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Party Funny Quotes & Sayings

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Top Party Funny Quotes

Party Funny Quotes By Marc Maron

I've had this look for about a year. I usually grow this beard out around Christmas. I like to go to malls dressed as Jesus, and I like to then walk around the mall and go, 'No! No! This wasn't what it was supposed to be about, people!' Then if there's a Santa at the mall, I walk up to him and say, 'Listen, fat man, you're just a clown at my birthday party.' — Marc Maron

Party Funny Quotes By Brandice Snowden Demon's Veil

I Don't care which president is sucking your dick at the moment, I will not be a party to the killing of innocent men! — Brandice Snowden Demon's Veil

Party Funny Quotes By Laurie Halse Anderson

I just thought of a great theory that explains everything. When I went to that party, I was abducted by aliens. They have created a fake Earth and fake high school to study me and my reactions. This certainly explains cafeteria food. — Laurie Halse Anderson

Party Funny Quotes By Gillian Flynn

That night at the Brooklyn party, I was playing the girl who was in style, the girl a man like Nick wants: the Cool Girl. Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. — Gillian Flynn

Party Funny Quotes By Elizabeth Chandler

Actually, I came because I have a last-minute invitation. My friend Erika Gill is having a big party tomorrow night, one of those all-out birthday bashes that girls like. Want to go?"
"No. Sorry."
"Since it's a catered thing, at a restaurant, I'll pick you up at- what did you say?"
"I'm sorry. I can't do it."
"You're busy?"
"I just can't do it," I said. — Elizabeth Chandler

Party Funny Quotes By Daniel Amory

This is so funny," said Ellen, noticing the seating arrangement. "Isn't this funny? Tom, come sit next to Robin. Griffin, sit next to Laura."
I stood up and sat next to Robin while Griffin brought his chair over to Laura.
"That's better," said Ellen. "Isn't that better? — Daniel Amory

Party Funny Quotes By Ned Vizzini

The party line is that some of the most profound truths about us are things that we stop saying in the middle, but i think they do it to make us feel important — Ned Vizzini

Party Funny Quotes By Kim Basinger

I'm all for anybody having a party who wants that. The funny thing about me and birthdays or any kind of celebration where it brings attention to you in that way is that it's never been anything that I've thoroughly enjoyed - even as a little kid. — Kim Basinger

Party Funny Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

JOE HELLER

True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.

I said, "Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel 'Catch-22'
has earned in its entire history?"
And Joe said, "I've got something he can never have."
And I said, "What on earth could that be, Joe?"
And Joe said, "The knowledge that I've got enough."
Not bad! Rest in peace! — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Party Funny Quotes By Joss Stirling

Xav sprinkled olive oil on his lettuce. 'Lola was very particular that it all had to fit properly.'
'Lola?' squeaked Diamond. I wanted to warn her not to rise to the bait Xav was dangling in front of her but it was too late.
Xav added some Parmesan and pepper. 'Suspicious, Diamond? You should be. This is a bachelor party I'm organizing, not a school outing, and it is going to tick all of Trace's boxes. Lola is either a very efficient water sports instructor or an exotic dancing girl; I'll leave it your imagination.'
I rolled my eyes at Diamond. 'Myabe she's both. I mean the guys will really go for that, I guess. Don't worry,Di, Luigi and his crew will not disappoint us girls.' Luigi was in fact Contessa Nicoletta's little bespectacled chef with whom I had been consulting about the menu for Friday, but the Benedicts weren't to know that. 'He has promised to provide something suitably spicy for our tastes. — Joss Stirling

Party Funny Quotes By Karan Johar

I am always acting, be at a party, at work or in office. My attitude changes from meeting to meeting, from being serious to intense to funny, depending on who is in the room. — Karan Johar

Party Funny Quotes By Wes Locher

The first way not to shake hands is executed by receiving someone's hand in yours and proceeding to squeeze it tightly, hurting the other party as if they were responsible for a past death in your family, or your adoption as a child. — Wes Locher

Party Funny Quotes By Catherynne M Valente

And the funny, impish magic of a wrap party is that everyone still has scraps of their characters hanging off them like Salome's veils, fluttering, fading, but not quite finished tangling the tongue and tripping the feet. You're not in Wonderland anymore, but you positively reek of rabbit. — Catherynne M Valente

