No Epidural Quotes & Sayings

Prayer ... panacea for some, placebo to others. I thought of it as an epidural administered through the soul to anesthetize the mind. — Clyde DeSouza

When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman came up and she said, I have one word for you: epidural. And I was like, Oh my God, thanks. But we already picked a name. — Bonnie McFarlane

Breathe! Breathe! I urged Lily. You can do this naturally.
Fuck that. I want my epidural as soon as we get there. — Erica Orloff

Why does the longing for love have to be so acute, like a desperate thirst? Is it because love is wanting to be saved and we can never really be saved? Maybe love is really born of our fears. Love is the heart's desire for a painkiller; a tearful plea for a great big epidural. Yes that's it: love is the only anesthesia that really works. And so people with broken hearts are really those who are just coming to, and if you've ever seen someone come out of general anesthesia, you know that it looks a lot like the beginnings of a broken heart. — Jonathan Hull

With Ciel and with Rex, I said 'no epidural.' I recovered, I was walking right after I had them, just did a lot of praying all through my pregnancy that they would be healthy and my deliveries would go without a problem. I was really blessed. — Niki Taylor

Personally, I'd have a baby just for the epidural. — Chelsea Handler

It's bad enough to be a baby-making machine with no epidural in sight in exchange for the state-sanctioned title of 'Mrs' before one's name. But to be a 'Miss' with an ever-increasing brood of children, just waiting for the man to grow weary of stretch marks and spit-ups? No thank you? — Laurie Viera Rigler

After the epidural was firmly in place, I double checked that we had a waiver on file that states we would own the hospital should my wife become paralyzed. If I was going to feed her mashed peas and wipe her ass until we die, I wanted to be rich. — Tara Sivec

Drugs and medical technology can be enormously beneficial when used to take care of real complications, but too often they are abused when applied to women birthing normally. These women are thus subjected to unnecessary risks. The key to this problem is informed consent, an ideal too seldom realized. Informed consent means that no woman during pregnancy or labor should ever be deceived into thinking that any drug or procedure (Demerol, Seconal, spinals, caudals, epidurals, paracervical block, etc.) is guaranteed safe. Not only are there no guaranteed safe drugs, but many of them have well-known, recognized side effects and potential side effects.
Informed consent should mean that no woman would ever hear such falsehoods as, "This is harmless," or, "I only give it in such a small dose that it can't affect the baby," or, "This is just a local and won't reach the baby. — Susan McCutcheon

(I always thought that they should make an epidural that works from the neck up, which was a condition I aspired to for most of what I laughingly refer to as my adult life.) — Carrie Fisher

I know we can't always know what medical surprises may happen during childbirth. But my hope is to go fully natural - no epidural, no interventions. Wish me luck. — Danica McKellar

High anxiety may slow down labor, which may lead to medical interventions such as the use of oxytocin or other drugs, epidural block, or cesarean section. (L. — Rachel Gurevich

They hate me because I am the worst thing possible. I am the bad mother.

But here's a secret: in America there are no good mothers. They simply don't exist. Always, there are a thousand ways to fail at this singularly important job. There are failures of the body and failures of the heart. The woman who is unable to breastfeed is a failure. The woman who screams for the epidural is a failure. The woman who picks up her child late knows from the teacher's cutting glance that she is a failure. The woman who shares her bed with her baby has failed. The woman who steels herself and puts on noise-canceling earphones to erase the screaming of her child the next room has failed just as spectacularly. They must all hang their heads in guilt and shame because they haven't done it perfectly, and motherhood is, if anything, the assumption of perfection. — Nayomi Munaweera

Even if you are planning a birth with an epidural, the evidence suggests that a doula can help make things go much more smoothly. — Emily Oster

I feel like, when I arrive at the hospital, I want a glass of whiskey, I want the epidural in my back and I want to get hit in the face with a baseball bat. — Kristen Bell