Oregon Unemployment Insurance Quotes & Sayings

I always wanted to be a stand-up comedian, even as a kid. Me and my dad would watch 'Evening at the Improv' on A&E. — Adam DeVine

I hate to tell you how old I am, but I reached the age of consent 75,000 consents ago. — Shelley Winters

There is no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. — Will Rogers

Honor is a trophy for the wise;
dishonor is a crown for fools.
A good reputation in the sight of men is precious;
a good name in the sight of God is priceless. — Matshona Dhliwayo

I want all the interested parties to come together and develop a solution that provides additional water and helps the lower Arkansas River communities thrive again. — Ken Salazar

Religion is a very dangerous thing. By that I mean being so caught up in rules and regulations and not focusing on the thing that matters most- a personal relationship with God. — Joyce Meyer

Scientific theories never dictate human values, but they can often cast new light on ethical issues. From a sexual selection viewpoint, moral philosophy and political theory have mostly been attempts to shift male human sexual competitiveness from physical violence to the peaceful accumulation of wealth and status. The rights to life, liberty, and property are cultural inventions that function, in part, to keep males from killing and stealing from one another while they compete to attract sexual partners. — Geoffrey Miller

This book comes from the reflections and experience of more than forty years spent in court. Aside from the practice of my profession, the topics I have treated are such as have always held my interest and inspired a taste for books that discuss the human machine with its manifestations and the causes of its varied activity. — Clarence Darrow

This is a life you do not understand. Yes, your home is in the city, and you have furnished it with vanities, with pictures and books; but you have a wife and a servant and a hundred expenses. Asleep or awake you must keep pace with the world and are never at peace. I have peace. You are welcome to your intellectual pastimes and books and art and newspapers; welcome, too, to your bars and your whisky that only makes me ill. Here am I in the forest, quite content. If you ask me intellectual questions and try to trip me up, then I will reply, for example, that God is the origin of all things and that truly men are mere specks and atoms in the universe. You are no wiser than I. But if you should go so far as to ask me what is eternity, then I know quite as much in this matter, too, and reply thus: Eternity is merely unborn time, nothing but unborn time. — Knut Hamsun

Great news for Pres Obama. He watched football all weekend and tomorrow he will receive the Heisman trophy. Next week he's going to watch NASCAR. Move over, Jimmie Johnson! — Michael Waltrip

I'm from Dallas, so I totally get the whole thing. I understand the history and on how big of a scale 'Dallas' was and still is. — Josh Henderson

You are so tactful that I have no idea what you want. — Mason Cooley

I thought that the AIVD was there to protect citizens like me. — Theo Van Gogh

I've heard that phallic symbol argument before, and always from ineffectual people driven to make everyone else as helpless as they are. who's more confused, those who think weapons are sexual organs, or those who want to take everyone's sexual organs away?. — L. Neil Smith