Niffenegger Audrey Quotes & Sayings

The apartment is a laboratory in which we conduct experiments, perform research on each other. We discover Henry hates it when I absentmindedly click my spoon against my teeth while reading the paper at breakfast. We agree that it is okay for me to listen to Joni Mitchell and it is okay for Henry to listen to the Shaggs as long as the other person isn't around. We figure out that Henry should do all the cooking and I should be in charge of laundry and neither of us is willing to vacuum so we hire a cleaning service. — Audrey Niffenegger

But you make me happy. It's living up to being happy that's the difficult part. — Audrey Niffenegger

When the woman you live with is an artist, every day is a surprise. — Audrey Niffenegger

The space that I can call mine, that isn't full of Henry, is so small that my ideas have become small. — Audrey Niffenegger

Every minute of his life since then has been marked by her absence, every action has lacked dimension because she is not there to measure against. — Audrey Niffenegger

Time passes and the pain begins to roll in and out as though it's a woman standing at an ironing board, passing the iron back and forth, back and forth across a white tablecloth. — Audrey Niffenegger

I now have an erection that is probably tall enough to ride some of the scarier rides at Great America without a parent. — Audrey Niffenegger

You're the oddest person I've ever met, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried. — Audrey Niffenegger

We are often insane with happiness. We are also very unhappy for reasons neither of us can do anything about. Like being separated. — Audrey Niffenegger

You can still be cool when you're dead. In fact, it's much easier, because you aren't getting old and fat and losing your hair. — Audrey Niffenegger

I reach up and pull my hair back from my face, show him the scar from the accident. Unconsciously, he mimics my gesture, touches the same scar on his own forehead.
"It's just like mine," says my self, amazed. "How did you get it?" "The same as you. It is the same. We are the same."
A translucent moment. I didn't understand, and then I did, just like that. I watch it happen. I want to be both of us at once, feel again the feeling of losing the edges of my self, of seeing the admixture of future and present for the first time. But I'm too accustomed, too comfortable with it, and so I am left on the outside, remembering the wonder of being nine and suddenly seeing, knowing, that my friend, guide, brother was me. Me, only me. The loneliness of it. — Audrey Niffenegger

He had never realized, while Elspeth was alive, the extent to which a thing had not completely happened until he told her about it. — Audrey Niffenegger

Why is love intensified by absence? — Audrey Niffenegger

And so the twins had remained virgins. Julia and Valentina watched all of their high school and college friends disappear one by one into the adult world of sex, until they were the only people they knew who lingered in the world of the uninitiated. "What was it like?" they asked each friend. The answers were vague. Sex was a private joke: you had to be there. — Audrey Niffenegger

I am past hunger, past vanity, past caring. — Audrey Niffenegger

I am so tired. Even the word sleep is a lure, a seduction. — Audrey Niffenegger

But I don't want to just believe it, I want it to be true. — Audrey Niffenegger

He is coming, and I am here. — Audrey Niffenegger

He would say her name over and over until it devolved into meaningless sounds - mah REI kuh, mah REI kuh - it became an entry in a dictionary of loneliness. — Audrey Niffenegger

Dream are different than real life but important too. — Audrey Niffenegger

And Clare, always Clare. — Audrey Niffenegger

I make books because I love them as objects; because I want to put the pictures and the words together, because I want to tell a story. — Audrey Niffenegger

In the dim light of the computer screen he seemed otherworldly; Julia thought him beautiful, though she knew it was the beauty of damage. — Audrey Niffenegger

That's what alcoholics do. It's in their job description: fall apart and then keep falling apart. — Audrey Niffenegger

Why do I feel like I'm at the edge of a hole? — Audrey Niffenegger

Roy is my favorite security guy. He's a huge African-American gentleman who always has a beautiful smile on his face. He's the King of the Main Desk, and I'm always glad to arrive at work and bask in his magnificent good cheer. — Audrey Niffenegger

If fervent memory could raise the dead, she would be our Eurydice. — Audrey Niffenegger

