Nanny Ogg Quotes & Sayings

No,' she said. 'No, I don't reckon that's what I do now. Are you watchin', Mrs Gogol? Are you watchin' real close?'
Her gaze travelled the room and rested for just a fraction of a second on Magrat.
Then she reached over, carefully, and thrust her arm up to the elbow into the burning torch.
And the doll in Erzulie Gogol's hands burst into flame.
It went on blazing even after the witch had screamed and dropped it on to the floor. It went on burning until Nanny Ogg ambled over with a jug of fruit juice from the buffet, whistling between her teeth, and put it out.
Granny withdrew her hand. It was unscathed. — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg had a pragmatic attitude to the truth; she told it if it was convenient and she couldn't be bothered to make up something more interesting. — Terry Pratchett

I did start out in witchcraft to get boys, to tell you the truth.'
'Think I don't know that?'
'What did you start out to get, Esme?'
Granny stopped, and looked up at the frosty sky and then down at the ground.
'Dunno,' she said at last.'Even, I suppose. — Terry Pratchett

It was central to Nanny Ogg's soul that she never considered herself an old woman, while of course availing herself of every advantage that other people's perceptions of her as such would bring. — Terry Pratchett

Typical artist,' said Granny. 'He just painted the showy stuff in the front ... And what about these cherubs? We're not going to get them too, are we? I don't like to see little babies flying through the air.'
'They turn up in a lot of old paintings,' said Nanny Ogg. 'They put them in to show it's Art and not just naughty pictures of ladies with not many clothes on.'
'Well, they're not fooling ME,' said Granny Weatherwax. — Terry Pratchett

It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence. — Terry Pratchett

When Geoffrey was away, the goat often took himself off. He had soon got the goats at Granny's cottage doing his bidding, and Nanny Ogg said once that she had seen what she called 'that devil goat' sitting in the middle of a circle of feral goats up in the hills. She named him 'The Mince of Darkness' because of his small and twinkling hooves, and added, 'Not that I don't like him, stinky as he is. I've always been one for the horns, as you might say. Goats is clever. Sheep ain't. No offence, my dear. — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg could see the future in the froth on a beer mug. It invariably showed that she was going to enjoy a refreshing drink which she almost certainly was not going to pay for. — Terry Pratchett

...she was definitely feeling several twinkles short of a glitter... — Terry Pratchett

Gytha Ogg, you wouldn't be a witch if you couldn't jump to conclusions, right?" Nanny nodded. "Oh, yes." There was no shame in it. Sometimes there wasn't time to do anything else but take a flying leap. Sometimes you had to trust to experience and intuition and general awareness and take a running jump. Nanny herself could clear quite a tall conclusion from a standing start. — Terry Pratchett

She's a queen. That's pretty high,' said Nanny Ogg. 'Almost as high as witches. — Terry Pratchett

What some people need," said Magrat, to the world in general, "is a bit more heart."

"What some people need," said Granny Weatherwax, to the stormy sky, "is a lot more brain."

Then she clutched at her hat to stop the wind from blowing it off.

What I need, thought Nanny Ogg fervently, is a drink. — Terry Pratchett

Oh, we're always all right. You remember that. We happen to other people.
-Nanny Ogg — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people. — Terry Pratchett

I heard this story once," she said, "where this bloke got locked up for years and years and he learned amazin' stuff about the universe and everythin' from another prisoner who was incredibly clever, and then he escaped and got his revenge."
"What incredibly clever stuff do you know about the universe, Gytha Ogg?" said Granny.
"Bugger all," said Nanny cheerfully.
"Then we'd better bloody well escape right now. — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg was about to say: What? You mean not compliant and self-effacing like what you is, Esme? But she stopped herself. You didn't juggle matches in a fireworks factory. — Terry Pratchett

Ah ... it says here that she was, I mean is, fairer than all the stars in heaven ... ." They all looked at Tiffany. "You could try doing something with your hair," said Nanny Ogg after a while. "Like what?" said Tiffany. "Like anything, really. — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck. — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg appreciated fine wine in her very own way. It would never have occurred to Casanunda that anyone would top up white wine with port merely because she'd reached the end of the bottle. — Terry Pratchett

Then Magrat, who in Nanny Ogg's opinion had an innocent talent for treading on dangerous ground, said: "I wonder if we did the right thing? I'm sure it was a job for a handsome prince." "Hah!" said Granny, who was riding ahead. "And what good would that be? Cutting your way through a bit of bramble is how you can tell he's going to be a good husband, is it? That's fairy godmotherly thinking, that is! Goin' around inflicting happy endings on people whether they wants them or not, eh? — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg scowled and said, "Granny never said as she was better than others. She just got on with it and showed 'em and people worked it out for themselves. — Terry Pratchett

