Oberon The Dog Quotes & Sayings

Come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire. Oberon — Kevin Hearne

Never thought I'd see a jaguar brought to its knees by rhino shit. Oberon — Kevin Hearne

Lie down and offer your throat. No, wait, that's how dogs submit. I know! Offer her you're wallet! Oberon — Kevin Hearne

We don't need to play her witch's games. They always want to get you and your little dog, too." "I knew I never should have let you watch The Wizard of Oz." "Toto didn't deserve that kind of trauma. He was so tiny. — Kevin Hearne

You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget; they just get too excited. — Kevin Hearne

Oberon:She's a very clever girl, the kind you dont' take home to Ogma. — Kevin Hearne

I think every creature near enough to hear that just pooped" Oberon said, "And then it went into hiding. Hunting tip number one:Stay Silent. — Kevin Hearne

Atticus "What's this religion going to be called?"
Oberon "Poochism"
A:"and the name of this holy writ I will be typing for you?"
O:"The dead flea scrolls: A Sirius Prophecy. — Kevin Hearne

This is weird, I feel like I should be telling you a story right now. Oberon — Kevin Hearne

That's what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside."
"I've run into some of those at the dog park," Oberon said. "They're usually attached to Chihuahuas. — Kevin Hearne

Not everyone can be bribed with meat, Oberon."
"They Can't? Oh! you mean they're vegetarian."
"No, they eat meat. It just doesn't sway their decision making process."
"Well that ... that's just wrong, Atticus!Are they Monsters? It's like they have no moral center! — Kevin Hearne

Oh, I know. They're dwarfs pretending to be elves.
No, they're not dwarfs either.
Okay, okay, they're "little people," I'm sorry! Can't believe I have to be politically correct when you're the only one who can hear me. — Kevin Hearne

Sensei?" she asked. "Yes?" "Why are you always leaving about halfway through a workout to give Oberon a snack?" "What? Well, he's a good dog." "Granted, but he's a good dog all the time, and the only times you interrupt what you're doing to give him a snack are during workouts." "I reward him sometimes for using big words. And sometimes I reward him for shutting up." Now would be a good time to shut up. Deal. "So what did he say just now?" Granuaile asked. "I'm sorry, but that's classified information. — Kevin Hearne