But you know: you know that if I could have stayed, if I could have gone on, that I would have clutched every second: whatever it was, this death, you know that it came and took me, like a child carried away by goblins. — Audrey Niffenegger

I'm curious about things that people aren't supposed to see - so, for example, I liked going to the British Museum, but I would like it better if I could go into all the offices and storage rooms, I want to look in all the drawers and - discover stuff. And I want to know about people. I mean, I know it's probably kind of rude but I want to know why you have all these boxes and what's in them and why all your windows are papered over and how long it's been that way and how do you feel when you wash things and why don't you do something about it? — Audrey Niffenegger

He was not in the house. He did not come back that night. Days went by, and at last she understood that he would not return at all. — Audrey Niffenegger

I feel like a pink worm in the core of this green room, as though I have eaten my way in and should be working on becoming a butterfly, or something. I'm not real awake, here, at the moment. I hear somebody coughing. I hear my heart beating and the high-pitched sound which is my nervous system doing its thing. Oh, God, let today be a normal day. Let me be normally befuddled, normally nervous; get me to the church on time, in time. Let me not startle anyone, especially myself. Let me get through our wedding day as best I can, with no special effects. Deliver Clare from unpleasant scenes. Amen. — Audrey Niffenegger

I think about cutting my hair. How nice it would be to wash it, run a quick comb through it, and presto! all set, ready to rock and roll. I sigh. Henry loves my hair almost as though it were a creature unto itself, as though it has a soul to call its own, as though it could love him back. I know he loves it as a part of me, but I also know he would be deeply upset if I cut it off. And I would miss it, too ... it's just so much effort, sometimes I want to take it off like a wig and set it aside while I go out and play. — Audrey Niffenegger

Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow? — Audrey Niffenegger

I love you, always. Time is nothing. Henry — Audrey Niffenegger

Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element. — Audrey Niffenegger

Very few people meet their soulmates at age six. So you gotta pass the time somehow. And Ingrid was very - patient. Overly patient. Willing to put up with odd behavior, in the hope that someday I would shape up and marry her martyred ass. And when somebody is that patient, you have to feel grateful, and then you want to hurt them. Does that make any sense? — Audrey Niffenegger

There's something about the way she says it that makes me feel strange ... It dawns on me that I am jealous. Jesus. I can't believe I'm feeling jealous of a multimillionaire rock star geezer old enough to be Clare's dad. — Audrey Niffenegger

I feel guilty for wanting to avoid the sadness, dead people need us to rememer them, even if it eats us, even if all we can do is say "I am sorry", until its as meaningless as air. — Audrey Niffenegger

Her spirit flew out into the night
And the sky reached down
And drew her up,
And she was filled with light ...
And she is happy. — Audrey Niffenegger

Mama said, Dreams are different to real life but important too. — Audrey Niffenegger

What is more basic than the need to be known? It is the entirety of intimacy, the elixir of love, this knowing. — Audrey Niffenegger

Love you ... " Henry-" Always ... " Oh God oh God-" World enough ... " No!" And time ... " Henry! — Audrey Niffenegger

Look, I am living. On what? Neither the childhood nor future/ grows any smaller ... Superabundant being/ wells up in my heart. — Audrey Niffenegger

He looks sad. Or maybe that's just how he looks when he isn't doing something else with his face. — Audrey Niffenegger

Think for a minute, darling: in fairy tales it's always the children who have the fine adventures. The mothers have to stay at home and wait for the children to fly in the window. — Audrey Niffenegger

Sometimes I am glad when Henry's gone, but I am always glad when he come's back — Audrey Niffenegger

He sometimes had nightmares that featured e-mail. — Audrey Niffenegger

You didn't answer my question. I asked you about being in love. You said what it was like when your wife went away."
Martin sat down again. How young she is. When we were that young we invented the world, no one could tell us a thing. Julia stood with her hands clenched, as though she wanted to pound an answer out of him. "Being in love is ... anxious," he said. "Wanting to please, worrying that she will see me as I really am. But wanting to be known. That is ... you're naked, moaning in the dark, no dignity at all ... I wanted her to see me and to love me even though she knew everything I am, and I knew her. Now she's gone, and my knowledge is incomplete. So all day I imagine what she is doing, what she says and who she talks to, how she looks. I try to supply the missing hours, and it gets harder as they pile up, all the time she's been gone. I have to imagine. I don't know, really. I don't know any more. — Audrey Niffenegger

