Quotes & Sayings About Peanut Butter

You know, I've been thinking. Everybody makes peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches, but usually the jelly drips over the side and the guys hands get
all sticky, but your jelly stays right in the middle where it's supposed to.
I don't know how you do it, you've just got a gift, I guess. I've always
thought so. I just never mentioned it, but it's time you know how I feel -
I don't believe in keeping feelings bottled up. Good bye, my wife. — Homer

I think that the FDA has not been able to catch some of these things as quickly as I expect them to catch. And so we're gonna be doing a complete review of FDA operations ... at bare minimum, we should be able to count on our government keeping our kids safe when they eat peanut butter ... that's what Sasha eats for - for lunch - probably three times a week. — Barack Obama

I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter. — Dana Gould

Can you, like, see invisible people, too?"
"No," Warner says to him, eyes focused in front of him. "I can feel your presence. Hers, most of all."
"Really?" Kenji says. "That's some weird shit. What do I feel like? Peanut butter?"
Warner is unamused. — Tahereh Mafi

Hope I never love someone so much that they could hurt me the way Langston was hurt, so wounded all he could do was cry and mope around the house and ask me to make him peanut butter and banana sandwiches with the crusts cut off, then play Boggle with him, which of course I always did, because I usually do whatever Langston wants me to do. — Rachel Cohn

2 chicken breasts ½ cup chunky peanut butter ½ cup fish sauce ¼ cup freshly squeezed lime juice 2 tablespoons palm sugar 2 tablespoons Sriracha 2 cups water 1 package pad thai noodles ½ pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined ¼ cup bean sprouts ¼ cup sliced scallions Crushed peanuts, for garnish — Rockridge Press

86. I get angry when believers unhesitatingly attribute every good thing in the world to God - and then respond to bad things by saying, "God works in mysterious ways." If God's ways are so mysterious, and we can't begin to understand his thinking behind tsunamis and drought and pediatric cancer, then what makes you think you understand his intentions when it comes to pretty sunsets or cute puppies or helping you find the peanut butter? — Greta Christina

The brown bag, of course, had its imperfections. While some kids carried roast beef sandwiches, others had peanut butter. I have no way of knowing if all of those brown bags contained 'nutritionally adequate diets.' But I do know that those brown bags and those lunch pails symbolized parental love and responsibility. — Charles Mathias

I cannot walk past Peanut Butter M&Ms and Oreos. — Horatio Sanz

Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people, want to be accepted. It's one of the few things we have in common. My whole life, all I ever wanted was my dad to pat me on the top of the head and go, Who's a good boy ? Who's a good boy? But, instead, all he ever did was wipe peanut butter on the end of my nose and laugh while I tried to lick it off. — Christopher Titus

Peanut butter is my frenemy. — Coco J. Ginger

I called my pilot 2 weeks before I flew and asked him, I don't want to get sick, what should I eat? He said, Peanut Butter. I said, If I eat peanut butter then I won't get sick? He said, no, but it tastes the same comin' up as it does goin' down. — Bill Engvall

There's an organic grocery store just off the highway exit. I can't remember the last time I went shopping for food." A smile glittered in his eyes. "I might have gone overboard."
I walked into the kitchen, with gleaming stainless-steel appliances, black granite countertops, and walnut cabinetry. Very masculine, very sleek. I went for the fridge first. Water bottles, spinach and arugula, mushrooms, gingerroot, Gorgonzola and feta cheeses, natural peanut butter, and milk on one side. Hot dogs, cold cuts, Coke, chocolate pudding cups, and canned whipped cream on the other. I tried to picture Patch pushing a shopping cart down the aisle, tossing in food as it pleased him. It was all I could do to keep a straight face. — Becca Fitzpatrick

Do you want to make a tamale with peanut butter and jelly? Go Ahead! Somebody will eat it. — Bobby Flay

I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies. Two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together - like chocolate and peanut butter ... — Sarah Jessica Parker

Jaime Cortae. Thirteen. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Lover of peanut butter. Sometime angel, sometime mischief maker. Always Jaime. — Kat Zhang

