Nba Funny Quotes & Sayings

Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It's up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards. — Bill Walton

The way he was playing, he probably could have scored on Jesus. — Mo Williams

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible. — Barack Obama

If cocaine were helium, the NBA would float away. — Art Rust Jr.

On females officiating in the NBA -Incompetence should not be confined to one sex. — Bill Russell

Christian is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys. — Charles Barkley

I don't mess with that cat. I'm pretty sure he carries a blade under his jersey. — Charles Barkley

What a pathetic play from a pathetic human being. — Bill Walton

I know what I would do if I were coach. I'd determine our strengths and weaknesses and utilize them. And it's pretty clear what our strength is. — Michael Jordan

I'll save that for Mrs. Battier. — Shane Battier

I feel like Bill Walton - old and shitty. — Shaquille O'Neal

Steve Kerr, now coaching Golden State after eight tumultuous and very inconsistent years at TNT. — Marv Albert

Say, Cuttino. What are those Godawful clothes you're wearing? Man, this ain't Rhode Island anymore. You're in the NBA. The girls have teeth here. — Charles Barkley

Not a game, not a game ... practice. — Allen Iverson

I don't have the first clue who he is talking about, because all I worry about is Jerome. — Jerome James

The new moron in town is Chad Ford of ESPN. — Mark Cuban

I hope his breath wasn't too bad for 'Bron.' — Paul George

You could be adding gasoline to a roaring fire. We understand that. But this is who we are. — Brett Brown

Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city. — Woody Allen

I'm no different than any other expendable player. — Mo Williams

It's the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife. — Charles Barkley

We scored a season-high, yeah - albeit against a team that is somewhat tanking. — Andrew Bogut

What do you have when you have an agent buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand. — Pat Williams

We played well all the way until, like, the second quarter. — LeBron James

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more? — Chris Rock

I was just getting acquainted with the wood. I wanted to see if it was maple or pine. — Kurt Rambis

I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet. — Tom Tolbert

I'm going to be one of the top four that's ever played this game, for sure. And if they don't want me to have one of those top four spots, they'd better find another spot on that mountain. Somebody's gotta get bumped, but that's not for me to decide. That's for the architects. — LeBron James

Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cause you were too close, kissing his! — Charles Barkley

Hey Steve, no offense, but if you couldn't shoot, there would be no reason for you to be alive. — Charles Barkley

If you can walk with your head in the clouds and keep your feet on the ground, you can make a million dollars in the NBA. — Gary Dornhoefer

I don't know what's wrong with that girl. — Reggie Evans

I'm here to shine a bright light. I'm not here to be a guy of death. I just like 'KD' better. — Kevin Durant

Sport is the only profession I know of that when you retire you have to go to work. — Earl Monroe

They better not put me in the All -Star Game. I won't shoot, but I'll dominate that easy game. I'll be playing hard defense. I'll be foulin'. I'll be flagrant fouling. Everyone will be like, 'What are you doing?' — Metta World Peace