Paranormal Comedy Quotes & Sayings

Recent studies have shown that approximately 40% of authors are manic depressive. The rest of us just drink. — Melodie Campbell

What the feckin' hell is PMS, I'd like to ken?"
"Petty Male Shit," she yelled. — Vonnie Davis

Didn't even have to argue with her. She just told me she loved me and offered the back of her neck." He crossed his arms over his chest. "How many pups you got with Janie Mae now, Bubba Ray . . . and still she's as unmarked as a newborn babe. So which Smith has control of his female now, boy? — Shelly Laurenston

Just as he reached for my neck, I tased him. I was there to bag and tag, not to kill. Besides, if I had to carry separate weapons for every paranormal I took out, I'd be dragging around a full luggage set. Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine's pink with rhinestones. Tasey and I have had a lot of good times together. — Kiersten White

A bear! I've landed on a wild and wicked bear! — Vonnie Davis

Do you always drink from a glass?" she finally exploded.
Gavriel shook his head. "Over my lifetime, I have fed in nearly every way imaginable. Drinking from a glass is tame is comparison."
Meryn started to grin.
"Would you drink from a man?" Gavriel nodded.
"Would you drink in a van?" she asked, her eyes dancing.
"I don't see why not," he replied. Elizabeth stared as Meryn continued.
"Would you drink from an actor?" Again, Gavriel nodded. Laughing, Elizabeth shook her head at Meryn.
"Would you drink on a tractor?" Meryn could barely get the words out she was laughing so hard. Gavriel frowned. "Maybe from a farmer if the need were dire. — Alanea Alder

I still ask myself why did you watched the film Paranormal Activity the all parts or the film "The VIsit" 2015. Both were home made and not big deal even stupid, you even watch football + you play one game over and over and over, you play stupid games + you watch stupid stuff and after all you still ask yourself why you are stupid. The answer is somewhere here, search it! — Deyth Banger

While I had no intention of hooking up with him, I still wanted him to want to hook up with me.
It was the principle of the thing, after all. — Kimberly Raye

Leave before I have to rip your eyes out with my dull Lady Bic razor. — Rose Pressey

I think...I shall call ye Beauty, for I shall be yer beast. — Vonnie Davis

He's reading a book called Great Warlocks of the 18th Century, and to get this ball rolling before Dean Devlin shows up and rains on our private parade, I snort and ask, "Good book?"
I forget I'm pretending to be sitting behind my two-thousand-ninety-eight-page Highlights of Modern Chemistry book, so he snorts back. "Better than yours. — Rusty Fischer

I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.
'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.
'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'
Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape. — Robyn Peterman

Ye have taught me something I never understood."
"What? How to get rid of Parisian Pink Pecker Disease? — Vonnie Davis

Have ye ever known a female who wasna a bit of a witch in her own sweet way? — Vonnie Davis

So you want me to go to a human orgy, where I will not be welcome, and you want us to leave before I get to enjoy myself? ~Eric Northman — Charlaine Harris

You wish for what's called wooing. This customary game, where the man shows the woman that resistance is impractical, strikes me as quite pointless. — Tara West

The little woman, wearing a pink and black zigzag-striped pantsuit over a black turtleneck, resembled a skinny zebra who'd OD'd on Pepto-Bismol. — Vonnie Davis

I gotta go Seth, so I'll leave you to work on being nerdy and withdrawn."
"It's not as easy as it looks, you know."
"I'm sure," Nine said with a laugh. — Charlie Fey

It's hillbilly urine; we had better get home before they come to eat us. Kevin said pointing towards home proving if there was ever any doubt that he had no acting ability at all. (The Children of Ankh series) — Kim Cormack

I could run, too, but my feet hurt. It's tough being a fashion vixen. — Kimberly Raye

Some people say Earth is the bottom level of Purgatory.' She pointed toward the floor and frowned.
'I call it the top floor of Hell. — Tara West

I'd rather drink my dinner out of a martini glass and follow it up with a cosmopolitan chaser. — Kimberly Raye

In my mind, I said the best things to Elton. I wrote countless excellent notes that I never sent. I came up with clever and highly detailed imaginary situations in which we were thrown together and it somehow made him realize that life without me was a hollow shell. But he didn't look like a hollow shell. He looked like he was back on the soccer team, all calf muscles and lean body. — Maureen Johnson

Just in front of her lay the Congaree Swamp National Forest. To prove it, a mosquito the size of a kitten landed on her arm and prepared to drill. — Sela Carsen

I've also been known to cry during MasterCard commercials. — Kimberly Raye

What are you doing?" Nine Eleven asked, noticing Seth trying to look around him. He followed Seth's gaze. "Oh."
He turned back around and handed Seth a wry smile. "So what are you going to do about her, Seth? Create a love spell that will bend her to your will and make her your sex slave?"
"Is that how you get dates?" Seth asked. — Charlie Fey

Holy shit, he was harder that a rod of steel, and as his leg ground out a torturous rhythm between my thighs, I realized I was hotter than spring in Seattle.
This was not a dream, this was real, and I had just fondled the boner of the Grim Reaper. — Tara West

He pulled forth and waggled a leash.

A leash.

To go around her neck. — Eve Langlais

We could use all the blessings we could get. The impact of what we were about to do hit me like an anvil on Wile E. Coyote's head. We were heading out to stop Satan's son and save the world from certain destruction.
Piece of cake. — Terri Clark

He had to die someday too. He might do it on sheets with a six-hundred-plus thread count, but he'd die just the same. Death wouldn't forget about him. — John Howard Matthews

She leaned her uninjured shoulder against his plump, furry behind and shoved while she bitched to herself, "Four years at the military academy, two years at Kansas State University, survival camp in the swamps of Alabama, more schooling in Florida, and then torture endurance training with the Mossad and all so I could heave a bear's ass into a helicopter. Unfreaking real. — Vonnie Davis

You're ... a demon hunter?'
'It's not as exciting as it sounds,' he said. 'There is a surprising amount of paperwork involved. — Maureen Johnson

She wasn't the type. Her idea of exercise was lifting a fork. — Rose Pressey

Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit? — Robyn Peterman

The first thing you lose when you die is your motor skills. — John Howard Matthews

Driving a stolen plane will be nothing compared to the ride with a fired-up Scot. — Vonnie Davis