Peanut butter is my favorite food."
Rivers looks at me for a long time, finally shaking his head. He moves to my side, reclining next tome. "Peanut butter is not food."
"Then what is it?"
"I don't know. A condiment. Like ketchup or mustard."
"Really, Rivers? Do you put peanut butter on a hamburger?"
"Do you eat it plain?" he shoots back.
"Yes."
"Okay, do most people eat it plain? — Lindy Zart

Been lickin' peanut-butter spoons? Maybe I should call you butterfingers. It has a better ring than Hella Shella. - Tran
'Answer my question, Tran. Right now. Or I show you just what these fingers'
I wiggled my fingers under his nose
'can really do.' I took a step closer, erasing the distance between us. 'And let me tell you, emo boy, you are not going to like it. Let's just say, that peanut butter I ate, freshly made.' I licked my lips with care. 'I'm actually quite skilled when it comes to crushing nuts.' - Shella — Krista Alasti

I'm not sure,' I said. 'I had a pretty bad reaction to a peanut butter cracker when I was three. A woman at my daycare had to use an EpiPen.'
'Does it freak you out?' Hershey asked. 'Knowing that you're one poor snacking choice away from death?'
I looked at her. Seriously? Who said things like that? — Lauren Miller

I love making smoothies post-workout. My favorite - depending on the day - is either a chocolate whey protein shake with banana and peanut butter, or one with vanilla and berries. — Parker Young

Sherlock said, 'He eats Cheerios for breakfast with our son, Sean,' and smiled. 'I eat a slice of wheat toast with crunchy peanut butter. — Catherine Coulter

We got peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and raisins, and a delicate peanut butter/peanut butter combination. These come crunchy or smooth, on Wonder Bread, hand-squished flat on the plate or not, as you prefer. The special today is our famous peanut butter and banana sandwich. It comes on Wonder Bread, cut diagonal on the plate, with crust or without. What can I start you with? — Sheila Turnage

There's an entirely new world opening up for you right now. A dangerous and occasionally sickening and cruel world, but a world filled with Cajun bounty hunters and lively conversation about peanut butter." "You do make it sound so glamorous, what with the peanut butter and all. — Chloe Neill

What I mean to say is that you can make a choice, be reasonably satisfied with it, and still regret that which you did not choose. Maybe it's like ordering dessert. You have it narrowed down to either a warm peanut butter torte or strawberries jubilee. You choose the torte, and it's delicious. But you still wonder about those strawberries... — Gabrielle Zevin

Language-lovers know that there is a word for every fear. Are you afraid of wine? Then you have oenophobia. Tremulous about train travel? You suffer from siderodromophobia. Having misgivings about your mother-in-law is pentheraphobia, and being petrified of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth is arachibutyrophobia. And then there's Franklin Delano Roosevelt's affliction, the fear of fear itself, or phobophobia. — Steven Pinker

I'd walk into the school, smell that institutional smell of the tomato soup, peanut butter, disinfectant, and boys room. Pass the lunchroom, see the familiar lunchroom lady with the white dress and net on her hair. At the end of 50 years of distinguished service the Board of Education gives her a bronze net - with her name on it. It stems from the Board of Education rule to keep her hair out of the food. — Robert Klein

While it's true that you may lose your religion during the course of a lifetime, you never lose your salvation. Once you let Jesus in your kitchen, he just keeps on making peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and he never leaves. — Cathleen Falsani

I liked peanut butter. Peanut butter never got another woman pregnant. Peanut butter never made me cry. Nobody cared if you were photographed in a club with a jar of Jif. — R.S. Grey

Is Tyson okay?" I asked. The question seemed to take my dad by surprise. He's fine. Doing much better than I expected. Though "peanut butter" is a strange battle cry. "You let him fight?" Stop changing the subject! You realize what you are asking me to do? My palace will be destroyed. "And Olympus might be saved." Do you have any idea how long I've worked on remodeling this palace? The game room alone took six hundred years. "Dad - " Very well! It shall be as you say. But my son, pray this works. "I am praying. I'm talking to you, right?" Oh ... yes. Good point. — Rick Riordan

You lied about knowing me. You could lie about anything. People lie all the time, usually for no reason whatsoever. (Aiden)
But I'm not lying about being hungry. Could you toss me a piece of bread before the interrogation continues? Or do I have to beat your butt for a spoonful of peanut butter? (Leta) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

