Not Getting Pregnant Quotes & Sayings

I'm probably sterile. At least I can stop worrying about getting girls pregnant (if I ever get to have sex with them). Do you still get horny if your nuts are broken? My eyes open, and I find Andre standing over me, saying, "I felt your nads through my helmet!" I stop writhing for a second to give him props. "That's gold, dude! — Brent Crawford

At one point in my life, I wanted to do a master's degree in Irish literature, but I ended up getting pregnant instead. — Miriam Toews

Karen shuts the back door and turns to me. "You know I trust you, but please ... "
"Don't get pregnant," I interrupt. "I know, I know. You've been saying that every time you leave for the past two years. I'm not getting pregnant, Mom. Only terribly high and cracked out."
She laughs and hugs me. "Good girl. And wasted. Don't forget to get really wasted. — Colleen Hoover

I like Fall, tending to prefer the transitional seasons, because they don't have weather, just foreshadowing. It's not cold yet, but it's getting colder. You look hippest in this weather, dressed in your faux-proletariat thrift store jacket and long pants to hide your dorky knees. Fall seems pregnant with the possibility of simpler things, a straight-forward future. — Al Burian

For someone who'd spent most of his adult life fearful of getting girls pregnant, I thought my unexpected paternal trial was turning out reasonably well. — Richelle Mead

The trouble with getting introspective when you're pregnant is that you never know who you might run into. — Carrie Fisher

Instead of getting the house like Mount Vernon, they had moved into the little house on Greentree Avenue in Westport, and Betsy had become pregnant, and he had thrown the vase against the wall, and the washing machine had broken down. And Grandmother had died and left her house to somebody, and instead of being made vice-president of J. H. Nottersby, Incorporated, he had finally arrived at a job where he tested mattresses, was uneasy when his boss said he wanted to see him without explaining why, and lived in fear of an elevator operator. — Sloan Wilson

It's like getting your girlfriend pregnant, you can't unscrew her. — Ben Lopez

Republican presidential hopeful Mike Hucka-BS is attacking actress Natalie Portman for getting pregnant without being married. It could get a little awkward if he runs into Sarah and Bristol Palin at Fox News. — Jay Leno

Maybe love was a myth anyhow, a brew of hormones and fantasy, evolution's way of getting men and women together long enough for them to procreate,back in the day when girls got pregnant at twelve, were pregnant or nursing for the next twenty years, and were dead of the plague by forty. — Jennifer Weiner

I'm more honest in my lyrics than I am in anything else. It's where I feel the most safe to express myself. I write about growing up, my family, Maddie and getting pregnant. If I've lived it, why wouldn't I talk about it? I guess that's been the coolest thing-realizing that it's OK to just be myself and really tell my story. — Jamie Lynn Spears

From the moment I was first pregnant, and those around me insisted that treats such as cold cuts and nail polish could cut my unborn child's potential IQ in half, I got into the habit of NOT seeking out the little things that brought me joy. Like soft cheese. And getting too close to a Starbucks.
Then my son came, and I was too busy crying while searching for his User Manual to consider a manicure or massage.
I lasted about a week as a new mom before reaching out to others in my situation online. As exhausted, cranky, and confused as I was, I needed friends.
It didn't take long for this gaggle of desperate, sleepless women to meet up in person ... — Kim Bongiorno

I was told I had a two per cent chance of getting pregnant, so I say she's a two per cent baby. — Nicole Kidman

Some people are afraid of change and [feel] that getting older is a bad thing, but I really love maturing and gaining wisdom, and the experience of being pregnant and having a child and seeing what a woman's body can do is amazing. — Christina Aguilera

The house swallowed them. Dylan put his hands on Kim's and Liam's shoulders. "The Goddess bless you both." He kissed Kim's forehead. "Thank you Kim."
He smiled and walked away. Liam watched him, his heart full.
"Is he thanking me for getting pregnant?" Kim asked. "It wasn't difficult, with all the sex we kept having. You did as much as I did. — Jennifer Ashley

The thought of getting pregnant again is terrific birth control. — Bethany Lopez

The Missing Tile syndrome is ubiquitous. If you are overweight, all you see are flat stomachs and perfect physical specimens. If you have pimples, all you see is flawless skin. Women who have difficulty getting pregnant walk around seeing only pregnant women and babies. Nor do you need to be overweight, have pimples, be balding, or want a child to believe that you have a missing tile. You can allow any real - or merely perceived - flaw to diminish your happiness. — Dennis Prager

