Needs Marshall Rosenberg Quotes & Sayings

When we understand the needs that motivate our own and others behavior, we have no enemies. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Make your goal to attend to your underlying needs and to aim for a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved has their needs met also. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Imagine connecting with the human spirit in each person in any situation at any time. Imagine interacting with others in a way that allows everyone's need to be equally valued. Imagine creating organizations and life-serving systems responsive to our needs and the needs of our environment. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

We never really know what we want until after we get it. If after we get it, it makes life more miserable, we know that isn't what we wanted. If it makes our life wonderful, we know this is a strategy which will meet out need. That's why Paul Tillich, the theologian says we need to sin courageously. You ask for what you want, hoping to meet your needs. If you get it and it makes life worse, you learn that this isn't what I want. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Needs are never conflicting. When we say that, we are only saying that at the moment we aren't seeing how both needs can be met. That leaves an opening. When you think in the way I'm suggesting, you'll often find a way to get most needs met simultaneously. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

NVC enhances inner communication by helping us translate negative internal messages into feelings and needs. Our ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

All human actions are an attempt to meet needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

We need to receive empathy to give empathy. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Social change involves helping people see new options for making life wonderful that are less costly to get needs met. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When we have our consciousness on needs, images come to us, naturally, of how to meet those needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Now, with regard to the people who have done things we call "terrorism," I'm confident they have been expressing their pain in many different ways for thirty years or more. Instead of our empathically receiving it when they expressed it in much gentler ways
they were trying to tell us how hurt they felt that some of their most sacred needs were not being respected by the way we were trying to meet our economic and military needs
they got progressively more agitated. Finally, they got so agitated that it took horrible form. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Nonviolent Communication is a powerful tool for peace and partnership. It shows us how to listen empathically and also communicate our authentic feelings and needs. Marshall Rosenberg has a genius for developing and teaching practical skills urgently needed for a less violent, more caring world. — Riane Eisler

Needs are the expression of life through us. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they will be met. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When we are depressed, our thinking blocks us from being aware of our needs, and then being able to take action to meet our needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

I highly recommend the approach Marshall Rosenberg details in Nonviolent Communication (2nd Edition 2008), which has essentially three parts: When X happens [described factually, not judgmentally], I feel Y [especially the deeper, softer emotions], because I need Z [fundamental needs and wants]. — Rick Hanson

Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

The best way I can get understanding from another person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them to hear my needs and feelings, I first need to empathize. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Behind intimidating messages are simply people appealing to us to meet their needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

I try never to hear what another person thinks of me. I enjoy life a lot more when I spend as little time as possible hearing or thinking about what other people think about me. I go to the needs behind the thoughts. Then I'm in a different world. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Violence in any form is a tragic expression of our unmet needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

There are the two main reasons we don't get our needs met. First, we don't know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

If people just asked: "Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs?" the conflict would be easy to resolve. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

In these long-standing conflicts, I find that most cases it gets resolved in about twenty minutes after each side can tell me the needs of the other. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

If you are a czar or a king or a president or someone that wants to control those below them you do not want people to have a consciousness of life, of their needs. Because people do not make good slaves when they're connected to life ... That's why in the public schools the primary objective is obedience to authority. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading to these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

A need is life seeking expression within us. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

I recommend allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before turning our attention to solutions or requests for relief. When we proceed too quickly to what people might be requesting, we may not convey our genuine interest in their feelings and needs; instead, they may get the impression that we're in a hurry to either be free of them or to fix their problem. Furthermore, an initial message is often like the tip of an iceberg; it may be followed by yet unexpressed, but related - and often more powerful - feelings. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

The spirituality that we need to develop for social change is one that mobilizes us for social change. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

My need is for safety, fun and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. NVC is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs. — Marshall B. Rosenberg

We need empathy to give empathy. — Marshall B. Rosenberg