Ouija Board Quotes & Sayings

People have told me 'Betty, Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with old friends ... '
.. At my age, if I wanted to keep in touch with old friends, I'd need a Ouija board — Betty White

I really have to thank Facebook ... I didn't know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time. I would never say the people on it are losers, but that's only because I'm polite. People say 'But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.' Well at my age, if I wanna connect with old friends, I need a Ouija Board. Needless to say, we didn't have Facebook when I was growing up. We had phonebook, but you wouldn't waste an afternoon with it. — Betty White

Give me priests. Give me men with feathers in their hair, or tall domed hats, female oracles in caves, servants of the python, smoking weed and reading palms. A gypsy fortuneteller with a foot-peddle ouija board and a gold fish bowl for a crystal ball knows more about the world than many of the great thinkers of the West. Mumbling priests swinging stink cans on their chains and even witch doctors conjuring up curses with a well-buried elephant tooth have a better sense of their places in the world. They know this universe is brimming with magic, with life and riddles and ironies. They know that the world might eat them, and no encyclopedia could stop it — N.D. Wilson

A friend comes over with a Ouija board.
It spells out: Bourbon. Where's the band?
Just because you're dead doesn't mean you can't
have fun. — Kelli Russell Agodon

When other girls had tea parties on the playground, I brought out my secondhand Ouija board and attempted to raise the dead. While my classmates gave book reports on The Wind In The Willows or Charlotte's Web, I did mine on tattered, paperback copies of Stephen King novels that I'd borrowed from my grandmother. Instead of Sweet Valley High, I read books about zombies and vampires. Eventually, my third grade teacher called my mother in to discuss her growing concerns over my behavior, and my mom nodded blithely, but failed to see what the problem was. When Mrs. Johnson handed her my recent book report on Pet Sematary,, my mom wrinkled her forehead with concern and disapproval. "Oh, I see,"she said disappointingly, as she turned to me. "You spelled 'cemetery' wrong." Then I explained that Stephen King had spelled it that way on purpose, and she nodded, saying, "Ah. Well, good enough for me. — Jenny Lawson

What happens a lot with songwriting is that a melody or rhythm or something stays with you like catching a cold. And during that time what happens is that I can then fit things on to it, it all fits and glues together. Sometimes it's crazy cos it can almost be anything. But if you catch the cold then the nonsense makes sense. It's like you're getting beamed it, like with a ouija board and something's pushing your hand. It's not a pleasant experience necessarily. — Thom Yorke

I knew just being a girl in the world handicapped your ability to believe yourself. Feelings seemed completely unreliable, like faulty gibberish scraped from a Ouija board. — Emma Cline

The Constitution created a framework, not a Ouija board, precisely because the Framers understood that prospect of a nation ruled for centuries by dead prophets would be the very opposite of freedom. — Dahlia Lithwick

There was tactical significance: stop the railroads. An excellent maneuver, no doubt, but the technique was horrible. The planes started kicking high-explosives and incendiaries through their bomb-bays at the city limits, and for all the pattern their hits presented, they must have been briefed by a Ouija board. Tabulate the loss against the gain. Over one hundred thousand non-combatants and a magnificent city destroyed by bombs dropped wide of the stated objectives: the railroads were knocked out for roughly two days. — Kurt Vonnegut

That's how two vampires, a medium, and a dog came to sit around a Ouija board in the back room of a floral shop. — Jeaniene Frost

a parallel world than a religious kind of afterlife. In fact, he was especially critical of religious leaders, whom Twain felt had been using the fear of death and threats of hell to control the minds of their followers. Over the Ouija board, Twain told Hutchings: — Richard Bullivant

I love belief it can move the pallet on a Ouija board or put a man into space. The problem that we have is the wrong beliefs we can't erase. — Stanley Victor Paskavich

Okay. We need to be touching, right?" I reached over to Archer, then held my hand out for Elizabeth. Her skin was cool and so soft I wondered if she'd ever done anything rougher than hold a pen with that hand. Ringo completed the circle and I stifled a smirk. There should have been a Ouija board on the table in front of us. — April White