The abnormally large female cut the sandwich into four pieces and gave one to each before taking one for herself. They all took a bite and she grinned at their appreciative groans. "See?" she said around a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly. "Isn't that good?"
"And so decadent," Berg sighed. "I feel like I'm eating evil. Pure, unadulterated evil."
"But good evil," Finn added. "The finest evil ever."
"Come!" Carl, the unabashed history fan and future historical "re-creator" of the lot - an activity Irene had always thought was an incredible waste of time for any human being with a brain - cried out,"Let us tell the others of this glory and what we have learned here today from the enemy She-wolf!"
"Huzzah!" they all cheered and ran out the kitchen back door. — Shelly Laurenston

I've been craving peanut butter-and-mayonnaise fried cheese sandwiches. — Anna Nicole Smith

Believe me, I understand the need for easy and speedy. After a 12-hour day of shooting 'Chopped,' say, I'm talking stir-fry, spaghetti, heck, peanut-butter sandwiches. But that's not about the joy of food. That's survival. — Ted Allen

Went home briefly to get my halter dress for Hero's party, and Mom was waiting for me at the kitchen table. Either she's psychic, or she totally reads my journal, because I haven't said a word about Ben, but somehow she knows something is up.
She was siting with a tray of peanut butter crackers, milk, and about twenty pamphlets on STDs she got from her friend Connie, a nurse at Kaiser. When she started showing me pictures of genital warts, I put my cracker down and said, 'Mom, is this really necessary?' She said, 'Honey, I just want you to understand the risks.'
'Yeah, thanks. Now I'm so traumatized I won't have sex until I'm a senior citizen.'
She smiled. 'Great. I guess I've done my job then. Do you want a sandwich. — Jody Gehrman

What I love is a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. I'll just have peanut butter and bananas, then peanut butter and pickles. Peanut butter and chocolate I don't recommend. — Dianne Wiest

Occasionally, in the stillness of a taxi or an airplane, she would catalog the pleasures she had lost. Cigarettes. Chewing gum. Strong mint toothpaste. Any food with hard edges or sharp corners that could pierce or abrade the inside of her mouth: potato chips, croutons, crunchy peanut butter. Any food that was more than infinitesimally, protozoically, spicy or tangy or salty or acidic: pesto or Worcestershire sauce, wasabi or anchovies, tomato juice or movie-theater popcorn. Certain pamphlets and magazines whose paper carried a caustic wafting chemical scent she could taste as she turned the pages. Perfume. Incense. Library books. Long hours of easy conversation. The ability to lick an envelope without worrying that the glue had irritated her mouth. The knowledge that if she heard a song she liked, she could sing along to it in all her dreadful jubilant tunelessness. The faith that if she bit her tongue, she would soon feel better rather than worse. — Kevin Brockmeier

I just knew Jax. The sweet guy who wanted to go into a grocery store and buy himself a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and took the time to be kind to little girls. — Abbi Glines

I loved being so consumed by Will. Adored it. But I kind of hated it too, because I felt like a huge part of myself had been wrested from my control. I mean, sometimes you just want to make a peanut butter sandwich without being overcome by your own passion, you know? — Michelle Dalton

I never really ate greens, what I always did do was I always ate peanut butter and honey and I ate it all day. There's not much nutritional value in that. I just love peanut butter and I love honey so I just put them together. — Chris Weidman

Let me also say I wanna make you sandwhiches,
And soup,
And peanut butter cookies,
Though, the truth is peanutbutter is actually really bad for you 'cause they grow peanuts in old cotton fields to clean the toxins out of the soil,
But hey, you like peanutbutter and I like you! — Andrea Gibson

The best dog training was based on the reward system. You did not punish a dog for doing wrong, you rewarded the dog for doing right. The dog did something you wanted, you reinforced the behavior with a reward - pet'm, tell'm they're a good dog, let'm play with a toy. The standard reward for a K-9 working dog was a hard plastic ball with a hole drilled through it where Leland liked to smear a little peanut butter. — Robert Crais

