Nursing Humor Quotes & Sayings

I have to admit," I said when he finished a lengthy discussion on the types of drivers, "I've been golfing and it's about the most boring thing I've ever done. Old men drive around in golf carts pretending they're sporty and getting grouchy if there's any noise. It's like the nursing-home Olympics."
Nick's mouth dropped open. "It takes great athletic ability to know how to aim and drive the ball that far."
"I get more exercise shopping at the mall," I joked. "I don't come home and tell everyone I won at shopping." Although those red shoes I got on sale the other day felt like a win. — Cindi Madsen

When the time came that His first-born, the Saviour, should come into the world and take a tabernacle, the Father came Himself and favoured that spirit with a tabernacle instead of letting any other man do it. — Brigham Young

Language is therefore "both the medium and the object of representation" (Fludernik 2009:64), and while we have direct access to the medium (i.e. the language(s) on the level of text), the latter (i.e. the language(s) on the level of narration and on the level of story) can only be constructed from the former. As pointed out in the introduction, this distinction between language as medium and language as object and the relationship between the two has so far not been awarded a significant role in scholarly writing about the linguistic hybridity typical for cross-cultural writing. Differentiating between the language(s) as medium and the language(s) as object becomes necessary, as the relation between medium and object is not one-to-one. The same medium can represent different objects. Two short — Susanne Klinger

So the gods," Moash said, nursing his own drink, "were pleased that you solved problems on your own ... by going to other gods and begging them for help instead?"
"Hush," Rock said. "Is good story. — Brandon Sanderson

Unleash your life's potential! Don't hold back on the things you've always wanted to do. Go for it! — Denise Austin

Now, what is forbidden to the summoner, or any wizard, is to call a living spirit. We can call to them, yes. We can send to them a voice or a presentment, a seeming, of ourself. But we do not summon them, in spirit or in flesh, to come to us. Only the dead may we summon. Only the shadows. You can see why this must be. To summon a living man is to have entire power over him, body and mind. No one, no matter how strong or wise or great, can rightly own and use another. — Ursula K. Le Guin

[On Alfred Hitchcock:] Hitch is a gentleman farmer who raises goose flesh. — Ingrid Bergman

HUMOR IS POWER." ~ Karyn Buxman, RN, neurohumorist Chapter 1 What's NOT So Funny About Nursing? 12 hour shifts . . . Doctors with attitude . . . Cranky co-workers . . . Frequent flyers . . . Non-compliant patients . . . Frustrated administrators . . . Antibiotic-resistant superbugs . . . Healthcare reform . . . Disorganized supply closets . . . Dwindling budgets . . . Increasing workloads . . . Bad hospital coffee. — Karyn Buxman

Florence had noticed one or two eccentricities in herself lately, which might be the result of hard work, or of age, or of living alone. When the letters came, for example, she often found herself wasting time in looking at the postmarks and wondering whoever they could be from, instead of opening them in a sensible manner and finding out at once. — Penelope Fitzgerald

Whenever I can, in my study, on the subway, in bed before going to sleep, I immerse myself in Italian. I enter another land, unexplored, murky. A — Jhumpa Lahiri

My voice mail message says I work nights and sleep days. Everyone who knows me, knows this. And still, people who aren't employed at the Nursing Office feel compelled to call me before three P.M. Certain people feel compelled to call me repeatedly, until I pick up - namely, dicks. — Cassie Alexander

I planned to reintroduce him to my friends lorazepam and oxycodone in a big, big way. — Cassie Alexander

I'm so thankful I can write songs. I can capture all those memories in my songs and keep those memories alive. — Dolly Parton

The TV shouted an old black-and-white film he didn't recognize, wheelchairs facing it like church pews. — Sere Prince Halverson

I sank into the chair and checked to see if the charge nurse could see me - not if I didn't lean out too far. The night was looking up! Two patients who ought to sleep all night long, and an Internet connection. How lucky was I? Pretty damn lucky, at least until someone needed a diaper change. — Cassie Alexander

A camel in distress isn't a shy creature. It doesn't hang around in bars, nursing a solitary drink. It doesn't phone up old friends and sob at them. It doesn't mope, or write long soulful poems about Life and how dreadful it is when seen from a bedsitter. It doesn't know what angst is. — Terry Pratchett

I wrote your name across my heart
So I would not forget.
The way I felt when you were born
Before we'd even met

I wrote your name across my heart
So your heart beats with mine
And when I miss you most I trace
Each loop and every line

I wrote your name across my heart,
So we could be together
So I could hold you close to me
And keep you there forever. — Amy Harmon

If nursing were easy, there wouldn't be so many helpful products. — Cassi Clark

The feeling of betrayal by the friend you trust — Jeon Tae-il

If we wear our nursing covers backwards like capes, then everyone can see we're breastfeeding superheroes. — Cassi Clark

Dare to conquer your soul. — Lailah Gifty Akita

True independence is not based on fear. It contains within it an ability to be close to others, coupled with a choice to be free and autonomous. — Gay Hendricks

I don't want to be like her, like Vivian. I don't want to hurt anyone. Am I going to hurt people?"
"No one can make you do that, child. You are caught between two worlds, much like my own Lend. You will want the fire, you will want to be filled. It is your nature. I hope you do not fall, but she is much stronger than you are."
She smiled at me, reaching out as though she would wipe away my tears. "Cling to what is good in your life. Be good to my son. — Kiersten White

Go hug a nursing mom -- but not too hard. Her boobs may hurt. — Cassi Clark