I sleep all day. Noises flit around the house- garbage truck in the alley, rain, tree rapping against the bedroom window. I sleep. I inhabit sleep firmly, willing it, wielding it, pushing away dreams, refusing, refusing. Sleep is my lover now, my forgetting, my opiate, my oblivion. [ ... ] It is afternoon, it is night, it is morning. Everything is reduced to this bed, this endless slumber that makes the days into one day, makes time stop, stretches and compacts time until it is meaningless. — Audrey Niffenegger

Chicago has so much excellent architecture that they feel obliged to tear some of it down now and then and erect terrible buildings just to help us all appreciate the good stuff. — Audrey Niffenegger

Now I wonder if it means that the future is a place, or like a place, that I could go to; that is go to in some way other
than just getting older. — Audrey Niffenegger

The Garden Under Snow
Now the garden is under snow
a blank page our footprints write on
clare who was never mine
but always belonged to herself
Sleeping Beauty
a crystalline blanket
this is her spring
this is her sleeping/awakening
she is waiting
everything is waiting
the improbable shapes of roots
my baby
her face
a garden, waiting. — Audrey Niffenegger

She talked back, but he didn't understand her raven language of harsh caws and soft croaks. — Audrey Niffenegger

It's living up to being happy that's the most difficult part. — Audrey Niffenegger

I hear a muffled sniffling noise and glancing at Claire I am astonished to see that tears are streaming across her face toward her ears. I sit up and lean over her. — Audrey Niffenegger

CLARE: The library is cool and smells like carpet cleaner, although all I can see is marble. — Audrey Niffenegger

To world enough and time. — Audrey Niffenegger

Nor Time, nor Place, nor Chance, nor Death can bow/my least desires unto the least remove — Audrey Niffenegger

Dead is the most alone you can be. — Audrey Niffenegger

I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way. — Audrey Niffenegger

I love you, always. Time is nothing. — Audrey Niffenegger

I don't want to boss anyone and I don't want to be bossed. — Audrey Niffenegger

Sometimes a thing is - too much - and it has to be isolated and put away." Martin shrugged. "So what's in the boxes is - emotion. In the form of objects."-Her Fearful Symmetry — Audrey Niffenegger

I am so accustomed to living on a metaphysical trapeze that I forget that other people tend to enjoy more solid ground — Audrey Niffenegger

I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming or I'd have cleaned up a little more. My life, I mean, not just the apartment. — Audrey Niffenegger

Everything is still out there: the rooftops and chimneys, the graffiti, the office towers and the cyclists; soon there will be sheep and that immense sky the keep out in the countryside ... Once I thought there were two realities, inner and outer, but perhaps that's a bit meagre; I'm not quite the same person I was last night ... — Audrey Niffenegger

There's always world enough and time. — Audrey Niffenegger

But now, I know, how absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird. — Audrey Niffenegger

Being in love is ... anxious," he said. "Wanting to please, worrying that she will see me as I really am. But wanting to be known. That is ... you're naked, moaning in the dark, no dignity at all ... I wanted her to see me and to love me even though she knew everything I am, and I knew her — Audrey Niffenegger

How could you lose me? I'm not going anywhere."
"I worry that you will get tired of putting up with my undependableness and you will leave me."
Clare puts her sketchbook aside. I sit up. "I won't ever leave you," she says. "Even though you're always leaving me."
"But I never want to leave you. — Audrey Niffenegger

It's hard to be the one who stays. — Audrey Niffenegger

I never wanted to have anything in my life that I couldn't stand losing. But it's too late for that. — Audrey Niffenegger

I told Ing once that she dances like a German and she didn't like it, but it's true: she dances seriously, like lives are hanging in the balance, like precision dancing can save the starving children of India. — Audrey Niffenegger