They didn't have very far to fall--I knew just being a girl in the world handicapped your ability to believe yourself. Feelings seemed completely unreliable, like faulty gibberish scraped from a Ouija board. My childhood visits to the family doctor were stressful events for that reason. He'd ask me gentle questions: How was I feeling? How would I describe the pain? Was it more sharp or more spread out? I'd just look at him with desperation. I needed to be told, that was the whole point of going to the doctor. To take a test, be put through a machine that would comb my insides with radiated precision and tell me what the truth was. — Emma Cline

Kelly O. realized she had a problem with her Ouija board when an aggressive entity turned the planchette into a sex toy and sent it slithering up her thigh. — Rosemary Ellen Guiley

The Ouija Board has been evil since 1973. Why 1973? That's the year The Exorcist was released into theatres, raising the horror genre to a new level and forever demonizing this once effective communication device. — Daniel Cumerlato

The New York Times editorial page is like a Ouija board that has only three answers, no matter what the question. The answers are: higher taxes, more restrictions on political speech and stricter gun control. — Ann Coulter

Why not throw in an amnesia victim, a crazy parrot, and a Ouija board to keep it interesting? — Christina A. Burke

Wind warns November's done with. The blown leaves make bat-shapes, Web-winged and furious. — Sylvia Plath

There are some people in occult history who warned against using the Ouija Board, who said: "This is a dangerous door to the unconscious. Don't approach this thing." — Mitch Horowitz

He held up his hands in surrender. "I'm not here to start trouble. I am just doing some research for my thesis."
"If you don't get out of this bar, you are going to be writing your thesis via Ouija board. — Jessica Fortunato

Colton cleared his throat. "I'm no expert on spirits and the occult, but this is Keelan we're talking about. If by some miracle his soul did find it's way back to the Alpha Estate, Voodoo Meryn with a Ouija board doing incantations would scare him back the way he came. — Alanea Alder

My mother taught me to believe in ghosts: to use a Ouija board, have seances, and leave little offerings out for those who have passed. — Jennifer McMahon

I realize that if I wait until I am no longer afraid to act, write, speak, be, I'll be sending messages on a Ouija board, cryptic complaints from the other side — Audre Lorde

Shakespeare wrote Moby-Dick, using Melville as a Ouija board. — Ray Bradbury

Don't wait for the muse. As I've said, he's a hardheaded guy who's not susceptible to a lot of creative fluttering. This isn't the Ouija board or the spirit-world we're talking about here, but just another job like laying pipe or driving long-haul trucks. Your job is to make sure the muse knows where you're going to be every day from nine 'til noon. or seven 'til three. If he does know, I assure you that sooner or later he'll start showing up. — Stephen King

It was Rogelio, Chutsky's friend from the front desk, who was going to tell us when Weiss checked in. But it certainly didn't look like he was going to tell us much of anything, unless we listened to him with a Ouija board. Because if appearances were any guide at all, judging by the belt so tightly wrapped around his neck and the way his tongue and eyes bulged out, Rogelio was extremely dead. — Jeff Lindsay

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it. — Steven Wright

Learning shamanism solely from a book is like running with a razor sharp Ouija board. — S. Kelley Harrell

Proof? You got it! Did the devil himself pay a visit to Brooks and her sister to reinforce a message? In 1979 my sister, me, and two friends played with the Ouija. We were children and it was just another board game to play. We asked it if the Devil was real. At that point the doorbell rang so we all went to the door. Through the door chain we could see a very well-dressed man. The only thing he said was, "Is this proof enough?" He then left. After that my sister and me have never touched one since. A demon named Sebaliel — Rosemary Ellen Guiley

The obvious differences apart, Karl Marx was no more a reliable prophet than was the Reverend Jim Jones. Karl Marx was a genius, an uncannily resourceful manipulator of world history who shoved everything he knew, thought, and devised into a Ouija board from whose movements he decocted universal laws. He had his following, during the late phases of the Industrial Revolution. But he was discredited by historical experience longer ago than the Wizard of Oz: and still, great grown people sit around, declare themselves to be Marxists, and make excuses for Gulag and Afghanistan. — William F. Buckley Jr.

I'm a witch, not a Ouija board."
--Rowan Gant (Perfect Trust: A Rowan Gant Investigation) — M.R. Sellars