Well, at least someone around here is getting pregnant," Alexander said through clenched teeth, bending in his own stricken fury. "And it didn't take fifteen fucking years."
"Like I'd keep any baby that was yours!" cried Tatiana. "I'd take a coat hanger to it before I kept one of your babies!"
Alexander hit her so hard across the face that she reeled sideways and fell to the ground. Blinded he stood over her. Guttural sounds were coming from his throat. Her arms covered her head. "You have stepped out of all bounds, all decency," he said, yanking her up. "I can't believe how much you hate me. — Paullina Simons

I'm definitely not getting married. In this business, you're either getting married or they want you to be pregnant. I'm not getting married until I'm forty. If ever. — Zac Efron

When all of your friends are getting pregnant, you start thinking about it. But for Amy and I, show business is our baby. — Will Arnett

Nothing Personal? You've harrassed my mother, stolen my car, and now you're telling people I've gotten you pregnant! In my opinion, getting someone pregnant is pretty fucking personal! Jesus, isn't it enough I'm accused of murder? What are you the bounty hunter from hell? — Janet Evanovich

Rebecca let out a gusty sigh. "Pregnant, I tell you. I'm definitely getting pregnant." Her mother responded by passing over the tearful little guy. Not a bad idea, Jane decided. Birth control by baby brother — Christie Ridgway

Pregnancy is getting company inside one's skin. — Maggie Scarf

The cliche had it that kids were the future, but that wasn't it: they were the unreflective, active present. They were not themselves nostalgic, because they couldn't be, and they retarded nostalgia in their parents. Even as they were getting sick and being bullied and becoming addicted to heroin and getting pregnant, they were in the moment, and she wanted to be in it with them. She wanted to worry herself sick about schools and bullying and drugs. — Nick Hornby

According to the Western model, pregnancy is a disease, menopause is a disease, and even getting pregnant is a disease. Dangerous drugs and devices are given to women, but not to men- just for birth control. I've reached the conclusion that to many doctors BEING A WOMAN IS A DISEASE — Barbara Seaman

Your forties is not the time to be thinking about getting pregnant. — Marcia Cross

Shit ... I don't know anything about babies. I mean, I literally know nothing. I'll be a terrible father. oh my God, I asked you to pick up that heavy box the other night. Pregnant women can't pick up heavy stuff, right? Shit! No more getting your hair done, all those toxic chemicals and shit. — Kimberly Lauren

Of months, he began encouraging people to talk to me, even foes and former girlfriends. Nor did he try to put anything off-limits. "I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, such as getting my girlfriend pregnant when I was twenty-three and the way I handled that," he said. "But I don't have any — Walter Isaacson

Another thing that seems quite helpful to the creative process is having babies. It does not detract at all from one's creativity. It reminds one that there is always more where that came from and there is never any shortage of ideas or of the ability to create. The process of being pregnant and then of having the baby and getting up in the night only puts one more in touch with this fecund part of one's self. — Fay Weldon

I wanted a child, and there was no way I could get pregnant under the stress of 18-hour work days and live TV. When you're somebody who's used to making a decision about what they want to do and getting it and achieving it, when your body fails you, it's a whole other experience. — Kara DioGuardi

Everyone is sinning, so it's no longer rebellious to sin. You're just a conformist if you're drunk; and naked; driving around in a loud motorcycle; smoking cigarrettes; breaking commandments; getting pregnant out of wedlock. Everyone's done that. That's so tired! — Mark Driscoll

Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody. — Chelsea Handler

Michael always said if he could get them to eighteen without going to jail or getting a girl pregnant he'd consider it a success. — Brigid Kemmerer

You know, in Hollywood you know when somebody is getting pregnant. It's supposed to be this beautiful scene: the rays are coming in and you have these beautiful perfect bodies lying on top of each other and there's the room glowing in one person's eyes and the sun coming up over the other person's shoulder. — Staceyann Chin

My job title was youth advocate. My approach was unconditional positive regard. My mission was to help the girl youth succeed in spite of the unspeakably harrowing crap stew they'd been simmering in all of their lives. Succeeding in this context meant getting neither pregnant nor locked up before graduating high school. It meant eventually holding down a job at Taco Bell or Walmart. It was only that! It was such a small thing and yet it was enormous. It was like trying to push an eighteen-wheeler with your pinkie finger. I was not technically qualified to be a youth advocate. I'd never worked with youth or counseled anyone. I had degrees in neither education nor psychology. I'd been a waitress who wrote stories every chance I got for most of the preceding years. But for some reason, I wanted this job and so I talked my way into it. I wasn't meant to let the girls know I was — Cheryl Strayed