Party Funny Quotes By Fred Hampton

Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes. This is a constitutional right everybody has, and nothing's funny about that. The only reason they get mad at the Black Panther Party when you do it is for the simple reason that we're political. — Fred Hampton

Party Funny Quotes By Steven Tyler

This is the only thing that has seen more parties than us. — Steven Tyler

Party Funny Quotes By George Mikes

A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the Soviet Union. He had learnt it at elementary school; at secondary school; at his sports club; at the Komsomol; at the university; at a folk dancing course; at the chess-club. — George Mikes

Party Funny Quotes By Rahul Gandhi

It (Congress) is a funny party. It is the largest political organization in the world but perhaps does not have a single rule or regulation. We create new rules every two minutes and then dump them. Nobody knows the rules in the party — Rahul Gandhi

Party Funny Quotes By Stephenie Meyer

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior. — Stephenie Meyer

Party Funny Quotes By Mike Birbiglia

Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.' — Mike Birbiglia

Party Funny Quotes By Laurie Colwin

There is really a je ne sais quoi about turkey cooking - the air of festivity, the family squabbles, the constant basting - that does not apply to the turkey breast, which is, really, a convenience of food ... A turkey without seasonal angst is like a baseball game without a national anthem, a winter without snow, a birthday party without candles. — Laurie Colwin

Party Funny Quotes By Ilona Andrews

It's like you had a coming-out party," Andrea said. "You've been presented to polite society, except now everybody wants to kill you."
"Spare me."
"Kate Daniels, a debutante." Andrea grinned.
"It's not funny."
"It's hilarious." The smile slid off Andrea's face and she vomited on the snow.
"Karma," I told her. — Ilona Andrews

Party Funny Quotes By Dylan Moran

Don't you DARE use party as a verb in my shop — Dylan Moran

Party Funny Quotes By Paul Rudd

I was at a dinner party with a group of people, and we were talking about fake names. You know, how its difficult to come up with a really great fake name. Its a very specific type of gift. You don't want to go too far into the silly, and you don't want to go too far into the banal. I always thought one of the funniest names ever was Gern Blanston, which came from a Steve Martin routine on one of his early records. — Paul Rudd

Party Funny Quotes By Anna Quindlen

It was funny, what friendship meant in Rebecca's world. It mainly meant lunch, twice a year, and the occasional dinner party, except for Dorothea, who was an old school friend, a genuine friend. Rebecca had realized, ruefully, that she should have made more friends in school; they seemed to be the only ones women really talked to honestly because the shared history meant fewer lies were available to them. With the others shared meals had become a substitute for intimacy, but not the kind of substitute that allowed for dark nights of the soul, calls at 1:00 A.M., tears and drinking and despair in pajamas. — Anna Quindlen

Party Funny Quotes By Alyssa Rose Ivy

This was one of those non-glamorous parts about college that people never tell you about - worrying that the dilapidated apartment hosting a party would fall apart with you in it. — Alyssa Rose Ivy

Party Funny Quotes By Shannon L. Alder

There is no real bravery in getting paid to save someone's life. However, there is a large amount of bravery in a nurse break dancing at the hospital's Christmas party. — Shannon L. Alder

Party Funny Quotes By Dakota Cassidy

[Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"
[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. — Dakota Cassidy

Party Funny Quotes By Kesha

I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people. — Kesha

Party Funny Quotes By Kevin Dillon

In 'War Party,' I play a quarter-breed Indian. It's a serious movie, but it's funny, too. — Kevin Dillon

Party Funny Quotes By Catherynne M Valente

The trouble was, September didn't know what sort of story she was in. Was it a merry one or a serious one? How ought she to act? If it was merry, she might dash after a Spoon and it would all be a grand adventure, with funny rhymes and somersaults and a grand party at the end with red lanterns. But if it was a serious tale, she might have to do something important, something involving with snow and arrows and enemies. — Catherynne M Valente

Party Funny Quotes By Becca Fitzpatrick

Positive. In other news, Marcie's throwing a Halloween party here at the farmhouse."
Patch smiled. "Grey - Millar family drama?"
"The theme is famous couples from history. Could she be any less original? Worse, she's roped my mom into this. They went shopping for decorations today. For three whole hours. It's like they're suddenly best friends." I picked up another apple slice and made a face at it. "Marcie is ruining everything. I wanted Scott to go with Vee, but Marcie already convinced him to go with her." Patch's smile widened.
I aimed my best sulky look at him. "This isn't funny. Marcie is destroying my life. Whose side are you on anyway?"
Patch raised his hands in surrender. "I'm staying out of this. — Becca Fitzpatrick