It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays behind. — Audrey Niffenegger

Chaos is more freedom; in fact, total freedom. But no meaning. I want to be free to act, and I also want my actions to mean something. — Audrey Niffenegger

Each of them warmed to the sound of the other's voice. They lay in the dark together, in distant cities, each of them thinking, We were lucky this time. And they pressed their phones closer to their ears, and both of them wondered how much longer this separation could go on. — Audrey Niffenegger

If you are far away from your lover and family, if you have lost someone, if you feel a bit displaced in your own life: these stories are for you. — Audrey Niffenegger

The hardest lesson is Clare's solitude. Sometimes I come home and Clare seems kind of irritated; I've interrupted some train of thought, broken into the dreary silence of her day. Sometimes I see an expression on Clare's face that is like a closed door. She has gone inside the room of her mind and is sitting there knitting or something. I've discovered that Clare likes to be alone. But when I return from time traveling she is always relieved to see me. — Audrey Niffenegger

I am afraid of the future; it seems to be a big box waiting for me. — Audrey Niffenegger

Tchotchka. Amorta. Heart of my heart. Speak to me. — Audrey Niffenegger

I don't know what to say to this Clare who is old and young and different from other girls, who knows that different might be hard. — Audrey Niffenegger

That's the thing about living vicariously; it's so much faster than actual living. — Audrey Niffenegger

The space that I can call mine.. is so small that my ideas have become small. I am like a caterpillar in a cocoon of paper; all around me are sketches for sculptures, small drawings that seem like moths fluttering against the windows, beating their wings to escape from this tiny space.. Every day the ideas come more reluctantly, as though they know I will starve them and stunt their growth. — Audrey Niffenegger

It's hard being left behind. ( ... ) It's hard to be the one who stays. — Audrey Niffenegger

we both smile and we are conspirators. — Audrey Niffenegger

That is what madness is, isn't it? All the wheels fly off the bus and things don't make sense any more. Or rather, they do, but it's not a kind of sense anyone else can understand. — Audrey Niffenegger

When we met I was wrecked, blasted, and damned, and I am slowly pulling myself together because I can see that you are a human being and I would like to be one, too. — Audrey Niffenegger

To lose one child, Mr. DeTamble, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose three looks like carelessness. — Audrey Niffenegger

I feel that I an everything to her. — Audrey Niffenegger

Hy should free will be limited to right and wrong? I mean, you just decided, of your own free will, to take off your shoes. It doesn't matter, nobody cares if you wear shoes or not, and it's not sinful, or virtuous, and it doesn't affect the future, but you've exercised your free will. — Audrey Niffenegger

Time, let me vanish. Then what we separate by our very presence can come together. — Audrey Niffenegger

[Who are the artists you admire, Surrealist or otherwise?]
Remedios Varo, Max Ernst, Charlotte Salomon, Goya, Aubrey Beardsley. Beardsley is not so much about the impossible as he is about freaks and deformities, but those are interesting to me too. — Audrey Niffenegger

The engagement ring is an emerald, and the dim light from the window is refracted green and white in it. The rings are silver, and they need cleaning. They need wearing, and I know just the girl to wear them. — Audrey Niffenegger

There is only one page left to write on. I will fill it with words of only one syllable. I love. I have loved. I will love. — Audrey Niffenegger

One may do many things in a long life. I also played a great deal of tennis and brought up three children. There's time for all sorts of adventures. — Audrey Niffenegger

I am suddenly comsumed by nostalgia for the little girl who was me, who loved the fields and believed in God, who spent winter days home sick from school reading Nancy Drew and sucking menthol cough drops, who could keep a secret. — Audrey Niffenegger

Clare, I want to tell you, again, I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust. Tonight I feel that my love for you has more density in this world than I do, myself: as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you. — Audrey Niffenegger

Everything hurt but she did not mind. — Audrey Niffenegger

Our love has been the thread through the
labyrinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust. — Audrey Niffenegger

When it's over you look up: the world looks the same but you are somehow different and that feeling lingers for days. — Audrey Niffenegger