I mean, Charlie and I have never had issues pleasuring each other before, but damn, Charlie getting pregnant equals crazy sex. Wild sex. Sex that makes me feel like I'm being used. Best. Feeling.Ever. — Layne Harper

Emily Procter getting pregnant changed the show for me. I got so much more involved, which was so much fun! Now I feel like an action figure Barbie. — Eva LaRue

Like I didn't know what getting a girl pregnant meant: sex. Boys lay down on top of girls and wiggled around until they got the feeling. When that happened, a mysterious something called jizz came from the boy's dink. It sank into the girl's belly, and nine months later it was time for diapers and a baby carriage. — Stephen King

I also discovered Pilates when I got pregnant, as people kept saying it's a great way to stay in shape, and now I can't get enough - it's amazing. It helps with aches and pain and, even for non-pregnant people, it's a great way of getting those lean muscles. — Olivia Wilde

The male tax?"
"Yeah. The tax that men have to pay for not having to menstruate every month. Or risk getting pregnant. Or deal with the physically stronger sex in a macho world ... Women have to put up with all that stuff, so the least we men can do is pay the male tax and get the tab. — Zack Love

For some people, getting pregnant is as easy as catching cold. And there certainly was an analogy there: Colds and babies were both caused by germs which loved nothing so much as a mucous membrane. — Kurt Vonnegut

Seasons 5 and 6 were about the frustrations of Leslie Knope's new job. They also are about Ben and Leslie finally getting married and pregnant. They dealt with Ann and Chris leaving, Andyand April trying to figure out what they wanted, Donna finding love, and Tom entering a new business venture. I forget what happened with Jerry. — Amy Poehler

I was the first in my peer group to get pregnant. All I craved was reassurance. I needed someone to tell me that all the seemingly random symptoms I had - weird things, such as excess saliva - were normal. And I was worried because I wasn't getting any morning sickness. — Heidi Murkoff

Sylvie's sort of pregnant. Well not sort of. She is. Pregnant. Actually pregnant with a baby.'
'Oh Dexter! Do you know the father? I'm kidding! Congratulations, Dex. God, aren't you meant to space your bombshells out a bit. Not just drop them all at once?'
She held his face in both hands, looked at it.
'You're getting married?-'
'Yes'
-'And you're going to be a father?'
'I know! Fuck me a father!'
'Is that allowed? I mean will they let you?'
'Apparently'
'I think it's wonderful. Fucking hell, Dexter, I turn my back for one minute ... !'
She hugged him once again her arms high round his neck. She felt drunk, full of affection and a certain sadness too, as if something was coming to an end. She wanted to say something along these lines, but thought it best to do this through a joke.
'Of course you've destroyed any chance I had of future happiness, but I'm delighted for you, really. — David Nicholls

What did your mom say?"
"She said I better not be pregnant."
Janie snorts. "What the hell is wrong with our parents, anyway? Wait
you're not, are you?"
"Of course not! Sheesh, Janers! I may not have gotten the best grades in school, but I'm not stupid. You know I'm on the Pill. And his Jimmy doesn't get near me without a raincoat, yadamean? Ain't nothin' getting through my little fortress! — Lisa McMann

This is a fucking outrage! No son of mine isn't going to suck my dick! Get out of my sight, you dirty freak. I'll never forgive your mother for stepping into a cloud of CHEMTRAIL when she was pregnant with you! You are getting above your raising, boy! Makes me so angry I could cum in my own son's mouth! — G. Arthur Brown

You act like getting pregnant is a disease you can catch from public toilets. — Rainbow Rowell

Who would care if I became pregnant, who would be scandalized? Aunty Eva, Anwar's flatmates. Omar would never know unless I wrote to him. Uncle Saleh was across the world. A few years back, getting pregnant would have shocked Khartoum society, given my father a heart attack, dealt a blow ti my mother's marriage, and mild, modern Omar, instead of beating me, would called me a slut. And now nothing, no one. This empty space was called freedom. — Leila Aboulela

Basic research is not the same as development. A crash programme for the latter may be successful; but for the former it is like trying to make nine women pregnant at once in the hope of getting a baby in a month's time. — Richard Doll

We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and some of these other shows are more racist. Or '16 and Pregnant.' Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? — Chelsea Handler