Peanut butter, or turkey?"
"Turkey. Soft on the mayo, extra mustard."
Rick lifted an eyebrow at her. "Do I look like a cook?"
"You do until Vilseau comes back. Because anything beyond microwave pizza is your territory, sweetheart."
With a grin he began slathering mustard on one of the slices of bread. "Wonderful. So now I have to negotiate a multimillion-dollar deal and cook? Do you want tomatoes?"
"Hell, yes, my darlin'."
"Ahem. Innocent bystander trying not to barf over here." Stoney waved a hand at them from the doorway. "What's the gig?"
"Food first. Do you want Rick to make you a sandwich?"
"Hey," Rick protested. — Suzanne Enoch

I'm a total protein shake junkie nerd. I get creative every morning - you never know what you're gonna get in my shake ... fruit? Peanut butter? Ice-cream? — Christina Perri

I ran through the store gathering together some basic foods. Bread, cheese, Tastykakes, peanut butter, cereal, milk, Tastykakes, eggs, frozen pizza, Tastykakes, orange juice, apples, lunch meat, and Tastykakes. — Janet Evanovich

I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog's. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt. — Blythe Baird

Yay!' he said. 'Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM! — Rick Riordan

Today is your big moment. Moments, really. The life you've been waiting for is happening all around you. The scene unfolding right outside your window is worth more than the most beautiful painting, and the crackers and peanut butter that you're having for lunch on the coffee table are as profound, in their own way, as the Last Supper. This is it. This is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. But pull off the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted. -Cold Tangerines — Shauna Niequist

Tripp was my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my soul mate. He was the salt to my pepper. He was the peanut butter to my chocolate. He gave me love and hope and joy. Together we created our three beautiful girls and together we looked at the world as ours to conquer. In short, he was my other half; the part that completed me. — Kathryn McNeill Crane

Q: What do peanut butter and hookers have in common? A: Both spread for bread. — Evelyn Beilenson

I probably should have restrained myself. Graham had been perfectly normal all morning, but after an evening of dreaming up revenge scenarios, I couldn't help myself when presented with such an easy opportunity. Besides, he had told me to get inventive. The "sandwich" I made Graham had six different types of meat including one mystery one, plus peanut butter, plus marshmallow spread, plus mayonnaise, hot sauce, and raisins. Graham — Jen Malone

You can always trust a dog that likes peanut butter. — Kate DiCamillo

The reason we were with Mama that day was because it was a snow day. School was canceled, but we were too little to stay alone in our apartment while Mama went to work - which she did, through snow and sleet and probably also earthquakes and Armageddon. She muttered, stuffing us into our snowsuits and boots, that it didn't matter if she had to cross a blizzard to do it, but God forbid Ms. Mina had to spread the peanut butter on her own sandwich bread. In fact the only time I remember Mama taking time off work was twenty-five years later, when she had a double hip replacement, generously paid for by the Hallowells. She stayed home for a week, and even after that, when it didn't quite heal right and she insisted on returning to work, Mina found her tasks to do that kept her off her feet. But when I was little, during school vacations and bouts of fever and snow days like this one, Mama would take us with her on the B train downtown. Mr. — Jodi Picoult

I would bet the most perfect peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich ever assembled that there are more well-adjusted people around today than people who aren't and I think it is damn tragic more of us do not appear in books. 3 symbiosis, n. — Glendon Swarthout

My love for peanut butter is so deep that I can't look at a jar without devouring it! — Monica DiNatale

This isn't like peanut butter. You can't just add nuts and make me chunky. — Anyta Sunday

Peanut butter and lamb chops were not foods that had ever been a significant part of our life before pregnancy. In fact, my wife almost never ate either.So where did these craving come from? I concluded it's the baby, ordering in. — Paul Reiser

Kuh-laire, Is cam a fattening Girl Scout Cookie layered with peanut butter and a chocolate coating?
No.
Then dont make him a tagalong! — Lisi Harrison

Peanuts/Peanut Butter — Jonny Bowden

The soft aroma of old worn cotton from a linen chest, the lingering smell of tobacco on an angora sweater; Jergen's hand lotion, sauteed green peppers and onions; the sweet, nutty smell of peanut butter and bananas, the oaken smell of good bourbon. A combination of lily of the valley, cedar, vanilla, and somewhere, the lingering of old rose. These smells are older than any thought. Mama, Teensy, Neecie, and Caro, each one of them had an individual scent, to be sure. But this is the Gumbo of their scents. This is the Gumbo Ya-Ya. This is the internal vial of perfume I carry with me everywhere I go. — Rebecca Wells