Party Funny Quotes By David Cross

I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are ... — David Cross

Party Funny Quotes By F Scott Fitzgerald

I'll drink your champagne. I'll drink every drop of it, I don't care if it kills me. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Party Funny Quotes By F Scott Fitzgerald

Never miss a party ... good for the nerves
like celery. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Party Funny Quotes By Vance Bourjaily

The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life in a different city. — Vance Bourjaily

Party Funny Quotes By Jonathan Lethem

Laughing at "Rapper's Delight"'s no revenge, and anyway it wasn't your idea, and anyway it's funny. Dean Street's another story, a realm of knowledge unapplicable here.
You've just about finished leaving Dean Street, and Aeroman, behind.
If this means avoiding the one who protected your ass all through junior high, the one you once ached to emulate, the one whose orbit you were happy just to swing in - if it means leaving the million-dollar kid's regular phone messages in Abraham's precise handwriting unreturned - that's a small price to pay for growing up, isn't it?
This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around.
It's the end, the end of the seventies. — Jonathan Lethem

Party Funny Quotes By Quinn Loftis

Oh," Sally brightened proud of herself for deciphering his sign language, "you're telling me not to leave my room."
Costin nodded his big wolf head again. His eyes had begun glowing back in the party and even now they continued to emit an eerie shade of green.
Sally's inner Jen had been triggered as soon as she got the words out. So naturally she did what her inner Jen told her to. She stepped forward putting one toe outside her door. Costin growled, so she stepped back. Watching him coyly she put her other toe outside her door and he growled again. She was inwardly scolding herself for taunting him and allowing her inner Jen to control her actions, but she had discovered long ago that sometimes inner Jen is just more fun.
When Sally stuck her foot out for the third time, she giggled when Costin snapped at her. She could tell that he was playing by the way his tail wagged and his eyes lightened, but had not stopped glowing all together. — Quinn Loftis

Party Funny Quotes By Britney Spears

I performed at Mom and Dad's party when I was four. Oh my gosh, I was singing a Madonna song, and I peed myself! — Britney Spears

Party Funny Quotes By Alyxandra Harvey

The very second the door closed behind them, Nicholas started shouting. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.
'I can't believe you did that!' he railed. 'After the field party, the vamps in the garden. Didn't you hear a single word I said?'
'No why don't you yell a little louder?'
'This isn't funny, Lucy. — Alyxandra Harvey

Party Funny Quotes By Walter Moers

Approaching the forest from the west was no army, but a delegation of Grailsundanian master surgeons on their way to an appendix conference ... But that isn't the craziest part of the story - oh, no, my boy, for approaching from the east was a party of itinerant watchmakers bound for the pocket-watch fair at Wimbleton ... But not even that is the craziest part of the story! For apporaching from the south were over a hundred armourers and locksmiths on their way to Florinth, where some power-hungry prince had commissioned them to build a monstrous war machine ... Well, that would be enough crazy coincedences for an averagely crazy story but the battle of Nurn Forest involved the most improbable coincedences in the history of Zamonia. For entering the forest, this time from the north came a delegation of alchemists. — Walter Moers

Party Funny Quotes By Julian Fellowes

The moment I was introduced to my wife, Emma, at a party I thought, here she is - and 20 minutes later I told her she ought to marry me. She thought I was as mad as a rat. She wouldn't even give me her telephone number - and she wrote in her diary: 'A funny little man asked me to marry him.' — Julian Fellowes

Party Funny Quotes By Hilary McKay

Darling Daddy,
This is Rose.
Very good news. Caddy is going to marry Micheal. In case you have forgotten because you have not been home for so long he is the one with the ponytail and the earring that you do not like. And Caddy says she will have a white lace dress and three bridesmaids, Saffron and Sarah and me, and a big party for everyone, all her old boyfriends too. Fireworks. A band. A big tent called a marquee. But where will we put it? Carriages with white horses for us all to go to the church. Afterward Caddy and Micheal will go for a holiday to Australia to visit the Great Barrier Reef. Caddy has it all worked out and Mummy says Yes She Can Of Course You Can Darling Of Course You Must Do That. Saffron said That Will Cost a Few Weeks Housekeeping and Mummy said Yes But We Do Not Need to Worry About That. DADDY WILL PAY.
Love, Rose. — Hilary McKay

