Physics Jokes Quotes & Sayings

For all the clever jokes that could be made here involving "mind" and "matter" there is one sure and certain variation you can take with you to the grave: "In the grand scheme of things you don't matter very much, and the laws of physics don't mind at all. — Patrick E. McLean

I would love to spend my whole career in Scan Diego because I accept the challenge of turning this team around. — LaDainian Tomlinson

There's a lot of thievery involved in writing. You're breaking into other people's spaces and other people's stories. — Michael Ondaatje

Among many, many others, the following things were definitely not interesting: the pupillary sphincter, mitosis, baroque architecture, jokes that have physics equations as punch lines, the British monarchy, Russian grammar, and the significant role that salt has played in human history. — John Green

You watch an old 'Jeopardy!' and the categories alone are very plain. 'Poetry,' or 'Movies,' or 'Physics.' If you watch it now, though, there'll be a theme board where the categories are all Hitchcock movies. Lots more jokes, lots more high-concept categories and questions. — Ken Jennings

A complex society is not necessarily more advanced than a simple one; it has just adapted to conditions in a more complicated way. — Peter Farb

I have a problem with telling jokes about physics. Quite often the audience have no idea what you are talking about and, to be honest, I don't know what I'm talking about either. — Robin Ince

I don't know if experimental is a word I would ever use comfortably. — Jeff Tweedy

A billion neutrinos go swimming in heavy water: one gets wet. — Michael Kamakana

Take your place, then. Look at what happened from every side and consider all the other ways it could have gone. Consider, even, an Africa unconquered altogether. Imagine those first Portuguese adventurers approaching the shore, spying on the jungle's edge through their fitted brass lenses. Imagine that by some miracle of dread or reverence they lowered their spyglasses, turned, set their riggings, sailed on. Imagine all who came after doing the same. What would that Africa be now? All I can think of is the other okapi, the one they used to believe in. A unicorn that could look you in the eye. — Barbara Kingsolver

Say what you like about my bloody murderous government,' I says, 'but don't insult me poor bleedin' country. — Edward Abbey

If a guy can't handle it when you talk about quantum physics, Manga, or Dungeons and Dragons, then he probably isn't the guy for you. If he gets embarrassed by your bluntness, you're probably not a good match. If he doesn't get your jokes, references, etc., then do you really want to pursue it? We tend to feel flawed and want to change ourselves to be accepted. We are good mimics and we think that we can mimic being the kind of girl that guys will like. By all means work on yourself, but most important, be yourself. — Rudy Simone

The story of The Doors is one of the most compelling in the history of American rock music; three hugely talented musicians and a lead singer whose commitment to artistic freedom was so intense he rocketed them to a success that always hovered on the edge of chaos. As an independent filmmaker this sensibility affected me greatly. — Tom DiCillo

13 Among many, many others, the following things were definitely not interesting: the pupillary sphincter, mitosis, baroque architecture, jokes that have physics — John Green