Proctologist Quotes & Sayings

Rectory always sounded to me like a place you would find a proctologist. — Jeff Lindsay

Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was true, then a proctologist would be an astronaut. — Robert Schimmel

When you think about it, there is really a fine line between being a proctologist and just being a perverted ass-freak. And according to the judge who sentenced me, that line is called a 'medical degree'. — Brad Wilkerson

I thought about TimeBlaze. We should ... shorten the titles. The titles are getting long. More colons than a proctologist. — D.C. Pierson

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth. — Rodney Dangerfield

As a journalist, I can also now understand his (Patrick O'Brian's)idea that the Q&A is not particularly civilized - let alone a sports media press scrum. The formats don't necessarily further understanding between two people. It is not always true conversation - a discussion that unearths nuggets of insight. It too often seems like interviewers are running through a pre-fab checklist, looking for a Tweetable quote, trolling for a gaffe, or ticking off pre-conceived points like those on a medical checklist at the doctor's office. It can feel invasive, like a trip to the proctologist - in front of an audience. — Knute Berger

What kind of work do you do," I asked.
"Promise you won't laugh?"
"Promise."
"I'm a proctologist."
I couldn't help it. I laughed a little. "An ass doctor? — Buffy Andrews

By noon that day I was painfully aware of how many people needed the services of an entomologist/proctologist. AArdvarks — Ken Montrose

Seattle, the mild green queen: wet and willing, cedar-scented, and crowned with slough grass, her toadstool scepter tilted toward Asia, her face turned ever upward in the rain; the sovereign who washes her hands more persistently than the most fastidious proctologist. — Tom Robbins

I don't know how doctors pick one specialty over another. Some you can understand. Pediatricians. Or gynecologists delivering babies, bringing a new life into the world, but how does someone want to be a proctologist? How can you fall in love with proctology? — Bob Newhart

Mortgage securities. Pooled together from thousands of mortgages around the United States, these bonds are issued by agencies like the Federal National Mortgage Association ("Fannie Mae") or the Government National Mortgage Association ("Ginnie Mae"). However, they are not backed by the U.S. Treasury, so they sell at higher yields to reflect their greater risk. Mortgage bonds generally underperform when interest rates fall and bomb when rates rise. (Over the long run, those swings tend to even out and the higher average yields pay off.) Good mortgage-bond funds are available from Vanguard, Fidelity, and Pimco. But if a broker ever tries to sell you an individual mortgage bond or "CMO," tell him you are late for an appointment with your proctologist. — Benjamin Graham

My proctologist keeps in better touch than you do.
- Knox — Dannika Dark

Transform yourself from desperate doormat to outspoken doormat-wielding proctologist. — Marla Buchanan

My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that's how I view the world. — Sandra Bernhard

Climate deniers are clearly the fringe group and need to see a proctologist to find their heads. — Vinod Khosla