You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity. — J. B. Smoove

I got out my jar of ointment. I knew animators who had special containers for the ointment. Crockery, hand-blown glass, mystical symbols carved into the sides. I used an old Mason jar that had once held Grandma Blake's green beans.
Larry fished out a peanut butter jar with the label still on it. Extra-crunchy. Yum-Yum. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Probably? So you're asking me to trust my life to steel wool and peanut butter?"
"Poisoned peanut butter."
"Cal, I don't care if it's nuclear peanut butter. — Scott Westerfeld

I love carrot cake - that's probably my favorite - and I'm obsessed with peanut butter. I eat anything with peanut butter - maybe not carrot cake with peanut butter - but, I think I got this from 'The Parent Trap': Oreos and peanut butter; I like that. And peanut butter and apples, peanut butter and chocolate. — Jacquelyn Jablonski

I start off my morning with an Acai berry smoothie. I blend the Acai berries with kefir, blueberries, protein powder and peanut butter. I like this first thing in the morning because it's light on my stomach. — Charity Shea

I'm a child because I like peanut butter? — Jodi Ellen Malpas

He kept his eyes on the road as he drove slowly toward the inn. Slowly, as in a-herd-of-turtles-stampeding-through-peanut-butter slowly. The guy didn't pass a single indent in the road that didn't require a nearly complete stop. — Jill Shalvis

I don't know what you think of me. And you certainly would never picture us together. But probably peanut butter was just peanut butter for a long time, before someone ever thought of pairing it with jelly. And there was salt, but it started to taste better when there was pepper. And what's the point of butter without bread? (Why are all these examples of FOODS?!!?!?!?!?!?!) Anyway by myself I'm nothing special. But with you I could be. — Jodi Picoult

Tyson okay?" I asked. The question seemed to take my dad by surprise. He's fine. Doing much better than I expected. Though "peanut butter" is a strange battle cry. "You let him fight?" Stop changing the subject! You realize what you are asking me to do? My palace will be destroyed. "And Olympus might be saved." Do you have any idea how long I've worked on remodeling this palace? The game room alone took six hundred years. "Dad - " Very well! It shall be as you say. But my son, pray this works. "I am praying. I'm talking to you, right? — Rick Riordan

Ask if they have peanut butter. — Jodi Ellen Malpas

I didn't know that my son had allergies until he spit up eggs one day, and one day he had a little peanut butter and his face swelled up. I took him to get tested and found out that he is allergic to everything. — Kym Whitley

Mom brought me some peanut butter cookies and a biography of Judy Garland. She told me she thought my problem was that I was too impatient, my fuse was too short, that I was only interested in instant gratification. I said, "Instant gratification takes too long." The glib martyr. — Carrie Fisher

I'm just grateful that my body is healthy. I want to be on this planet for a long time, so I try to eat things that make me feel good and make me strong. But I also love food and I love life: Some days having that extra bowl of pasta and a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup means more to me than being thin. — Mariska Hargitay

The strangest request I have encountered was that of a first-time mother who - just before pushing - asked her husband for a jar of peanut butter and proceeded to eat two heaping table-spoonfuls. She then washed the peanut butter down with nearly a quart of raspberry leaf tea and pushed her baby out. I was impressed. — Ina May Gaskin

Just to make things perfectly clear between us, you can have my peanut butter, but my bed is off-limits. — Michelle Rowen

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter. — Bill Cosby

An entire aisle of cereal...hundreds of choices....Of course I had eaten cereal before. I'm not a savage....Cereal was a small, affordable luxury. An effort. A point of pride. Something special....Those crates of cereal meant that we deserved what others do not.... Here the choices that stand before me in the store aisles seem to exist only to mock me. Cereal isn't a luxury...the boxes laugh at me...Two aisles down I count 27 varieties of peanut butter....it is really necessary? — J.C. Carleson

I have no idea why a guy would bring a jar of peanut butter to a concert. — Iggy Pop

I've always wanted to like, swim in a swimming pool filled with peanut butter — Jesse McCartney

