One Week Until Wedding Quotes & Sayings

He was looking forward to this about as much as one would look forward to a tooth extraction, or perhaps a vasectomy. A colonoscopy? He pondered a list of horrific things that could possibly be less painful than a week-long royal wedding. — Jessica Clare

ominous murmur ran through the legion of onlookers, who had heretofore maintained an uncharacteristic silence. Their resentment was palpable. Five days later Coligny was assassinated, and the streets of Paris ran with blood as the entire Huguenot wedding party was hunted down and slaughtered in one of the most infamous episodes in French history, known today as the Saint Bartholomew's Day Massacre. But this horrific mass murder, which claimed more than five thousand martyrs over the course of a week, was no spontaneous bloodletting. Rather, it was the denouement of a carefully constructed plot that utilized the unsuspecting Margot as both victim and bait to lure Coligny and his faction to their doom, an intrigue planned, instigated, and executed by the one individual in France powerful enough — Nancy Goldstone

Ironic, isn't it?" Shawn said.
"It's not ironic at all," Gus said.
"Dude, it's so like a black fly in your chardonnay."
"How many times do I have to tell you that's not ironic, either?"
"Rain on your wedding day?"
"'Irony' is the use of words to convey a meaning that's opposite to their literal meaning," Gus said. "That stupid song came out fourteen years ago, and we still have this exact conversation at least once a week."
"Yeah," Shawn said. "Ironic, isn't it? — William Rabkin

My friend goes through the wedding section of the Sunday paper looking at the brides-to-be and picks out a Dog-of-the-Week. I think that's cruel toward women. Myself, I look to see who shows the most cleavage. — David Henry

I had a 2-week courtship with a fellow student in the fiction workshop in Iowa and a 5-minute wedding in a lawyer's office above the coffee shop where we'd been having lunch that day. And so I sent a cable to my father saying, 'By the time you get this, Daddy, I'll already be Mrs. Blaise!' — Bharati Mukherjee

Remember when I was obsessed with that little Lithuanian restaurant downtown? And it was only ever open when the grumpy old woman ran it felt like opening? I'd stop by every day for a week with no luck. And then, when I'd pretty much given up on ever tasting Napoleonas torte again, I'd drive by and see the open sign in the window.
Well, being with Chris is like trying to date that restaurant. I never know when he's going to be there and how open he'll be to me. Almost never is he all there, all in. Almost never do I get the Chris I got the night of Kiley's wedding
open sign, cold cucumber soup, rouladen, poppy seed kolaches. — Rainbow Rowell

We rent one in three tuxedos in the U.S. and Canada, and if we make a mistake, our employees will deliver to the customer's home, office, or wedding. We get a couple hundred letters a week praising the service in our stores. — George Zimmer

As I write, I am reminded of that passage from the Bible - the one that is read at every wedding: "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child." Now, I understand as an adult. Maybe for the first time in my life. This article would break my mother's heart, and perhaps even worse, her spirit. That didn't matter to me a week ago; in fact, I wanted to hurt her then. My only excuse: then I was a child. — Kristin Hannah

People who take more than 2 weeks to plan a wedding are pussies — Riki Lindhome

As the company grew, Charles remained in Wichita, working ten-hour days, six days a week. When he proposed to his future wife, Liz, he did so reportedly over the phone, and she could hear him flipping through his busy date book in search of an open day for the wedding. In preparation, he required her to study free-market economics. — Jane Mayer

We'll take care of the cooking, Gram, so you can relax." When he and Cat both looked at her, Emma blushed. "Okay, fine. Sean will take care of the grilling so you can relax."
"I was counting on it. And, Sean, why don't you sit down and help us settle on a wedding date."
"I told Emma to tell me when to be there and I'd be there."
"Nonsense. Sit down."
He'd rather be dipped in barbecue sauce and dropped in the desert, but he sat. One more week and it would be over.
Then he wouldn't have to think about Emma anymore. Not think about marrying her or having babies with her or holding her in his arms at night. He'd be gone and she'd be some funny story his brothers brought up sitting around the fire knocking back beer.
"Really, Sean, are you okay?" Cat asked him, putting her hand on his arm.
He realized he'd been rubbing his chest, and he forced himself to lean forward and prop his arms on the table so he wouldn't do it again. "I'm fine. Let's pick a date. — Shannon Stacey

[The maid] went on and on about how you and three casks of wine and three women spent the week before our wedding trying to...you know"--Adrienne muttered an unintelligible word--"your brains out."
"To what my brains out?"
"You know." Adrienne rolled her eyes.
"I'm afraid I don't. What was that word again?"
"Adrienne looked at him sharply. Was he teasing her? Were his eyes alight with mischief? That half-smile curving his beautiful mouth could absolutely melt the sheet she was clutching, not to mention her will. "Apparently one of them succeeded, because if you had any brains left you'd get out of my sight now," she snapped.
"It wasn't three." Hawk swallowed a laugh.
"No?"
"It was five."
"Adrienne's jaw clenched. She held her fingers up again. "Fourth--this will be a marriage in name only. Period."
"Casks of wine, I meant."
"You are not funny. — Karen Marie Moning

A couple of days after the letter arrived, I was discharged from the hospital, in the custody, so to speak, of about three yards of adhesive tape around my ribs. Then began a very strenuous week's campaign to get permission to attend the wedding. I was finally able to do it by laboriously ingratiating myself with my company commander, a bookish man by his own confession, whose favorite author, as luck had it, happened to be my favorite author-L. Manning Vines. Or Hinds. Despite this spiritual bond between us, the most I could wangle out of him was a three-day pass, which would, at best, give me just enough time to travel by train to New York, see the wedding, bolt a dinner somewhere, and then return damply to Georgia. — J.D. Salinger

At a wedding last week, my wife said: 'Isn't the bride beautiful ?' When I responded by saying, 'Yeah, but her blowjobs aren't half as good as yours', she got all pissed off. Women - they can't take a compliment! — David Henry

Halfway out of the room, Rob remembers his engagement. "One thing. I'm getting married." "Congrats," Farley says. When Rob continues to stand awkwardly in the doorway, Farley adds, "What? You want me to be your flower girl?" "No." Rob responds as if Farley were serious. "We'd like to plan a wedding this fall. Ben's my best man. We'd be gone at least a week. Would that be an issue?" "Let's hope this case doesn't stretch that far. We'll work around it if we have to. I may be a hard-ass, but I'm a fair one. — A.M. Madden

Does she know you're in love with her?"
This time I can't help but smile. If this had been last week, or even two days ago, I would've frowned and denied it. Never again. "She knows."
"And she loves you?" Mrs. Jones asks in a motherly tone.
"She does. We're going to give us a try and see where it goes."
"It better go to church for the wedding," she mumbles as she walks by me with the papers in hand. — L.P. Dover

Whoever eats anything at a wedding luncheon? They make the food out of papier mache. My salad had been used four or five times this week. — Peter Ruric