reed's prostate in a way that demanded he yell. "More, Shane. I want more." "I know. I've been told I can corrupt anyone," Shane said easily. Reed laughed as he came, Keith snorted, and they were both in deep with this one. — S.E. Jakes

My son never eats baloney. He says the stuff in baloney will kill you. I say when? I've got cataracts, high blood pressure, enlarged prostate, skin cancer, hemorrhoids, an artificial hip, false teeth, and gas. Every day I take eleven different pills and a stool softener. And now I'm supposed to worry about baloney. — Janet Evanovich

The mans prostate was so encased by the tumour that doctors couldn't even see it. The tumour was wrapped around the gland ... when he started out his PSA was ... around 5,000 ... it eventually normalised ... and he is alive and well now..and I think his PSA count is like 3 or 4. — Richard M. Schulze

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. — Malcolm Muggeridge

Men need to be aware of the health of their bodies, as well - prostate cancer and breast cancer are almost on the same level. It's fascinating to me that the correlation between the two is almost the same - people don't talk about it so much, but they are almost equal in numbers. — Olivia Newton-John

It only takes a tenth grade course on evolution to know that the prostate g-spot's existence alone is proof that ass play has been done for a very, very long time. — Maggie Young

Don't you think the Gods put some thought into where they put the prostate gland? — Setona Mizushiro

My father's death from prostate cancer in 1993 was tragic. He never complained about pain. He was a fighter. By the time he was ready to die he wasn't able to die in the way that he wanted to, which seemed an outrage to me. — Zoe Wanamaker

I began seeing my wife, Kathleen, while I was undergoing treatment for prostate cancer. — Ken Venturi

As a supporter of the Prostate Cancer Foundation and their Home Run Challenge program, I am extremely grateful for the valuable partnerships and relationships built with Major League Baseball and our affiliates. — Joe Torre

And lose my cock, balls and prostate? Are you kidding me? Honey, I'm still all man. I'm just a man with decoration, Tommy had explained before turning with a flounce and practically floating out of the room in his heels. — Vicktor Alexander

Judge bucked and Michaels gasped as his dick was squeezed to the point of pain. "Fuck! Austin!" Judge shouted under him, his back muscles flexing hard, his fist clenching the edge of the mattress. It only took a split second of his dick being deliciously hugged by those constricting walls to know Judge was coming apart. Coming so hard, so beautifully for him. "Yeah, sweetheart." Michaels pushed hard against Judge's prostate, wrenching another strangled yell from him. Judge shook and ground his dick into the mattress, draining the last of his orgasm while Michaels stirred up to began his own. "I'm — A.E. Via

Vincent Gallo has put a curse on my colon and a hex on my prostate. He called me a 'fat pig' in the New York Post and told the New York Observer I have 'the physique of a slave-trader.' He is angry at me because I said his 'The Brown Bunny' was the worst movie in the history of the Cannes Film Festival ...
it is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of 'The Brown Bunny.' — Roger Ebert

The drug hit him like an express train, a white-hot column of light mounting his spine from the region of his prostate, illuminating the sutures of his skull with x-rays of short-circuited sexual energy. His teeth sang in their individual sockets, each one pitch-perfect and clear as ethanol. His bones, beneath the hazy envelope of flesh, were chromed and polished, the joints lubricated with a film of silicone. Sandstorms raged across the scoured floor of his skull, generating waves of high thin static that broke behind his eyes, spheres of purest crystal, expanding ... — William Gibson

The prostate might as well have been a mythological creature like a unicorn or Leprechaun only acknowledged through whispery giggles among women brunching with their gay friends. — Maggie Young

Please let Georgie have given you the world's greatest prostate tickle and convinced you that Raahosh and I need to be together. — Ruby Dixon

John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery. But the doctors did tell him it would be several months before he could be sexually active again. All the other Democratic candidates have been very supportive. Joe Lieberman called to wish him the best. The Rev. Al Sharpton called to offer prayers. Former President Bill Clinton called Mrs. Kerry and asked if she was lonely. — Jay Leno

I have heard of people dying from prostate cancer, and they are the unlucky ones, the people who didn't know they had got it, and it went on the rampage. — Ian McKellen

Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don't just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That's desertion. — Stephen Colbert

