Old Mum Quotes & Sayings

My mum's family would all get together, with guitars, harmonica, mandolins and upright bass and play old blues and folk songs. That was normal to me. — Dan Auerbach

The sort where moon don't rhyme with June, and you're not up to your backside in bloody buttercups. Songs that aren't about your mum and dad. A bit rough, a beat that busts up the old way, the old stodge, the empire and knowing your place and excuse me and the dressing up and doing what you're told. — Francis Beckett

My mum loves cats so I took her to see the lion cubs which at about a year old are actually quite big. She wasn't scared at all and went straight over and kissed one on the mouth! She thought they were just like her pets at home. — Amanda Holden

I've wanted to be a drummer since I was about five years old. I used to play on a bath salt container with wires on the bottom, and on a round coffee tin with a loose wire fixed to it to give a snare drum effect. Plus there were always my Mum's pots and pans. When I was ten, my Mum bought me a snare drum. My Dad bought me my first full drum kit when I was 15. It was almost prehistoric. Most of it was rust. — John Bonham

Journalists have always written that my mum said that I punched a hole through my cot when I was three years old. I don't remember doing that, and I think it was more that I was very energetic. — Frank Bruno

Are you close to your family?'
I considered it. 'Close' was one way of putting it. 'We're close,' I said cautiously. 'But we're very mean to each other. This morning I told my mum that if she didn't stop acting old I was going to lobby for a law on euthanasia, so a bus would come round every Monday morning and take away all the old people who complained that they couldn't hear the telly or see the buttons on their mobile phone or that they had a pain in their hip, and put a bullet in their heads. But we're close. — Marian Keyes

My dad worked all sorts of jobs when I was growing up and finally ended up as a surveyor; my mum delivers meals to old folk around where we live. We didn't have much money when I was growing up, but I had a very happy childhood. — Michelle Dockery

People aren't locked doors. You can get through to them if you want.
But no one did. No one reached out a hand to Tulip. Nobody tried to touch her. I hear them whispering and they sicken me. 'Bus seats!' grumbles Mrs Bodell. 'Locker doors!' complain the teachers. 'Chicken sheds!' say the farmers. 'Greenhouses! Dustbins!' moan the neighbours. And Mum says, 'A lovely old hotel!'
But what about Tulip?
I shall feel sorry for Tulip all my life.
And guilty, too.
Guilty. — Anne Fine

One of my favourite items is a very old jacket - it was my mum's uniform from when she was working 15 or 20 years ago. — Astrid Berges-Frisbey

Ari, maybe we should get you out of here. No joke. You really are dangerous with thus truth serum in you, You might sat something you wished you hadn't."
"Like that your mum scares me, but I think your dad is kind of cute in and old-guy sort of way?"
"Exactly like that."
"Eh. I'm not worried. — Bridget Zinn

I'm just like any other regular mum; cooking, cleaning, wiping butts, picking up after kids, being a wife and helping the kids with their homework. Mind you, I'm terrible at maths. I can't even do my six-year-old's maths homework with her. — Gwyneth Paltrow

Even in Australia I'd say 80 percent of our television was American. I grew up watching Alfred Hitchcock Presents and The Twilight Zone. I used to sit with my mum when I was just nine years old, trying to guess what the twist would be. I love that kind of thing. — Jacki Weaver

The old man sold beer after hours on weekends. And that was something that he probably did to top up his earnings as a truck driver. Mum was the traditional housewife. Loving, caring, sharing - always the keynotes of the family. — Lindsay Fox

My mum is great for keeping hold of old classics - pieces of clothing that never age and never go out of fashion. She also says, 'Make sure you always smile - it makes everything look better!' — Amber Le Bon

I started off when I was seven years old doing musicals. I was in 'Les Miserables' and 'The Sound of Music,' and my mum's an actress. My parents divorced when I was young, and when she couldn't find a babysitter, I was in the wings, sleeping. — Alicia Vikander

Mum repeated the old adage that money can't buy you everything ... before adding that she prefers using credit cards instead. — Kirkland Ciccone

For Mum, life was fundamentally hell. You went blind, you got raped, people forgot your birthday, Nixon got elected, your husband fled with a blonde from Beckenham, and then you got old, you couldn't walk and you died. — Hanif Kureishi

He checked the battered old watch that had once been Fabian Prewett's. "It's nearly eleven, you'd better get on board." "Don't forget to give Neville our love!" Ginny told James as she hugged him. "Mum! I can't give a professor love!" "But you know Neville - " James rolled his eyes. "Outside, yeah, but at school he's Professor Longbottom, isn't he? I can't walk into Herbology and give — J.K. Rowling

Mum said earlier what a lovely dress
you're wearing."
Beryl's eyebrows wriggled like two tiny tapeworms. "This?" she said. "But I've had this for years."
It was a beige dress that would have looked better on an eighty year-old. Any eighty-year-old, man or woman.
"I think you've really grown into it," Valkyrie said.
"I always thought it was a little shapeless."
Valkyrie resisted the urge to say that was what she meant. — Derek Landy

It wasn't the best place to go for a walk, really. There were all these things that people had thrown away back there - old cookers and broken dishes and dolls with no arms and no legs and empty cans and broken bottles. Mum and Dad made me promise not to go exploring back there, because there were too many sharp things, and tetanus and such. — Neil Gaiman

Granny is seventy-seven years old, going on seventy-eight. She's not very good at it either. You can tell she's old because her face looks like newspaper stuffed into wet shoes, but no one ever accuses Granny of being grown-up for her age. "Perky," people sometimes say to Elsa's mum, looking either fairly worried or fairly angry as Mum sighs and asks how much she owes for the damages. — Fredrik Backman

