Program Funny Quotes & Sayings

Always keep a smile. I attribute my long life to that. I believe I will die laughing. That's part of my program. — Jeanne Calment

Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'? — Frankie Boyle

It was always a fantasy of mine growing up - my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' - so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child, I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now ... whaddaya know, every day I'm in a calico dress, basically, so it's kind of funny. — Chloe Sevigny

When I started my program ... there was a big clock in the corner and I looked and it said nine o'clock exactly. And it was funny, because when I was standing on the podium, it said exactly 10 p.m., and this whole hour had changed my life. — Sarah Hughes

Life is funny. I'd applied to the wrong graduate program, but that eventually led me to the right grad program. I'd taken what I thought was the wrong undergraduate major, and that was the thing that set me apart and allowed me to find my niche. I don't know if there are any lessons to take from that except to realize that the things you think are mistakes may turn out not to be mistakes. I realized wherever you are, if you make the most of what you've got, you can find a way to keep moving forward. — Mike Massimino

When I was in college, I was in the theater department, which for anyone who has been involved in any kind of theater program, you know that it's really wacky and tight-knit, a real family. Me and my good friends from college would do random shows and plays that were sometimes serious, but most of the time really goofy and funny. — Darren Criss

Have you ever thought about a Twelve Step program for people who talk too much? You could call it On and On Anon. — Mary Doria Russell

Why are the super-rich for socialism? Don't they have the most to lose? I take a look at my bank account and compare it with Nelson Rockefeller's and it seems funny that I'm against socialism and he's out promoting it. Or is it funny? In reality, there is a vast difference between what the promoters define as socialism and what it is in actual practice. The idea that socialism is a share-the-wealth program is strictly a confidence game to get the people to surrender their freedom to an all-powerful collectivist government. While the Insiders tell us we are building a paradise on earth, we are actually constructing a jail for ourselves. — Gary Allen

I particularly like Twitter, because it's short and can be very funny and informative. It's a little bit like having your own radio program. — Margaret Atwood

There is some sort of perverse pleasure in knowing that it's basically impossible to send a piece of hate mail through the Internet without its being touched by a gay program. That's kind of funny. — Eric Allman

You've got to stop and ask yourself once in a while ... why some asinine politicians would quicker cut out social security than the space program ... Go figure. — Timothy Pina

It's hard to program a computer to make jokes. The brain needs to do something here; the brain needs to come up with something bizarre to make something funny. — Brian Regan

We ate all of this in front of Tack's huge, flat-screen TV in the living room where I was treated to a marathon of Storage Wars. Seeing as I didn't watch TV, I'd never heard of this program. But by the second episode I was hooked. I declared that I thought Brandi and Jarrod were "adorable" together, which for some reason he didn't explain made Rush laugh so hard I thought he would bust a gut. Rush might find that funny but I decided I was going to start dressing like Brandi. She always looked the shit. I also shared that Dave was my favorite "character" to which Tabby told me with grave seriousness, "But, Tyra, he's the bad guy. — Kristen Ashley

In the old legends, Arachne had gotten into trouble because of pride. She'd bragged about her tapestries being better than Athena's, which had led to Mount Olympus's first reality TV punishment program: 'So You Think You Can Weave Better Than a Goddess?' Arachne had lost in a big way. — Rick Riordan

My father is doing a radio program - classical music. He has a beautiful speaking voice and that's his passion in life, his music. My mother lives in Melbourne and is an avid photographer. She's also started writing for a magazine out there and she submits poems, very funny ones, and articles. In some way or other, my family is always doing something with the media. — Olivia Newton-John