Quotes & Sayings About Premature Ejaculation

It's often the way that people who take their work seriously laugh at stupid jokes; it's as if they are under-humored and, as a consequence, suffer from premature laugh-ejaculation. — Nick Hornby

They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up! — Frankie Boyle

Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem! — Frankie Boyle

Cade Winston, by drinking this shot, you hereby swear to do something out of character tonight. Should you fail, you'll be cused to a lifetime filled with premature ejaculation.'
'Seriously, man?'
He held up his hands and laughed, 'Hey, the alcohol gods giveth and they taketh away. — Cora Carmack

We, with our propensity for murder, torture, slavery, rape, cannibalism, pillage, advertising jingles, shag carpets, and golf, how could we be seriously considered as the perfection of a four-billion-year-old grandiose experiment? perhaps as a race, we have evolved as far as we are capable, yet that by no means suggests that evolution has called it quits. in all likelihood, it has something beyond human on the drawing board. we tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as "inhuman," whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities. this negates neither our occasional virtues nor our aesthetic triumphs, but if a being at least a little bit more than human is not waiting around the bend of time then evolution has suffered a premature ejaculation. — Tom Robbins

The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation ... but I hear that it's coming quickly. — Mel Brooks

Say what you want, princess. You are a recipe for premature ejaculation, if I've ever seen one. — Rosanna Leo

Girls say they like a sensitive man, but then they complain about my premature ejaculation. — Tom Sims

Outside of muttering his way through Sunday service, Aaron had not voiced a conscious prayer in more than ten years. He supposed it wouldn't help his chances in the hereafter if he returned to the fold with Saints preserve me from premature ejaculation. No matter how sincerely uttered. — Tessa Dare

So my wife said she read this article in a magazine and she said: You know, maybe you're suffering from premature ejaculation. Yeah, does it look like I'm suffering? Those aren't tears on your belly. — Robert Schimmel

The impatient man of courage is like a premature ejaculation. — Elizaveta Mikhailichenko

I jest, of course; premature ejaculation isn't a laughing matter for anyone, except for your friends when you tell them about it on the phone the next morning. My first marriage ended because the main event was invariably over before my husband got his socks off. — Julie Burchill

A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants." — Tommy Cooper

You cracked up. You were looking at me and laughing.
And I said, What? And you said, I love you.
And we were both completely shocked. Because it was a little premature, surely.
And you said it again, as though you were checking the flavor, and it tasted perfectly right. You said it again, softly, I love you; you were looking right into my heart. You said it again, almost shouting. And you were laughing and it was as though you were so happy you couldn't believe that someone had given you this good thing.
And it was partly that, and it was partly because you were thinking you'd had a premature decision, whereas guys your age were more generally associated with premature ejaculation. As well as inability to speak girl and commitment problems to anything other than games with buttons.
And the best part was when you said, You love me, too. And all I had to do was nod. Because it was true. — Fiona Wood

Since many men believe that adequate sexual functioning is being able to delay ejaculation, some develop strategies to prevent what they consider to be premature ejaculation-strategies that exaggerate emotional distancing, phallocentrism, the focus on orgasm, and objectification. — Michael S. Kimmel