Obama Funny Quotes & Sayings

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through! — George Lopez

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you. — Barack Obama

When you snatch happiness in little bits, fits and starts, and lose it, like me, you become coarse, little by little, you become hateful. — Sarah Ruhl

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible. — Barack Obama

Suffering will always be there. You'll always have the poor. You have to own your own progress. It is true that because of the economy and the fear factor the president [Barack Obama] is able to execute a lot of promises that it would be difficult to deliver it not for the fear factor. It's funny. He's delivering on what he promised and we call it fear. — Russell Simmons

The presidency has a funny way of making a person feel the need to pray. — Barack Obama

No matter how hard I tried to popularize, I never cheapened a great work of art. — Thomas Hoving

The first thing that any good artist has to develop is a sense of independence from the artworld. What really destroys a young artist is insecurity, the fear that everything could be taken away at any moment. — Jeff Koons

Came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! — Lewis Carroll

Over the weekend, of course, down there in Washington, D.C., they had the big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do you know who was really funny? President Obama. So funny, in fact, he has already been promised 'The Tonight Show' in five years. — David Letterman

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. — Barack Obama

I used to quite fancy Russell Brand, but I'm not sure if it's just because he's funny. He's definitely got something and I can't just switch all that off because of one stupid moment. I fancy Barack Obama too, which is a wrong crush, isn't it? He's a married man, and he's quite old, but he looks young, so he's fair game. — Konnie Huq

Mom," say Malia Obame, "why dont you go get the photo albem of dad when he was a small boy, maybe it will jossel his memery."
"Good idea," Michele Obame say. "I guess thats why we call you the smart one," she go, and cast a look of disapoint at Sashe Obame. — Seinfeld 2000

I have a crush on Steve Tyler. He's funny, he rocks, and has a voice like a god. There is another one who I have discovered can sing. I should try and make an album with him ... it's Barack Obama! — Lulu

It is easy to dismiss the world as 'irrelevant,' or consumed by 'paranoid anti-Americanism,' but perhaps not wise. — Noam Chomsky

But you see, a rich country like America can perhaps afford to be stupid. — Barack Obama

Church socials, beauty shops and barbershops. If two guys were standing on a corner, I would cross the street to hand them campaign literature. And everywhere I went, I'd get some version of the same two questions. "Where'd you get that funny name?" And then: "You seem — Barack Obama

Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow! — Barack Obama

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it. — Barack Obama

He's always asking: 'Is that new? I haven't seen that before.' It's like, Why don't you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet. — Michelle Obama

I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way. — Mo Rocca

People always - I think were surprised about me connecting with folks in small town Iowa. And the reason I did was - first of all, I had the benefit that at the time nobody expected me to win. And so I wasn't viewed through this prism of Fox News and conservative media making me scary. At the time, I didn't think seem scary, other than just having a funny name. I seemed young. — Barack Obama

There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hard work, choices, and persistence. — Michelle Obama

Instead of fixing the econamy, U.S. "Presedent" (recount pls) Bary Obame is back in the Ovel Office. Hes sitting on the sofa in the midle of pretty inappropriete gmail G-chat with actres Scarlet Johansen.
"OK Scarlat, thank you for emailing me so many nude photos. They were very provocetive LOL. And thank you for offer me sex intercorse " Obame type, and because its gmail G-chat, the make a 90-degree clock wise turn and anamate into a smile emoji. "Good nite. — Seinfeld 2000

Nobody really thinks that Bush or McCain have a real answer for the challenges we face, so what they're going to try to do is make you scared of me. You know, he's not patriotic enough. He's got a funny name. You know, he doesn't look like all those other presidents on those dollar bills, you know. He's risky. — Barack Obama

It's funny, everywhere I go some people ask me whether it's going to be a Latino breakthrough, some people ask me whether it's going to be a female breakthrough, and then I'm reminded that five years ago we didn't even know Barack Obama's name. — Gwen Ifill

Daddy binders, bruh?
Obama: Governor Romney loves him some binders, doesn't he. — Kiese Laymon

The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, I don't need a pardon. I need a job.' — Conan O'Brien

I was standing on the deck of the USS Blue, a destroyer. We were all alone out there at this buoy, tied up. — Barney Ross

A relentless focus on the outward markers of success can lead to complacency. It can make you lazy. — Barack Obama

One thing that gets lost in all the aggregation throughout this book: on an individual level, the personal affects of these broad social forces are often very subtle... when you go person by person, any individual's experience is too small and too varied to conclusively say anything racial has happened. It could be your skin or it could be just you. On the other side of it, it's laughable to think of one red-faced guy searching for n****r jokes because Barak Obama got elected, but it's a lot less funny when you can see that he's one of thousands and thousands making the same search. And it's less funny still when you see the large affects these private attitudes can still have, even in public life. Thus the story of just one of us versus the story of us all. That's why data like this is necessary; it ends arguments that anecdotes could never win. It provides facts that need facing. — Christian Rudder

When freedom prevails, the ingenuity and inventiveness of people creates incredible wealth. This is the source of the natural improvement of the human condition. — Brian S. Wesbury

If you have spent any time with Barack Obama, you know he's a funny guy. He's a good guy. He knows sports. — Ed Rendell

U.S. Presedent Barack Sadam Husene Obame sit in the darkened Oval Ofice at 2 a.m. wearing hes traditienel Kenyan roabe.
He take one last bite of the Chicago style deep dish pizza that he has flown to him every day on the Amerecan tax payer's dime and wipe the grease off his mouth with the U.S. consititutien.
He get up and walk to desk, where he keeps the Kenyan black magic crystle ball. Its black glow iluminate his face.
"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo - which basic U.S. freedoms are next to go?" he say aloud to no one and every one at the same time.
Then he flash that trade mark Bary Obame million doller grin as a crack of lightning sound in the distence. — Seinfeld 2000

His question is pretty dangerous for me to try to answer, so I don't - it continues to hang out there like the stained underwear at a slumber party that goes unclaimed. — Jen Naumann

God has a funny way of reminding us we're human. [About his impromptu water break during his delivery of the GOP rebuttal to President Barack Obama's State of the Union on February 12, 2013] — Marco Rubio

Whoever saves one life, saves a world entire." - Talmud — Danielle Steel

I felt like my vote was the vote that put [Obama] into office. It was down to one vote, and that was going to be my vote. And that may not be true, but that's how much power it felt like I had. — Puff Daddy