Party Funny Quotes By Dan Quayle

Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled — Dan Quayle

Party Funny Quotes By James St. James

Drug addicts are so funny that way. Just spinning around, lost in their own little world. Doing so much, accomplishing so little. How sad. — James St. James

Party Funny Quotes By Rachel Caine

As the resident dude, Shane was responsible for the acquisition of party favors, like glow-in-the-dark necklaces and drinks. Non-alcoholic drinks for Claire, of course, because I am a stern house mother even if I suck as a role model. — Rachel Caine

Party Funny Quotes By Tommy Cooper

A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants." — Tommy Cooper

Party Funny Quotes By Josh Kilmer-Purcell

Blackouts can be fun if approached with the right mindset. You just can't sweat the fact that you've lost a small portion of your life for all eternity. Occasionally, little bubbles of memory will float up like surreal Mylar party balloons at unexpected times throughout the net day and start piecing together a colorful, if incomplete, version of reality. — Josh Kilmer-Purcell

Party Funny Quotes By James Patterson

HYSTERICAL HISTORY Bumping into Vincent O'Neil makes me think about what Uncle Frankie said. I need new material for Boston, not Vincent's stale and stinky fart jokes from The Big Book of Butt Bugles and Blampfs. So I keep my eyes open for new concepts to work out as I go to history class that afternoon. We're supposed to give a presentation on our favorite president. I chose Millard Fillmore. Why? Because nobody else will. Plus, his name is funny. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a whole bit out of him for Boston. I roll to the front of the class and prop a portrait of President Fillmore on the flip-chart easel. "Millard Fillmore was the thirteenth president of the United States. Born in January 1800, he was named after a duck. No, I'm sorry. That was his brother Mallard Fillmore. Millard Fillmore was the last member of the Whig Party to ever hold the office of president. Probably because they all wore wigs. — James Patterson

Party Funny Quotes By Bauvard

I threw an etiquette party and served nothing but beans and sparkling water. The topic of conversation was 'excuse me'. — Bauvard

Party Funny Quotes By Lemony Snicket

Deciding on the right thing to do in a situation is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. [ ... ] The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things and wearing ugly clothing. — Lemony Snicket

Party Funny Quotes By Carroll Bryant

When it comes to being famous, you're usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth! — Carroll Bryant

Party Funny Quotes By Amy Sedaris

The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over. — Amy Sedaris

Party Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg

You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling out names, "DuFresnes, party of two." They say again, "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll just go to the next name, "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! "Bush, search party of three!" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes! — Mitch Hedberg

Party Funny Quotes By Jim Butcher

Try not to look like that," Ascher said under breath, after we were in the elevator.
"Like what?" I asked.
"Like you're expecting ninjas to leap out of the trash cans. This is a party."
"Everyone knows there's no such things as ninjas," I scoffed. "But it will be something. Count on it. — Jim Butcher

Party Funny Quotes By Douglas Adams

We already have the Wooden Pillar, the Steel Pillar and the Plastic Pillar. In a moment we will have the Golden Bail ... '
No, you won't.'
We will,' stated the robot simply.
No, you won't. It makes my ship work.'
In a moment,' repeated the robot patiently, 'we will have the Golden Bail ... '
You will not,' said Zaphod.
And then we must go,' said the robot, in all seriousness, 'to a party.'
Oh,' said Zaphod, startled, 'can I come?'
No,' said the robot, 'we are going to shoot you.'
Oh, yeah?' said Zaphod, waggling his gun.
Yes,' said the robot, and they shot him.
Zaphod was so surprised that they had to shoot him again before he fell down. (85-86) — Douglas Adams

Party Funny Quotes By Kim Harrison

Vamps were homebodies - high-maintenance, party-till-you-die, don't-look-at-me-funny-or-I'll-kill-you homebodies, but homebodies nevertheless. — Kim Harrison

Party Funny Quotes By Victoria Schwab

Now, as the party reached the royal hall the brothers shared, Tolners produced a note and held it up for Kell to read. "This isn't funny."
Apparently Rhy had had the grace to pin the note to his door, in case anyone in the palace should worry. "Not kidnapped. Out for a drink with Kell. Sit tight. — Victoria Schwab