When I was nine years old, Star Trek came on, I looked at it and I went screaming through the house, 'Come here, mum, everybody, come quick, come quick, there's a black lady on television and she ain't no maid!' I knew right then and there I could be anything I wanted to be. — Whoopi Goldberg

Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy-"
"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."
Percy scowled.
"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you- — J.K. Rowling

A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out. — Frankie Boyle

I met this boy here who I knew as a kid and his mum left him with a pedophile for two weeks when he was eight years old and I'm presuming you know everything there is to know about Jonah's father, and that my father is dead, and my mother hasn't been around for years, and God knows Jessa's real story. So what I'm saying here, Sergeant, is that we're just a tad low on the reliable adult quota so you have no right to be all self-righteous about what Chaz did and if you're going to go around not talking to him when his only crime was wanting me to have what he has, then I think you're going to turn out to be a bit of a dud and you know something? I'm just a bit over life's little disappointments right now. Do you understand what I'm saying? — Melina Marchetta

I blew that clay pigeon to smithereens. I don't know why Mum got so upset. According to Uncle Andrew she's a crack shot herself. But she says I'm too young. What I'd like to know is how old does a person have to be before they get to do all the fun stuff? — R.L. LaFevers

My son Beau got very ill when he was just four months old in Majorca. He contracted a really bad case of gastroenteritis. Everything feels so much worse when you don't speak the language, and you need that reassuring conversation as a mum, but you can't have it. — Louise Nurding

When I was around 13 or 14, I started getting really into songwriting. And one day, I was rooting through my mum's old tapes and records, and I found 'Grace' by Jeff Buckley. I remember so vividly the first time I put it on. It blew my mind: his voice, the way he could play the guitar. I must have listened to the album over and over for weeks. — Tom Odell

Acting is something I've done since I was six years old, performing for my mum and my family in the living room, and I do it because my heart's in it. — Lily Cole

Call me an over anxious, middle-class mum, but my eight-and-a-half-year old son looks very much, to me, like he's headed for a life of crime. — Arabella Weir

My mum used to say to me, 'Spit on yer 'ands and take a fresh 'old.' Keep going even if you have setbacks. — Lesley Garrett

The middle-aged woman she would have become, so sure of herself and her place in the world, bossy and loving, condescending and impatient with her dear old mum, — Liane Moriarty

I was a mixture of being incredibly old for my age and incredibly backwards. I was born quite old, but then I stopped growing. I lived with my mum and dad till I was 30. — Helena Bonham Carter

It doesn't matter how old you are or what you do with your life, you will never stop needing your mum. And I will never stop needing mine, so thanks, Mum. — Kate Winslet

Barry, you're over thirty years old. You owe it to your mum and dad not to sing in a group called Sonic Death Monkey. — Nick Hornby

My first mentor and inspiration was my Irish Dancing teacher Patricia Mulholland. She created her own form of dance known as Irish ballet and created stage productions of old Irish myths and legends. They were my first experiences on stage. She told my mum I was destined for the stage, and I took that as my cue. — Laura Donnelly

That anonymous coward is probably forty years old with raging BO and still living in his mum's granny flat — Gabrielle Tozer

He's what my old mum would call a bombastic little nit of a man. — Jacqueline Winspear

I'm determined not to start dressing like I'm 45 years old now that I'm a mum. — Abbey Clancy

I like fashion. My mum was a dressmaker, believe it or not, so the consequence of that was that all my clothes were homemade, and I looked like a terrible mess until I was old enough to buy my own. But I love good tailoring. — Jason Statham

I was really into old musicals. When I was seven or eight, my mum and dad would be like, 'How does she know who Ginger Rogers is?' Then, one weekend, Josephine Baker popped up in a French film called 'Zouzou,' and I was so stunned because she looked like me. — Cush Jumbo

Cumberbatch - it sounds like a fart in a bath, doesn't it? What a fluffy old name. I can never say it on a Monday morning. When I became an actor, Mum wasn't keen on me keeping it. — Benedict Cumberbatch

When I was eight years old, I asked my mum, 'Mum, can I do two jobs?' And she was like, 'Absolutely!' 'Cause I'd like to act for 15 years and then direct for 15 years.' — Charlie Rowe

Jess actually dreaded having a boyfriend, because of having to tell her mum. Perhaps she would just avoid it until her mum eighty or something and in an old-people's home, and then Jess, who would by then be about fifty, would drop by and casually remark, "Oh, by the way, Mum, I've got a boyfriend." And even then her mum would probebly hurtle out of her wheelchair and smack her hard across the face, crying "You trash! You whore! Get outta my house--I mean, my room!" It was hard sometimes, being the daughter of a radical feminist who hated men. — Sue Limb

My dad had to work for everything in his life; so did my mum: she cleaned people's houses and looked after old people. You can be complacent and sit on the couch and complain about the dreams that you missed. Get off the couch! — Sam Worthington

When I was three and a half years old, I heard my big sister tell my mum that at school that day all the kids sat on the floor and watched 'The Neverending Story.' Having never heard of the movie, I concluded that this was what school must be: sitting cross legged on the floor listening to a never-ending story. Page after page. — Caterina Scorsone

My mum left my dad when I was six months old, so I don't know him at all. I had no male figures in my life, really. I had my godfather, but he's more like a grandfather, so I was quite sheltered. I've never tried to find my father. — Catherine Tate

My childhood was kind of complicated. I have an older sister, but my father, my mother's husband, died when I was four years old. So I only had my mum and sister, really. — Orlando Bloom

My father was having an affair with a 16-year-old when Mum was pregnant with me. She found out when I was three weeks old and left, not surprisingly. — Carol Vorderman