I was just slipping my pajama top over my head when I heard Ren bellow, YOU ate ALL of my peanut ... butter ... COOKIES? — Colleen Houck

It's like peanut butter and chocolate. Each is great, but they're better together. — Richard Whitehead

I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived. — Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Yeah," he said. "When Tina came home, I made her peanut butter crackers. — Stephen King

Colleen do you like doing this to your fans i cant even eat peanut butter in peace without thinking of Ren loves peanut butter. If i see white or black or hear forests and monkeys and waterfalls I go nuts!!!!!! — Nandanie Phalgoo

To Beth>> Your meet-cute would have gone like this, "Hey, you got chocolate in my peanut butter!" / "Sorry, I have a boyfriend." Also, I feel like I should point out that it was freezing rain. Freezing rain isn't cute. — Rainbow Rowell

I've long thought that for my last meal on earth I will be perfectly happy with a granary loaf toastie with melted crunchy peanut butter and banana. — Tamsin Greig

I fail to see why you did not understand that groceryman, he did not call it "ground ground nuts," he called it "ground ground-nuts" which is the only really SENSible thing to call it. Peanuts grow in the GROUND and are therefore GROUND-nuts, and after you take them out of the ground you grind them up and you have ground ground-nuts, which is a much more accurate name than peanut butter, you just don't understand English. — Helene Hanff

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. — Billy Joel

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. — Charlie Brown

I learned a lot of details about 1920s clothes, cars, kitchen appliances, and food. I had a character eating peanut butter in one scene until I learned that peanut butter wasn't commercially packaged and sold until 1924. — Laura Moriarty

The great social, moral, and spiritual battles of the ages boiled down to Sandy McDougall slamming her snot-nosed kid in the corner and the kid would grow up and slam his own kid in the corner, world without end, hallelujah, chunky peanut butter. Hail Mary, full of grace, help me win this stock-car race. — Stephen King

I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything. — Patton Oswalt

I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?" — Brian Regan

You don't know. You've never been married and divorced. Everything is insurmountable when you're married. The fact that you want to talk at the breakfast table and he insists on reading his paper is insurmountable. Leaving the seat up on the toilet is insurmountable. Getting peanut butter in the jelly jar is insurmountable. People don't change just because they're married. All those little habits and personality quirks that you previously thought were trivial become the bane of your existence. And the major problems, like different outlooks on life, are crushing. — Janet Evanovich

Your mom said to say I could have just one peanut butter square but not til after they cool down. — Breehn Burns

Fire isn't flavor, but the Big Green Egg, that ingenious ceramic capsule of goodness, that Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of cookout equipment, both grill and smoker - God bless! - was — T. Geronimo Johnson

I look just like one of Brianna's UGLY finger paintings. Because now I'm completely covered with: 1. brown peanut-butter stains 2. purple jelly stains 3. white soap suds AND 4. bright fluorescent-green hand soap from the girls' bathroom. — Rachel Renee Russell

AAAAAAAAAAHHH !! (That was me screaming in frustration!) I can't believe I overslept! AGAIN! Now I'm probably going to be late for school! WHY?!! Because my bratty little sister, Brianna, has been sneaking into my bedroom at night and stealing my alarm clock! She's been using it to get up extra early to make a peanut butter, jelly, and pickle sandwich to take to school for lunch. YES! She actually adds PICKLES! I don't know which is more NAUSEATING, Brianna or her disgusting sandwich! Anyway, now I have less than three minutes to shower, shampoo, brush, dress, pack, eat, gloss, and GO! This is how my very CRUDDY day began. . . . — Rachel Renee Russell

Any kind of peanut butter/chocolate concoction is my jam. — Floriana Lima

All I know is wherever you are, I'm gonna be, because we belong together. We're like two peas in a pod. Like peanut butter and jelly, or macaroni and cheese. — J.M. Darhower

What's a meet-cute? It's the moment in a movie when the romantic leads meet. They never just meet normally. It's never like, "Harry, meet Sally. Sally, this is Harry." They always meet in a cute way, like, "Hey, you just got chocolate in my peanut butter!" / "What are you talking about? You just got peanut butter in my chocolate! — Rainbow Rowell