Party Funny Quotes By Will Rogers

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. — Will Rogers

Party Funny Quotes By Abraham Lincoln

Be excellent and party on dudes. — Abraham Lincoln

Party Funny Quotes By Maggie Stiefvater

Ronan's bedroom door burst open. Hanging on the door frame, Ronan leaned out to peer past Gansey. He was doing that thing where he looked like both the dangerous Ronan he was now and the cheerier Ronan he had been when Gansey first met him.
"Hold on," Gansey told Adam. Then, to Ronan: "Why would he be?"
"No reason. Just no reason." Ronan slammed his door.
Gansey asked Adam, "Sorry. You still have that suit for the party?"
Adam's response was buried in the sound of the second-story door falling open. Noah slouched in. In a wounded tone, he said, "He threw me out the window!"
Ronan's voice sang out from behind his closed door: "You're already dead! — Maggie Stiefvater

Party Funny Quotes By Jack Black

Buddha is pretty funny. Buddha is the coolest, though. If I had to go with one, I'd probably party with the Buddha. — Jack Black

Party Funny Quotes By Rick Riordan

So, you invite a wild rabbit living in Italy to a party on the island of Crete. What's it supposed to do, swim there? Its little tux would get wet. — Rick Riordan

Party Funny Quotes By Lorrie Moore

I've never been to a dinner party where everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny. — Lorrie Moore

Party Funny Quotes By Carroll Bryant

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it. — Carroll Bryant

Party Funny Quotes By Criss Jami

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell. — Criss Jami

Party Funny Quotes By Larry David

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' — Larry David

Party Funny Quotes By Adam Carolla

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it. — Adam Carolla

Party Funny Quotes By Matt Taibbi

In the meantime, though, the race for the Republican Party presidential nomination sure seems funny. The event known around the world as hashtagGOPClownCar is improbable, colossal, spectacular and shocking; epic, monumental, heinous and disgusting. It's like watching 17 platypuses try to mount the queen of England. You can't tear your eyes away from it. It — Matt Taibbi

Party Funny Quotes By Gil Evans

Bob Moses, composer, drummer, poet, artist, conceptualizer, inspirer of people, has created a musical environment that is balanced between discipline and freedom, compositional design and spontaneous inspiration. A party with a purpose. This album is original, soulful, funny and very special. I hope a lot of people get as much enjoyment from it as I have. — Gil Evans

Party Funny Quotes By Jarvis Cocker

There are some quite funny things about getting famous and stuff, but I think there comes a point where you have to think to yourself, "Well, am I doing this because I want to go to a party and meet Britney Spears? Or am I doing it because I want to create something that excites me?" — Jarvis Cocker

Party Funny Quotes By Phillip Andrew Bennett Low

And it started out fun. We were chattering enthusiastically, flipping between CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News. But as the evening wore on, and the numbers rolled in, it got quieter, and I found myself becoming intensely depressed. Why was I putting myself through this? The issues I've devoted my life to have become so marginalized by the coverage that they have no possible relevance to me. I can't even blame the media - people simply don't care about alternate-party politics. And why should they? I'm so far in the minority that my activism is a joke, a punchline that stopped being funny years ago. It goes beyond rooting for the underdog. It's not rooting for the Giants: it's more like, say, rooting for the Twins. But during the Super Bowl. — Phillip Andrew Bennett Low

Party Funny Quotes By E.A. Bucchianeri

If you want to keep people happy, just keep the food and entertainment rolling. — E.A. Bucchianeri

Party Funny Quotes By Alyxandra Harvey

You were at the party on Friday night, weren't you?" I didn't mentioned I'd followed him into the woods.
He leaned back in his chair, his legs sprawled out. His boots nudged the bottom ruffle of my skirt. "Aye."
Aye? Seriously? Could he be any hotter?
Unless he had been looking for his girlfriend at the party.
Not hot.
"I was supposed to meet my cousin," he elaborated, "but I didn't find her,"
Hot again. — Alyxandra Harvey

Party Funny Quotes By Ron White

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party! — Ron White

Party Funny Quotes By Ali Shariati

Hey, I am thinking of it myself, in this part of world (East), we all do endeavors in praying and are sweating (white liquid) and this is our situation, frustrated , but on the other part of world (West) ,they are enjoying in party and drinking liquor (white liquid) but their situation is that, successful, I do not know that the problem relates to the type of liquid or the way of drinking!! — Ali Shariati

