Quotes & Sayings About Papers Funny

William asked Diana if she'd seen the portrait of the Queen in yesterday's papers. "Her hands looked like she'd been in the garden all day; they were all big and dirty," he laughed. Diana giggled instinctively, then stopped herself. "William, please, don't say that."
"Sorry, Mummy, but it's true: Granny did look really funny."
Granny. How odd it sounded.
"Can I have some wine, Mummy?"
"No, William! Whatever are you thinking?"
"But Mummy, I drink it all the time."
"Erm, no, you don't actually, and, well, you can't have any."
"Yes, I can," he replied with a mischievous but determined grin.
And he did. A small but interesting piece of power play to observe. William knew what he wanted, and Diana was a soft touch with her boys.
- Piers Morgan — Larry King

I pretended I was a Kez colonel pretending to be an Adran colonel," Olem said. "It was disturbingly easy."
"They didn't ask for papers or proof?"
"In this rain?" Olem gestured at the downpour. "You don't understand an enlisted man, sir. Nobody asks for bloody papers in this kind of weather. — Brian McClellan

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. — Hillary Rodham Clinton

I don't read economic forecasts. I don't read the funny papers. — Warren Buffett

I still read the British papers, but I've never been a Royalist, ever. It's funny, there always seems to be much more of a fascination with the Royal Family over here then there does in England. — Paul Bettany

You know the funny thing about the end of the world, my old friend? We always talk about it as if it hasn't happened already. Because of course the world has ended many times. And when it ends for some people, other people report it in the papers or on TV as a new beginning. — Bee Ridgway

I was sorry to read in yesterday's evening papers that your house was recently burglarised while you were elsewhere propounding the moral virtues of private enterprise.
I'm sure you'll be able to see the funny side of it!
I expect your mistake was to inform the robbery squad at your local police station that your house would be empty. That's always asking for trouble. — William Donaldson

So you do read the papers. Usually kids your age need a bomb up their backsides, but it's good to see you've got your wits about you. — Cecelia Ahern

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance. — Will Rogers

Ven you read the speeches in the papers, and see as vun gen'lman says of another, 'the Honourable member, if he vill allow me to call him so' you vill understand, sir, that that means, 'if he vill allow me to keep up that 'ere pleasant and uniwersal fiction.' — Charles Dickens

See you in the funny papers, he said. Jaunty, he reminded himself; always jaunty. In my panache is their hope for salvation. — Michael Chabon

I've just finished reading some of my early papers, and you know, when I'd finished I said to myself, 'Rutherford, my boy, you used to be a damned clever fellow.' (1911) — Ernest Rutherford

I suppose I could have been nicer when I was at Columbia. I could have been polite, respectful, turned in my papers on time. Funny thing is, I knew a guy like that. English major. Loved to read. Never got in any trouble, just hung out in Butler Library reading poetry and English history. Ran into him the other day. Guy has three master's degrees, taught high school, even did a few years in the Marines. Know what he does today?
He makes $9.75 an hour as a librarian.
I was a jerk when I went to Columbia. But I was never a sucker. — Ted Rall

Word of advice, sister mine. If you want to keep your papers private, don't write 'Private' on the cover. It set the mater right off. It was all I could do to stop her sniffing around like some great sniffing thing. — Lauren Willig

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. — H.L. Mencken

Sorry I'm late, Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late. — Adam Rex