P G Wodehouse Golf Quotes & Sayings

They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke. — P.G. Wodehouse

Many bad golfers marry, feeling that a wife's loving solicitude may improve their game. But they are rugged, thick-skinned men, not sensitive and introspective. It is one of the chief merits of golf that non-success at the game induces a certain amount of decent humilty, which keeps a man from pluming himself too much on any petty triumphs he may achieve in other walks of life. — P.G. Wodehouse

The test of a great golfer is his ability to recover from a bad start. — P.G. Wodehouse

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character. — P.G. Wodehouse

He was stoutly opposed to the idea of marrying anyone; but if, as happens to the best of us, he ever were compelled to perform the wedding glide, he had always hoped it would be with some lady golf champion who would help him with his putting, and thus, by bringing his handicap down a notch or two, enable him to save something from the wreck, so to speak. — P.G. Wodehouse

Golf acts as a corrective against sinful pride. I attribute the insane arrogance of the later Roman Emperors almost entirely to the fact that, never having played golf, they never knew that strange chastening humility which is engendered by a topped chip shot. If Cleopatra had been ousted in the first round of the Ladies' Singles, we should have heard a lot less of her proud imperiousness. — P.G. Wodehouse

Golf ... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well. — P.G. Wodehouse

Confidence, of course is an admirable asset to a golfer, but it should be an unspoken confidence. It is perilous to put it into speech. The gods of golf lie in wait to chasten the presumptious. — P.G. Wodehouse

Golf is the Great Mystery. — P.G. Wodehouse

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself. — P.G. Wodehouse

To find a man's true character, play golf with him. — P.G. Wodehouse

Men capable of governing empires fail to control a small white ball, which presents no difficulties whetever to others with one ounce more brain than a cuckoo clock. I wish to goodness I knew the man who invented this infernal game. I'd strangle him. But I suppose he's been dead for ages. Still, I could go and jump on his grave. — P.G. Wodehouse

Back horses or go down to Throgmorton Street and try to take it away from the Rothschilds, and I will applaud you as a shrewd and cautious financier. But to bet at golf is pure gambling. — P.G. Wodehouse

I killed him with my niblick, said Celia.
I nodded. If the thing was to be done at all, it was unquestionably a niblick shot. — P.G. Wodehouse

There was the man who seemed to be attempting to decieve his ball and lull it into a false sense of security by looking away from it and then making a lightning slash in the apparent hope of catching it off its guard. — P.G. Wodehouse

A golfer needs a loving wife to whom he can describe the day's play through the long evening. — P.G. Wodehouse

He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes to its maximum only to the man who has given up golf. — P.G. Wodehouse

After all, golf is only a game,' said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is any kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they're saying. — P.G. Wodehouse

But, Bill, old scout, your sister says there's a most corking links near here."
He turned and stared at me, and nearly ran us into the bank.
"You don't mean honestly she said that?"
"She said you said it was better than St. Andrews."
"So I did. Was that all she said I said?"
"Well, wasn't it enough?"
"She didn't happen to mention that I added the words, 'I don't think'?"
"No, she forgot to tell me that."
"It's the worst course in Great Britain. — P.G. Wodehouse

It is the glorious uncertainty of golf that makes it the game it is. — P.G. Wodehouse

What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent? — P.G. Wodehouse

What earthly good is golf? Life is stern and life is earnest. We live in a practical age. All around us we see foreign competition making itself unpleasant. And we spend our time playing golf? What do we get out of it? Is golf any use? That's what I'm asking you. Can you name me a single case where devotion to this pestilential pastime has done a man any practical good? — P.G. Wodehouse

I wonder what Tommy Morris would have had to say to all this number 6-iron, number 12-iron, number 28-iron stuff. He probably wouldn't have said anything, just made one of those strange Scottish noises at the back of his throat like someone gargling. — P.G. Wodehouse

I've just discovered the secret of golf. You can't play a really hot game unless you're so miserable that you don't worry over your shots. Take the case of a chip shot, for instance. If you're really wretched, you don't care where the ball is going and so you don't raise your head to see. Grief automatically prevents pressing and over-swinging. Look at the top-notchers. Have you ever seen a happy pro? — P.G. Wodehouse

Peculiarity of golf, as of love, that it temporarily changes the natures of its victims; — P.G. Wodehouse

Excuse me, I must go and putt — P.G. Wodehouse

Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. — P.G. Wodehouse

Golf is the Great Mystery. Like some capricous goddess, it bestows its favours with what would appear an almost fat-headed lack of method and discrimination. On every side we see big two-fisted he-men floundering round in three figures, stopping every few minutes to let through little shrimps with knock-knees and hollow cheeks, who are tearing up snappy seventy-fours. — P.G. Wodehouse

Honoria, you see, is one of those robust, dynamic girls with the muscles of a welter-weight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge. A beastly thing to have to face over the breakfast table. Brainy, moreover. The sort of girl who reduces you to pulp with sixteen sets of tennis and a few rounds of golf and then comes down to dinner as fresh as a daisy, expecting you to take an intelligent interest in Freud. — P.G. Wodehouse

It was a morning when all nature shouted Fore! The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, seemed to bring a message of hope and cheer, whispering of chip shots holed and brassies landing squarely on the meat. The fairway, as yet unscarred by the irons of a hundred dubs, smiled greenly up at the azure sky. — P.G. Wodehouse

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. — P.G. Wodehouse