In recent years, using tissue samples from themselves, their families, and their patients, scientists had grown cells of all kinds - prostate cancer, appendix, foreskin, even bits of human cornea - often with surprising ease. Researchers were using that growing library of cells to make historic discoveries: that cigarettes caused lung cancer; how X-rays and certain chemicals — Rebecca Skloot

Probably the most violently hated of the weenie songs cited in the survey was "Sometimes When We Touch," sung in a very emotional manner by Dan Hill, who sounds as though he's having his prostate examined by Captain Hook. — Dave Barry

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die. — Conan O'Brien

Why hasn't anyone ever told me the prostate was some kind of magical pleasure zone? Are there unicorns and orgasm fairies dancing around in there? — Sarina Bowen

Men with the highest dairy intakes had approximately double the risk of total prostate cancer, — T. Colin Campbell

The four most common cancers that account for about 80 percent of all cancer deaths are lung, breast, colorectal cancer, and prostate cancer. — Laurie Glimcher

I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice. This is the best I can do. All the trouble in the world is human trouble. Well, that's not true. But when cancer cells run amok and burst out of the prostate and take over the liver and lymph glands and end up killing everything in the body including themselves, they certainly are acting like some humans we know. — P. J. O'Rourke

Major League Baseball has prostate awareness for two weeks leading up to Father's Day, and I want to get involved in that. — Steve Garvey

Cows given genetically modified growth hormones make more milk, but have painful swollen udders, have ulcers, joint pain, miscarriages, deformed calves, infertility, and much shorter life spans. Their milk contains blood, pus, tranquilizers, antibiotics, and an insulin growth factor that can cause a fourfold increase in prostate cancer and sevenfold rise in breast cancer. This is the milk used in our school lunch programs and served to our children. This is the milk that you buy every day. This is the milk used in all cheeses, yogurts, butter, and cream. — Kevin Trudeau

Since I came to the White House, I got two hearing aids, a colon operation, skin cancer, a prostate operation, and I was shot. The damn thing is, I've never felt better in my life. — Ronald Reagan

Three days ago, I was fired from my job teaching at a college because one of my students
bet me that you don't cum when you get a prostate exam and it took me seven minutes
to prove that dumb fucking kid wrong. It was hard to touch my own prostate, but
ultimately, I was correct. I came onto the floor and onto the person in the desk up front.
I said, "Kids, that is what is known as 'empirical evidence'. — Sam Pink

I have got prostate cancer, and I have to keep monitoring that. It's no problem, it's under control and I'm very cool about it, but other people are dying from it. — Ian McKellen

There's a saying in my business that there are two kinds of coaches - those who have been fired and those who haven't been fired yet. That's kind of like prostate cancer. Every man will have it if he lives long enough. — Bobby Bowden

Broccoli is incredible. It can prevent DNA damage and metastatic cancer spread; activate defences against pathogens and pollutants; help to prevent lymphoma; boost the enzymes that detox your liver; target breast cancer stem cells; and reduce the risk of prostate cancer progression. — Michael Greger

I finally had my prostate checked. And I was super-thankful that I taught my asshole to whistle before the doctor stuck his finger in there. The look on his face was priceless. — Ryan Reynolds

I love you. The words are always right there on the tip of my naughty tongue. I swallow them back like I need to and say something much more practical instead. "Have you ever been acquainted with your prostate? — Sarina Bowen

We have Dragon [dictation software]," one primary care doctor said, "which you have to be careful of, because I just [dictated] 'Patient's prostate is bothering him' and it turned out 'Patient's prostitute is bothering him. — Robert Wachter

'Early stages' is when the cancer is completely contained within the prostate. If it is detected when the cancer is entirely in the gland, the chance for full recovery is at its highest. — Len Dawson

I had prostate cancer that, for me, was debilitating. I didn't touch a guitar for two years, but when I realized I was seeing the light at the end of the recovery tunnel and was going to live pain-free, I realized again that it was a fun little instrument to play. — Ronnie Montrose

Sure, I've gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees ... I've fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, and take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, hardly feel my hands or feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, but ... thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license! — Red Buttons

