P G Wodehouse Funny Quotes & Sayings

Impatience makes fools of clever men... — R.A. Scotti

Give 'em hell babe. — Quinn Loftis

She looked like a tomato struggling for self-expression. — P.G. Wodehouse

People who demand neutrality in any situation are usually not neutral but in favor of the status quo. — Max Eastman

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth. — P.G. Wodehouse

Your brain does not manufacture thoughts. Your thoughts shape neural networks. — Deepak Chopra

Cheer up, Crips, and keep smiling. That's the thing to do. If you go through life with a smile on your face, you'll be amazed how many people will come up to you and say 'What the hell are you grinning about? What's so funny?' Make you a lot of new friends. — P.G. Wodehouse

Look in at the Drones and ask the first fellow you meet 'Can the fine spirit of the Woosters be crushed?' and he will offer you attractive odds against such a contingency. — P.G. Wodehouse

He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's always taking something - generally food. — P.G. Wodehouse

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. — P.G. Wodehouse

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. — P.G. Wodehouse

Bayliss resumed reading. He was one of those readers who, whether their subject be a murder case or funny anecdote, adopt a measured and sepulchral delivery which gives a suggestion of tragedy and horror to whatever they read. At the church he attended, children would turn pale and snuggle up to their mothers when he read. — P.G. Wodehouse

It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up. — P.G. Wodehouse

There sinks the nebulous star we call the sun. — Alfred Lord Tennyson

The funny thing was that he wasn't altogether a fool in other ways. Deep down in him there was a kind of stratum of sense. I had known him, once or twice, show an almost human intelligence. But to reach that stratum, mind you, you needed dynamite. — P.G. Wodehouse

If you ask who I aspire to, well, if a single line of mine was as funny as P. G. Wodehouse can be, that would be great. — Nick Harkaway

The worst type of letting go isn't thekicking or the screaming ,because at least then there's enough emotion left to fight.No,the worst type is the silent acceptance.The quietness of the release.That's when the person realizes they no longer give a damn. — Katie McGarry

I have written it before and am not ashamed to write it again. Without Wodehouse I am not sure that I would be a tenth of what I am today
whatever that may be. In my teenage years, his writings awoke me to the possibilities of language. His rhythms, tropes, tricks and mannerisms are deep within me.
But more than that, he taught me something about good nature. It is enough to be benign, to be gentle, to be funny, to be kind. — Stephen Fry

The first arrival of earthly life on another celestial body ranks as an epochal event not only for our generation, but in the history of our planet. Neil Armstrong was at the cusp of the Apollo programme. This was a collective technological effort of epic scale, but his is the one name sure to be remembered centuries hence. — Martin Rees

His brow was sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought and his air that of a man who, if he had said 'Hullo, girls', would have said it like someone in a Russian drama announcing that Grandpapa had hanged himself in the barn. — P.G. Wodehouse

We're here, and it's nighttime. So according to my calculations, we must not have done anything stupid. — Tahereh Mafi

As I get older, the things I'm sure of become fewer. — J. A. Jance

It's a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don't find it. If you don't give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack. — P.G. Wodehouse