Party Funny Quotes By Zach Galifianakis

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good. — Zach Galifianakis

Party Funny Quotes By Goldy Moldavsky

What you don't even realize now - what you will only come to understand in time, but lucky for you, I'm here to tell you - is you're not going to give two shits about this band in a few years. In fact, I guarantee that this group that you admire so much and that you are putting all of your love and dedication and devotion into will be nothing more than an obsession you will be immensely embarrassed of having had. One day you'll be in college, maybe you'll be at a party, and someone will say, 'Hey, do you remember The Ruperts? How shitty was their music?' and you will have a moment of crisis: Do you admit your former love for them, or do you concede, because you know in your heart that this person is right? And guess what you'll say? You'll say, 'Yeah, their music was utter. Putrid.Garbage. — Goldy Moldavsky

Party Funny Quotes By Robert Stone

There were icons of the Magdalen on the walls and paintings in the Western manner, all kitsch, trash. Mary M., Lucas thought, half hypnotized by the chanting in the room beside him; Mary Moe, Jane Doe, the girl from Migdal in Galilee turned hooker in the big city. The original whore with the heart of gold. Used to be a nice Jewish girl, and the next thing you know, she's fucking the buckos of the Tenth Legion Fratensis, fucking the pilgrims who'd made their sacrifice at the Temple and were ready to party, the odd priest and Levite on the sly.
Maybe she was smart and funny. Certainly always on the lookout for the right guy to take her out of the life. Like a lot of whores, she tended towards religion. So along comes Jesus Christ, Mr. Right with a Vengeance, Mr. All Right Now! Fixes on her his hot, crazy eyes and she's all, Anything, I'll do anything. I'll wash your feet with my hair. You don't even have to fuck me. — Robert Stone

Party Funny Quotes By Daniel Barenboim

It's funny, because in 1970 I met the Beatles quite by a chance at a party. It was the Beethoven bicentenary, and I was then also playing the Beethoven Sonatas. And that's all they wanted to hear about - I wanted to talk about them, and all they wanted to talk about was Beethoven. — Daniel Barenboim

Party Funny Quotes By Chanelle Gray

I know what party you're talking about. I might have to swing through. Especially if you're going to be there in a costume." He winked and leaned back in his seat.
"I'm going as a homeless person."
"Sexy. — Chanelle Gray

Party Funny Quotes By Ilona Andrews

Kaldar smiled at her. Now there was a work of art. If she were just a girl and he were just a man, and they met at a party, that smile would've guaranteed him a date. The man was hot. There was no doubt. But right now, all it would get him was a solid punch in those even teeth.
Audrey laughed. "Aren't you sweet? Tell me, do girls usually throw their panties at you when you do that?"
He grinned wider, and she glimpsed the funny evil spark in his eyes. "Do men throw money when you do your little Southern belle? — Ilona Andrews

Party Funny Quotes By Emily Deschanel

It's been a while. I haven't seen the actual gag reel they put on the DVD. I just saw the DVD myself, so I know that it's going to be some version of what we saw at our wrap party. Some of the funniest things probably wouldn't make it to the DVD and that involved Ryan O'Neal singing and they intercut that with the American Idol judges judging him, which was pretty funny. — Emily Deschanel

Party Funny Quotes By Tami Hoag

The last I knew you were going to a party. just a few friends at the McEvoys' you told me. The science club, you told me. What happened? You got into a fight about the theory of relativity? Did creationists crash the party and start a rumble? — Tami Hoag

Party Funny Quotes By Natasha Leggero

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's. — Natasha Leggero

Party Funny Quotes By Megan McCafferty

High school parties exhausted me because I always felt like I was the only thinking person in a room mostly full of morons obliterating precious IQ points with every gulp of whatever booze they managed to steal out of their parents' liquor cabinets. College parties are exhausting in a diametrically opposite way. They are full of smart, funny people who are all used to being the smartest, funniest person in the room, so they spend the whole party talking over one another, overlapping and overtaking the conversation to prove that they are the smartest, funniest person in the room, if not the entire planet. — Megan McCafferty

Party Funny Quotes By Sara Eckel

Now when I remember the woman I was - heaving herself off the couch to go on another Internet date, taking a deep breath before walking into the party where she'd see her ex and his new girlfriend - I don't feel a trace of contempt or embarrassment. I have a funny admiration for the girl who kept taking her licks and got back up again. That was me. Doing my best. Which, of course, is all any of us can do. — Sara Eckel