Men in fear and hunger destroy their stomachs in the fight to secure certain food, where men hungering for love destroy everything lovable about them ... In the world ruled by tigers with ulcers, rutted by strictured bulls, scavenged by blind jackals ... What can it profit a man to gain the whole world and to come to his property with a gastric ulcer, a blown prostate, and bifocals? — John Steinbeck

You know its going to be a bad day when you are having a prostate examination and you feel both of your doctor's hands on your shoulders! — Michael Robotham

The light is off, and it is dark. He has one hand pressed against the cold tiles of the wall above the toilet, and with his other hand he is taking aim, such as it is. He's waiting for his prostate to get out of the way so he can take a well-deserved leak and get back to bed where he belongs, so that if by chance his heart stops this very second, he won't be found - holding his pecker, dead on the floor - by a bunch of twenty-year-old medics who will gawk at his circumcision and bad luck. — Derek B. Miller

What's PSA?" "Prostate test." "Prostate?" Cooper asked, looking a little miffed. "I hope he bought you dinner first. — N.R. Walker

In 1975, Richard Doll and Bruce Armstrong published a seminal analysis of diet and cancer, in which they noted that, the higher the sugar intake in different nations, the higher both the incidence of and mortality from cancer of the colon, rectum, breast, ovary, uterus, prostate, kidney, nervous system, and testicles. — Gary Taubes

[Richard] remembered asking Tommy once why he didn't want to transition into a woman.
"And lose my cock, balls and prostate? Are you kidding me? Honey, I'm still all man. I'm just a man with decoration."
Tommy Wilkins, A Very Tate Christmas (Tate Pack #3) — Vicktor Alexander

Medical journals from 1905 to 1915 are rife with articles on "vibratory massage" and the many things it cures. Weakened hearts and floating kidneys. Hysterical cramp of the esophagus and catarrh of the inner ear. Deafness, cancer, bad eyesight. And lots and lots of prostate problems. A Dr. Courtney W. Shropshire, writing in 1912, was impressed to note that by means of "a special prostatic applicator, well lubricated, attached to the vibrator, introduced to the rectum" he was "able to empty the seminal vesicles of their secretions." Indeedy. Shropshire's patients returned every other day for treatment, no doubt also developing a relationship with the vibration machine. — Mary Roach

Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.' — David Letterman

For the husband, the male prostate can only be accessed through the anus. It is called the "male G-spot" as it is reportedly a source of great pleasure when stroked by such things as a wife's finger. — Mark Driscoll

The idea is to encourage men to go with their wives and screen. So, if the wife is going to go and do her screening, then the man can go and do his baseline screening, too. Men need to be aware of the health of their bodies, as well - prostate cancer and breast cancer are almost on the same level. — Olivia Newton-John

Hurray, Hallelujah, and Happy Prostate! Finally, someone has taken the years and done the work, so the rest of us no longer need suffer from ignorance as to how to have good prostate health. That someone is Roger Mason, and all that one needs to know in order to have a happy prostate has been distilled down into this one book. I would stake the health of my prostate on it, and can tell you as a prostate cancer survivor; it is the ONLY way to go. — Dirk Benedict

More than once he'd wandered into a brothel and left only when they threw him out with an emptied account, a sore groin, and a prostate as dry as the Sahara desert. — James S.A. Corey

He looked like a man on his way to a prostate exam. — Kathy Reichs

My girlfriend's dad runs the Prostate Centre on Wimpole St. in London, and he's chairman of Prostate U.K., which I think is the second-largest prostate cancer charity in Britain. — Christian Cooke

What are you going to do first when we get out of here?"

"Have a bath. What about you?"

"I'm torn between drinking, showering, and pizza."

"You're such a guy you might as well have said 'scratching my balls and getting my prostate examined'. — Eve Dangerfield

I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories. — Jerry Stiller

I am living proof that if you catch prostate cancer early, it can be reduced to a temporary inconvenience, and you can go back to a normal life. — Norman Schwarzkopf

Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life. But it all changes after that. You get a great car, a great job. You got a wife, kids, you got your health. But then your company is sold out from under you, your stocks tank, your wife's sleeping with the gardener and your teenage daughter is pregnant. And you notice that you have a prostate so hard, you can actually take a hammer to it. But hey, not one zit. — Christopher Titus

The male prostate gland was a mysterious and wonderful thing. — Travis Luedke