Profound Funny Birthday Quotes & Sayings

The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It's a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect. — P. J. O'Rourke

When a thing is denied, the very denial involves something not denied. — D.T. Suzuki

I personally believe that one learns to write by writing. — Jack Jordan

God doesn't want all of us to relinquish all of our material possessions. — Echo Bodine

She was attractive, but so was everyone in this kind of light; the longer the wavelength, the softer the focus. There's a reason fuckcubbies don't come with fluorescent lights. — Peter Watts

Our responsibility as Christians makes us tremble. The northern hemisphere, the developed area of the world, the 20% who possess 80% of the world's resources, are of Christian origin. What impression can our African and Asian brethren and the masses in Latin America have of Christianity, if the tree is to be judged by its fruits? For we Christians are largely responsible for the unjust world in which we live. — Helder Camara

Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it. — Jeff Foxworthy

Take ownership of your life decisions rather than relinquishing that responsibility to others. — Frank Sonnenberg

Here the people seem to possess the secret of tranquility and to live lives of more than surface contentment. — Louise Dickinson Rich

And frankly, I don't understand - I mean, I'm obviously a card-carrying Democrat - but I can't understand why any woman would want to vote for Mitt Romney, except maybe Mrs. Romney. — Madeleine Albright

I should much rather see reasonable agreement with the Arabs on the basis of living together in peace than the creation of a Jewish state. My awareness of the essential nature of Judaism resists the idea of a Jewish state with borders, an army, and a measure of temporal power, no matter how modest. I am afraid of the inner damage Judaism will sustain - especially from the development of a narrow nationalism within our own ranks, against which we have already had to fight strongly, even without a Jewish state. — Albert Einstein

Like a kaleidoscope which is every now and then given a turn, society arranges successively in different orders elements which one would have supposed immutable, and composes a new pattern. — Marcel Proust

You've been through all of F. Scott Fitzgerald's books, you're very well read, it's well known. — Bob Dylan