I wouldn't say I'm the best," she said, "but I can't think of anyone better, I have to say. — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg was an attractive lady, which is not the same as being beautiful. She fascinated Casanunda. She was an incredibly comfortable person to be around, partly because she had a mind so broad it could accommodate three football fields and a bowling alley. — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped. — Terry Pratchett

Magrat liked to think she was good with children, and worried that she wasn't. She didn't like them very much, and worried about this too. Nanny Ogg seemed to be effortlessly good with children by alternately and randomly giving them either a sweet or a thick ear, while Granny Weatherwax ignored them for most of the time and that seemed to work just as well. — Terry Pratchett

Castles, in Nanny Ogg's experience, were like swans. They looked as if they were drifting regally through the waters of Time, but in fact there was a hell of a lot of activity going on underneath. — Terry Pratchett

Look," said Magrat desperately, "why don't I go by myself?" "'Cos you ain't experienced at fairy godmothering," said Granny Weatherwax. This was too much even for Magrat's generous soul. "Well, nor are you," she said. "That's true," Granny conceded. "But the point is ... the point is ... the point is we've not been experienced for a lot longer than you." "We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience," said Nanny Ogg happily. "That's what counts every time," said Granny. — Terry Pratchett

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do. — Terry Pratchett

A witch couldn't help being some kind of expert as to the ways people came into the world; by the time she was twelve, the older witches had trusted her to go out to a birth by herself. Besides, she had helped lambs to be born, even when she was quite small. It came naturally, as Nanny Ogg said, although not as naturally as you might think. She remembered Mr. and Mrs. Hamper, quite a decent couple who had three children in a row before they worked out what was causing it. — Terry Pratchett

This ain't right, you know. She's the one who ought to rule, fair enough. And you used magic to help her this far, and that's all right. But it stops right here. It's up to her what happens next. You can't make things right by magic. You can only stop making them wrong."
Mrs. Gogol pulled herself up to her full, impressive height. "Who's you to say what I can and can't do here?"
"We're her godmothers," said Granny.
"That's right," said Nanny Ogg.
"We've got a wand, too," said Magrat.
"But you hate godmothers, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs. Gogol.
"We're the other kind," said Granny. "We're the kind that gives people what they know they really need, not what we think they ought to want. — Terry Pratchett

Bugger off sweetheart Nanny's busy — Terry Pratchett

I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult," said Granny firmly. "Once you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you're believing in gods. And then you're in trouble."
"But all them things exist," said Nanny Ogg.
"That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em. — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg was sitting out in her back garden in the no-nonsense way of old ladies everywhere, legs wide apart for the healthy circulation of air. — Terry Pratchett

You never know until you look, said Nanny Ogg, expounding her own Uncertainty Principle. — Terry Pratchett

To Tiffany's surprise, Nanny Ogg was weeping gently. Nanny took another swig from her flagon and wiped her eyes. 'Cryin' helps sometimes,' she said. 'No shame in tears for them as you've loved. Sometimes I remember one of my husbands and shed a tear or two. The memories're there to be treasured, and it's no good to get morbid-like about it. — Terry Pratchett

Walter Plinge said: "You know she asked me a very silly question Mrs Ogg! It was a silly question any fool knows the answer!"
"Oh, yes," said Nanny. "About houses on fire, I expect ... "
"Yes! What would I take out of our house if it was on fire!"
"I expect you were a good boy and said you'd take your mum," said Nanny.
"No! My mum would take herself!"
"What would you take out then, Walter?" Nanny said.
"The fire! — Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg gave this the same consideration as would a nuclear physicist who'd just been told that someone was banging two bits of sub-critical uranium together to keep warm. — Terry Pratchett

Divers alarums and excursions', she read, uncertainly. 'That means lots of terrible happenings, said Magrat. 'You always put that in plays.'
Alarums and what?', said Nanny Ogg, who hadn't been listening.
Excursions', said Magrat patienly.
Oh.' Nanny Ogg brightened a bit. 'The seaside would be nice,' she said.
Oh do shut up, Gytha,' said Granny Weatherwax. 'They're not for you. They're only for divers, like it says. Probably so they can recover from all them alarums. — Terry Pratchett

Very well. My name is WxrtHltl-jwlpklz," said the demon smugly.
"Where were you when the vowels were handed out? Behind the door?" said Nanny Ogg. — Terry Pratchett