And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow — Dennis Miller

I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, such as getting my girlfriend pregnant when I was 23 and the way I handled that. — Steve Jobs

By the time kids are 15, they're drunks and they're drug addicts and they're getting chicks pregnant. The parents wonder, "What did I do wrong?" What you did wrong was, you were never there. You had the kid as a status symbol, that's what went wrong. And you're paying the price for it. — Andrew Dice Clay

There is no reason to not trust your process, no reason to get frustrated, no reason to criticize, or judge others, nothing wrong with getting old, or not being able to get pregnant, or being handicapped, or being short or tall or gay, or injured, or divorced or married to an idiot, or with Christianity or Judaism or Islam, or indigenous beliefs, or pollution, crime, war, Bush, etc. When this understanding grows, we realize where we're at now is just as perfect as wherever we could possibly get to. — Bryan Kest

No matter how great the talent or efforts, some things just take time. You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant. — Warren Buffett

By the time I was in high school, Roe v. Wade had passed, so that was also happening; girls were getting pregnant and getting abortions - and that happened in my school too. — Annette Bening

Growing up in rural Utah had a lot of benefits, but in an environment that prized conformity, fit wasn't one of them. I ended up in my senior year with a 0.9 GPA, which I think you actually have to work pretty hard to get. In the exact same month they kicked me out of school, my girlfriend - still my wife today - told me she was pregnant. So, it was an interesting start to life: working 10 or 12 minimum-wage jobs; getting bored really quickly and quitting; having my in-laws - rightly - in full panic mode and thinking I had some kind of character flaw. — L. Todd Rose

Doctors would only prescribe birth control in the most dire of circumstances, and even then, what form of birth control would they prescribe? There were no reliable options, except perhaps the condom. But condoms depended on the cooperation of men, and Sanger's experience in the tenements of New York City told her that men didn't mind six or seven children so long as they were able to enjoy sex when the mood struck them. Women were the ones dealing most with the consequences of sex, not only because they were the ones getting pregnant but also because they were the ones raising the children. — Jonathan Eig

You feel pretty gross when you are first pregnant. You don't feel cute, you feel disgusting. You're getting fat. It was hard. — Gwen Stefani

You do get the pregnant mush-brain ... you know what it's like? It's like getting stoned. — Kate Hudson

There's nothing wrong with being a pretty girl, because you want to be, desirable. There's nothing wrong with that, but you should have a plan B even if that is getting pregnant by a rich dude. — Pauly Shore

I was pregnable once," Merill thought to contribute. She remembered how troublesome it made getting around, having a ripe belly. Couldn't roll properly, couldn't hop properly, couldn't romp or flop properly. There were the cravings for roasted cabbage - she loathed cabbage, with its leaves and growing in rows. And labor! Merill passed out during childbirth. She'd endured burns, lacerations, rips, serrated teeth, nails, hooks and a trove of unmentionable harm-inflictors. Labor trounced them all and wriggled gleefully in the spray of blood and gore. "Being pregnable is no good. No good at all. Like growing a bitter melon in your belly. — Darrell Drake

All my friends were in the park smoking weed and getting pregnant. I didn't want to be the young black girl having a baby, a baby's father, being on welfare. That wasn't going to be my story. — Foxy Brown

My first strike was marrying a guy without a college degree. My second and third were getting pregnant. I suppose that when I didn't go on to become the next Gloria Allred, she was justified in counting me a failure. And I suppose that until now, I was justified in thinking that I wasn't one. — Jodi Picoult

You start doing your research and realizing that the fertility rate for women drops considerably. And you're like, "Oh my God, now I want to get pregnant, and now it's a crazy time where I might not be able to get pregnant because I'm getting older and my eggs are aging and my uterus isn't as fertile as it used to be and my loins are not where they used to be." — Staceyann Chin

Barefoot and pregnant. After the ruckus last night, I suppose I wouldn't be all that shocked if you managed it," Elijah muttered as Stunt passed him.

Stunt was officially in hell. It was like getting caught by his parents having sex. Worse...kinky sex. — Lyn Gala

It's because I'm pregnant, Christian."
He snorts, and his mouth twists into an ironic smile. "If I knew getting you knocked up was going to make you eat, I might have done it earlier. — E.L. James

Later that day, Ray Brown and Evelyn came to see me. Ray was in a jovial mood, laughing his head off. "Well, you've really done it this time. I don't know what we're going to do with you. His honor is going to give you a strong reprimand for getting pregnant during his trial. — Assata Shakur